Gimme A Break

It seems like no matter what I plan, all I ever do is answer the damn phone. I can't take it off the hook. Jessie is about to go into labor. Billy and Robin are in Calif and have called me several times for directions and advice as to what beach to go to ect. These calls are fun and I love to hear the kids laughing in the background.They called yesterday and as we talked they saw a whale or 2. They went nuts. Baby lost a shoe over a pier near Newport Beach. They are having fun but ready to come home now. One their way to an animal park in San Diego right now. Trying to clean out my room. Was making progress till the phone began.Cady calling from school with a headache. Tough it out I told her. Jessie was told by the midwife to show up at the hospital tonight at 7. Then we thought her water was leaking and she had to go the the labor and del at the hospital. They told her to come in Mon morning instead since her water was not leaking. When she called this morning they told her no go home till tonight. She's in tears, Her and Joey cleaned the entire house yet again. Cars too. They are pooped. Her pelvic bones hurt so bad she is having a hard time walking. She wants this baby out. Baby is already pretty darn big. 9 lbs at least. The one good thing about having the baby tonight is that Grampa Joe will be back from Gallup NM. Gage is staying with him. He loves Grampa. They had a cook out this week-end out back. He stayed the night. They grilled trout. Sunday Gage went to church with us. He found a way to perch on Grampas lap while he played drums. Phone has rung twice now. Better run and try to clean my room. Have a wonderful day. and it's really okay to call me, really.
PS, I am not bitching cuz my family loves me enough to call and let me join in their fun, I am just bitching. I am a big grump today. Baby is coming tonight. They are at hospt, I will be going when Joey calls me. He said when she hits 5 cm.I better get my self together! Going to try to add the photos blogger refused me this morn. Seeing a new baby come into the world always makes me cry. It really is a miracle. Since Joey hasn't said anything I think the name is till going to be Jody Wayne. Wayne is his dads and his brothers middle name. I made the mistake of giving Gage a couple of kazoos I found in my drawer today. Wow, he can really go to town on those things.

So Many Blogs To Read, So Little Time

Thanks to Mollys blogroll I have found so many wonderful women I have to read every day. It started with Soule Mama and I have gone crazy. Women who are quilting, knitting, raising their own chickens for eggs and meat. Sewing tiny beautiful clothes for their children. Women with goats women who spin and dye their own yarns. Oh I am so excited to know these wonderful women are out there. Women who make the world a better place through the ways they live and raise their babies. It's been 2 or 3 weeks since I stopped caring for Gage everyday. Oh my heart hurts with the missing of him. But I still keep him alot. But now I can do all these things I have dreamed of doing for years. Knitting and sewing and quilting are all things I can do but need a little brushing up on. I am a perfectionist. It is not a good thing. Being laid back and calming down is what I am reaching for. I can do this. We are still waiting for baby Jody to make his appearance. Either way he's out of there come Monday morning. At first they told Jess Mon night at 7. Now it is Mon morn at 7. I spent all night on cupcakes again. Taking them to church. I love to make them. Baby cakes.I will never make it to church if I don't go to bed. Good night my dears. P.S. also check out Mackville Road and MorningRamble and My Room With A View.

Ready To Pop

I have always disliked that term. But heck, it really looks like she might. Spent the day running this poor little moma up all the stairs at the Space Hall Of Fame. Ran her up and down hills. Lost her plug (tmi) last night. Hope she has this baby soon. She is miserable. It's already almost 9 lbs. Big enough. That was my biggest. I am getting so excited. Gage is packed and ready to spend the night with Grandpa Joe. Keep her in your prayers please. love ya, deb

ps, forgot to mention, baby is fine. jessie is dilated to 2 is 50% effaced and babies head is very low. if she doesn't have this little guy be monday they gave her paperwork top show up at the hospital monday eve at 7PM. Inducing. those last days seem to go on forever.

Too Much INfo, Good or Bad?

Just looked up Low Amniotic Fliuds in last trimester. It's a bit troublesome. Now I am worried. Forget what I said. Call in the Dr. I hope she went home and looked it up. I want her laying down and be drinking lots of water. I know the baby is most likely just fine. I wish I had gone with her today. I am a question asker. The Drs hate me. I will be calling my midwife friend in the morning. The nurse told her she would be fine till Thursday. Well, she sure better be. Where we live you really have to be an informed patient. You have to do your homework. Our hospital is involved in so many lawsuites. This is why Heather went to Las Cruces for surgery. We live in Dogpatch.

Ultra Sounds,What The Hell?

GRandbaby # 8 had a due date of April 15th. My daughter in law Jessie has been saying for weeks now that she is farther along than the drs told her. Well, we all feel that way the last few weeks. But she really is big and there seems to be no more room for baby to grow. They decided 2 weeks ago she may be right and should have done another ultra sound right away. They waited and did one today. After which they determined her due date was yesterday. Baby now weighs 8lbs 12 oz. Seems amniotic fluids are a bit low also. She has an appt with her midwife on Thurday and Drs said she could wait till then which was fine with her. Midwives are all out of town at a seminar. In our family we aern't big on Drs. They suck. If you have a special problem then they are fine. But for a normal birth a midwife is the way to go. They are laid back, they allow you to have your family in the room with you during everything. Some people want total privacy and for them thats fine. It's your birth and it should be the way you want it. Myself and my girls and daughters in law all want to be surrounded with people who love us and our baby. It's so great to feel so safe in a room like that. Besides, helping someone get through labor takes a few people. I sat in the shower with Sara for hrs. Holding her on the big ball. Aiming hot water at the small of her back. Long as she was in the shower the pain was okay. She never had an epidural. Jessie didn't have one with Gage and plans not to have one this birth either. I"m packing extra clothes in case we end up in the shower. The men you ask? Ah, send them to boil water or something. They are great but tend to get upset at seeing women in pain. They are always there but it seems the women are better at helping other women. Joe was there when Cady was born. Billy was there when all 4 of our babies were born. He delivered Billy. The midwife let him catch. I am so glad we have pictures of everyone being born. So, hopefully this baby boy will wait till Thursday. Either way we are getting our cameras and clothes ready. I have to run to Las Cruces on Wed with Heather to have her staples removed from her surgery. I swear, I am as busy with my familt now than when they were small. I wouldn't want it any other way. Joey has maybe picked a name. Jessie named Gage. We all tried to talk her out of it. So it's Joeys turn with this baby. It was Brayden Wayne. It is now Jody Wayne. I love Jody. My boyfriend from 1970-1973 was named Jody. I did a post about him. He and I are like brother and sister now. I think Jody is a cute name. So, I will be posting pics of the new one soon. Wanna bet his name will change again? I think it will be Brayden. Fine with me too. Easter was so nice. Peaceful and everyone was here. Except Joey. He is mad at his brother. What a waste. But still the kids were so happy. They ran everyplace hunting eggs. There were a few years that we had no small kids for a while. Cady and Christian. It was sad. Now we have a giant crop of young ones and they are amazing to see. Soon as my ex sends me pics I will post. My camera died. My love to you all.

It's Your Birthday!

Today is the 40th birthday of my sweet husband. He is one of the kindest men I have ever known. He married an older with 4 (count em, 4) kids. He always loved us all. He's always worked so hard to care for us. For the most part he allowed me to be a stay at home mommy. And lets face it, paying for a sitter for that many kids is a joke. Plus, I was always nursing someone. I figured it out once. I have spent close to 9 years of my life nursing babies. I get off subject so easy. Brain of a fruitfly I always say. Joe and I have been together for about 20 years. I can never remember how long we've been married. Maybe 16. Too lazy to dig out the paperwork. He's stuck with me through thin and fat. Working my way back to thinner. He is the best grandpa in the world. All the kids adore him. He will play with them forever and never fails to get a smile out of them all. If I am sick he will stay be my side with medicine or run in the middle of the night for meds we need. He will pitch in and clean house if I need a hand. He whips up a fantastic shrimp scampi. When I lose all patience and throw a cry baby fit he will calm me down and never get mad. He is just a nice human being and I am so blessed to have him. So Happy Birthday to you, my Joe. You came along and saved me from myself. You brought me back to life. I love you, deb

Under The Knife.

Who in the hell thought that one up? It sounds awful. I have to be up before the sun and drag myself and Cady to town. Heather is going to Las Cruces to have her gall bladder surgery tomorrow. Natalie only wants mommy. THis should be good. Okay, she loves me and will go places with me. But you know how little kids want mommy when the sun goes down. Cady will be there to help. The boys too. I will be waiting by the phone for Jimmy to call and tell me everything is over and all is well. I won't be home till FRiday. Trying like mad to get it all together. I need to finish laundry. I shall see you when I return unless I get the chance to get online at Heffs house. Have a good couple of days my sweets.oh, here's heather in the green top.there are so many to keep up with in my family.

DOOCE

Heather Armstrong at Dooce, she says some pretty funny shit. I feel kinda crummy tonight. No reason. I just do that now and then to bother my family. They find it really makes their night to find me depressed and not in the dinner cookin mood. Hey, I was gonna. For real. I even said so last night. You remember, huh? St Paddy's Day and all. Well, I didn't do a thing. Heather needed me to run to town. She had one hr till she was supposed to be at a wedding. (I know, on a Monday?) The top she just paid alot for had a mark on it. Right on front. If I ran fast enough she could just make it in time to return the top and replace it. I ran and she did too. Oh, I had to run to babysit sleeping Natalie. Waking her was not an option. Who in their right mind wakes a sleeping toddler before the nap is over? Not me. Grump city folks. All went fine and Heather and Jimmy and Natalie left and I stayed with the boys. Cady got off work and came too. It was fun. I love to hang out with the grandkids. But now that I am home I am tired and sleepy and Joe thought dinner was coming. I might have even though I felt crumby. Then he made a mistake. He told me the look I just had on my face when talking about how much I didn't want to cook reminded him of this guy. Gee, right off I didn't like it. He couldn't remember who it was. I told him maybe he should drop it as I was feeling less like cooking now than before. He didn't. He remembered. I reminded him of Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. He just brought me in a plate of food cooked by him. Thats what he gets. So, about Heather Armstrong. On her post tonight, the last part of the last sentence said this: "I don't know what's going on, but maybe this is what happens right before bacon falls out of the sky". Maybe it's just me( NOpe, she's very popular) but that made me laugh until I choked and tears rolled down my Pedro like face.

Nil moran Gaeilge agam

Happy St. Patricks Day! One of my favorite days. My mothers family are Irish and we always had a celebration of some sort. Every year for a while I make a habit of watching "The Secret Of Roan Inish" and "My Left Foot". My favorite Irish films. Okay, "The Quiet Man" is the best but I don't own it."Darby O"Gill and The Little People" is another good one. It used to scare me though. Making soda bread and I don't know what else. No corned beef. The Irish were too poor for beef actually. My family is not keen on lamb. Potato something. Maybe a nice pigs head like Frank Mc Courts family. I am usually reading Angelas Ashes about now but I finished it again 3 weeks ago and I have to stop with the reading of it for a while. I have a terrible thing for this book. Fact is I have to go to the library. I have read everything that interests me here. We have too many books in the house. People give them to me instead of the Goodwill. Finished The Mists Of Avalon a while back too so I'm done for a few years. That book takes alot out of me. Thinking of something totally different from my usual choices. So, don't forget to be wearin the green or you'll get a pinch. Have a wonderful GREEN day.

And The Poop Goes On

What the hell, I think I may just see if Blogger feels like it tonight. Joe is someplace DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS. On his way to San Antonio. When he is gone I think of how mean I may have been and feel bad and say an extra prayer. Today he surpassed his old record for weird things that aint gonna happen. I blew a fuse and had to call Heather just to get confirmation that I am not the crazy one. I was out cleaning up the always present poop from what used to be my nice front yard, It now looks alot like a horse corral. Not a blade of grass just powdered dirt and poop. I took my shovel and spent 30 minutes nit picking poop. I want every tiny piece gone. If you leave anything, when water hits it, it comes back to life. I was pretty happy with myself and went to find the sprinkler. Couldn't find it but did find a strange thing. Just on the other side of my fence but still in our yard was a hole. A hole that someone had filled with poop. Since nobody but me picks that stuff up and just Sunday Joe had done that job for me as I was sick. I knew he did it. I called him and he actually admitted it. I was surprised. When he knows I'm pissed he will blame Cady. Okay, I know this is getting too long but hang on. We live in the country and have to haul out own trash to the dump. Since he got his new truck with the nice camper he can't use the truck for what I see as the reason to have a damn truck. No hauling trash in his nice truck. PLus, he went to see his mom just before Christmas and before she went to live in a nursing home. His sisters gave him a ton of crap. Our house is full with so much stuff as it is we can't walk. The stuff he brought back is still in his truck. Because even though it isn't much of a truck anymore it makes one hell of a storage unit. What I am taking an hour to say is that he burns our trash and poop doesn't burn. He thought it would be good to just bury it since it would be good like fertilizer. My ass! To top it all off after I found the sprinkler I also found the hose had shrunk to 5 feet long since the 3 legged goober brain ate the rest of it. And tomorrow I'm goin out there again and fight for my yard until I get it back. Damn dogs.

Blogger, I Don't Like You

Not allowed to post pictures yesterday. Why it makes me so mad I don't know. There is something about me cooking a nice dinner that causes disaster in the lives of others. This is the 3rd time in the past week that dinner is minutes away when Joes beeper goes off. The house gets instantly silent until we hear if they call "La Luz". If they do Cady and Joe are out the door in 30 seconds. The Fire Dept is just blocks away so they get there fast. Tonight I had invited Cadys botfriend over for dinner. Cady has been busy all week-end in Tularosa at her First Responders class.I will go into that in a minute. Boyfriend had just got here when the alarm went off. Poor Cady, she looked at her dad and looked at her boyfriend. In the end she stayed home. Joe was gone for 5 hrs. The wind is blowing very hard. Joe just came in and told me about the fire. Turns out we knew who the trailor belonged to. Bad people. They used to live near us and were busted with a meth lab in their trailor. We have had 2 meth labs in our neighborhood in the past. Joe was at the fire and recognized that smell. He is not allowed to talk about anything when other people are milling about. He later reported to his chief and they let the sherriff know. I am sure as soon as their names came up the police would have figured it out anyhow. Joe found their 3 little dogs burned in the trailer. The couple where no place to be found. They reported it as a barbque gone wrong. You don't cook out in New Mexico during a wind storm. Those winds will take your roof off. I am getting used to my family jumping and running at a moments notice now. I am proud of them both. Now, Cady classes. After school on Friday and then after work we ran her out to Tularosa to the Fire Dept for her First Responders class. They went until 9 that night and then home work. Next morning we had to get her out there at 8am. Class went until 7 that night. Same thing today. She already had her first test and got a 100%. I can't believe she is doing it. She is making her dream come true. I asked her boyfriend if he likes being the only guy in school whose girlfriend is a fireman. He is proud but I think a bit confused. It is not what the other girls are doing. She is one of only 2 girls in a class of about 20 and most are men her dads age. The other girl is not going to make it as she is to concerned about getting dirty. Cady is a tall green-eyed blonde tomboy. She likes to get dolled up but she will get out there and work on her 4 wheeler and change the oil with her dad. She is the son he never had. I am so proud of that girl.
no pics tonite again. love ya blogger

Hey, Today Was Not So Bad

Oh the thrill of getting ready for bed and not having THE WEIGHT on my entire body and oozing out my eyeballs. Today was just a peaceful nice little day. Cady has today and tomorrow off school. That means she is working all day. She is learning how to artificially inseminate dogs. Oh the thrill of it all. Yuck, scuse me whilst I barf. She gets so much on the job training it is a great thing. We have to register her up at the college tomorrow for her first responder classes. They start in 2 weeks. Got to go grocery shopping and pay bills today. In a world where so many go without, I feel so blessed to be able to buy food and pay my cable TV bill. This week-end is Jessies baby shower. Last week-end was Nehemiahs birthday. Monday last week was my ex husbands birthday. On the 21st my Joe will be 40. Oh my. On the 28th Jaylon will be 7. On the 21st Heather will be having gall bladder surgery unless she has an emergency before then. Jessie will most likely be having the baby near the end of the month.Her due date is April 15. Baby is probably already 8 lbs. Joey was 9 lbs. Gage was 8 something and that was even being induced 2 weeks early. It is very expensive to be in this family. There is a birthday or anniversary every month. I think March is our biggest month. Tonight I made Pioneer Womans Roasted garlic Mashed Potatoes. They were great. But I really could not notice that the cream cheese was there at all. I think I will leave it out and spare us the extra calories and fat. But then if I was really worried I would not be making such foods anyhow. I do love roasted garlic. At this rate Pioneer Woman could have me back into my size GIANT jeans next month. Really, The apple goodie, ya gotta try it once. Yum. I am so happy not be upset about anything tonight. I love this. Good night friends.

Oink

I will never make this Apple thing again. It's way good. I ate 2 of them. I wish I still had the ability to make myself throw-up cuz I would be in there right now. I am not going to pork that weight back on. Oh gosh, the guilt is haunting me. It's all I can think of. I was all set to have my orange and water for dinner. Some nights I eat and some nights I just do fruit and water. I have been feeling so much better. Something came over me at the mkt. I brought aples and oranges and turned the apples into FAT. Tomorrow is a new day and I will do better. I hope you had a good evening.

Gimme More Pioneer Recipes

Okay, I am on another of Ree's recipes tonight. A few days ago I made her "Brisket Baby"and it was to die for. Tonight I am wrecking my diet and making her "Apple Dumplings". They are going to be killer I already know that. How can they not be? I will report back in an hour or so if I don't die from Sugar Shock. I will die with a smile. A big Fat smile. Thank you Pioneer Woman. I always loved cooking and baking but in the last 5 yrs I sorta lost my love. PLus all those hungry mouths grew up and left. When I am stressed out cooking helps me clear my head and just cook. It's better than a valium. I love to feed others. I am not putting all that fat back on,,I am not,really. Joe is in Arizona tonight so I need a project. This will do the trick.

Lovely Weather

It was so warm yesterday thay I took off the flannel sheets. Tonight it was snowing. Now the wind has kicked up and is blowing extreemly hard. This is one thing that really scares me. I am praying one of the giant old cottonwood trees does not come down on us, I cannot sleep it is that loud. I am sure it is gusting upwards of 45-50 mph. It's that time of year. Joe can sleep through anything. Lights already went out once. I have candles and matches handy. I got alot done tonight. Tons of laundry. Went through my clothes and found alot of things that I love that fit finally after several years. Fashion smashion, I wear the things I like. I could care less what is in style. Good thing too, I can't afford to be picky. I do really have my eye on the cutest Juicy, Day Dreamer bag though. I could save up my babysitting $ and get it maybe. Maybe. Heather and I have been making a big effort to look like "girls" these days. Instead of slobs. Ya know that look that you get when you have spent too much time at home with the kids? I think we have been doing pretty good. This is the most weight I have taken off in 7 yrs. I love it. Just need another 45 lbs off to be really happy. But I have made progress. Okay, I swear the roof is coming off any second. I am going to cuddle up by Joe and hope he will save me. Good night my dears.

Pioneer Woman, You Rock!

I left a not so good posting last night as I was real punked out. But today is another day. That brisket was fabulous. I toned down the soy sauce a bit but other wise I kept to her instructions. Go ahead you girls, make that brisket. I did cook it alot longer than she said. I checked and it just wasn't cooked enough after 4 hrs. The meat weighed 5 lbs and I cooked it at 300 for 6-7 hrs. It was not dry at all. It was perfect. Today I made barbecue beef sandwiches. I tell you this stuff was great. I love my own cooking and use my own recipes most all the time. It was a nice change of pace. In the next few days I will be making those damn baked apples or whatever she calls them. Butter,apples, crescent rolls, cinnamon and Mountain Dew? Oh kill me now. I gotta make those. I don't need to even taste them to know they are heaven. looks like something I will need a gallon of milk to go with. It's sucks, I lost all that fat and now I am on a cooking spree again. Thanks anyway Ree. Your cooking is very much like my favorite gal, Paula Dean.Yummy!

Thank You Pioneer Woman

Spent all day on the brisket. Cooked it a bit longer than 40 min a lb but other than that I followed her instructions and it seems to have turned out great. Didn't feel like eating since I ended up home alone with a big dinner again. Cady babysitting and Joe got called to a fire. Lasted 4-5 hrs. He's been complaining about his weight. No problem. I am not cooking anymore.

ONE YEAR AGO

In about 15 minutes it will be the exact moment that Nehemiah Leland Harcrow was born. Robin always has quiet and peaceful births. Our entire family was there as is always the case when a new member of the clan comes into the world. This is not everyones cup of tea but it works for us. When Jaylon was born, Billy (my son) didn't want anyone there. They may see a private part and that would be terrible. Hey, he found out pretty fast that nobody is looking at those parts. Nobody is there for all the pelvic exams. The birth is another thing. The Dr wasn't needed. The midwife is the mother of Billy and Robins best friend and she let us all be there after Billy felt comfortable with it. For myself, having the room filled with people who loved me and my baby was my dream come true. I felt so safe and cozy. My kids and friends were always there with me when I gave birth. Heather was the first to bathe and diaper newborn Joey. He and Billy were both homebirths. I had the 3 girls at the hospital. I was still allowed to have everyone with me. Back to Nehemiah. He was born at 2:30pm. His brother Jaylon was thrilled. Heather, Sara and Cady plus the baby girls, Maddie and Natalie were all there too. I know this is not for everyone but it sure feels amazing to have your family right there. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER. Jaylon started calling him Brother and it has stuck.

What Is Peace And How Do I Get It?

Today has been just like the rest of my week was. Chock full of upsetting news and problems that are out of my hands. I am the person everyone calls when things are sucking so I can cheer them up or say a prayer with them over the phone. I have always been that person. Sometimes I can make a difference. Sometimes I can make it all better. Lots of times I am just there to vent to. No matter who it is, when someone shares their troubles with me I take them as my own. Joe hates that. I become sad and depressed over things I cannot change. Depending upon who and what it is, I may stay awake most of the night thinking myself into a hole from which there is no escape. I know this is not helping anyone. Today or really just a moment ago I went to Mollys blog. You know "Lost A Sock". Joe is teaching me how to link to other sites and soon you can click right on over to Molly and lots of other wonderful places. Molly had already left a post today. Not a long post. But a post oozing with peace and acceptance. I think acceptance brings with it peace. I cannot do justice to her words so I will not try. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my bruised shoulders. My husband sat with me an hour ago trying to get me to let it all go and just give it to God. He grabbed my hands and prayed with me. So maybe it is God who took me to Mollys post in answer to Joes prayer. Who knows? It doesn't really matter how or why. I just know that her words went right to my heart. For right now I feel peaceful and I will spread it around as much as I am able. Thank you Molly.