mamarazzi

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Location: United States

I HAVE 5 KID10 GRANDKIDS,2 DOGS,1 and 2 LOUD PARAKEETS. I MISS THE 60'S AND THE 70'S,LOVE TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY FAMILY,,THEY ARE SO BURNED OUT ON ME AND MY CAMERA. ITS SUCH A RELIEF WHEN MY BATTERIES GO DEAD.My dream is to run away and work in a little book store in Ireland and live in a little stone cottage with a few cats and watch the sea.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

A Healthy Baby







The greatest words ever. And then "it's a girl". If I could hold my eyes open I would have more to say tonight. Love to you all. I'm sorry for the delay Biddie. One of those days. Joes goats broke out, the toilet overflowed big time. Ah, it's spring.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Goodness


Last night Cady called me to her room. She put my hand on her belly and I felt it. Just that quick. A small little miracle made contact with me. Her belly is getting so round and tight. We went through all her drawers and the closet too yesterday. There is not much left that she can fit into without it being a tight squeeze. She is not keen on big ol maternity tops. She looks very cute with her belly under a tight tee shirt. We are going to the thrift shop on pay day to look for a few things that she may like. Tomorrow is her appt to see what this child will be. We are hoping the baby feels like playing along. I have bought so much pink based fabric to make a quilt. It only just entered my head that maybe we have a boy in there. Now I have 6 grandsons and only 2 granddaughters. I would love another girl but in the end it really makes no difference. I am feeling very blessed and peaceful today. Heather (my oldest) and I have been taking care of her dad since his homecoming 4 days ago. He is running us ragged. He came close to death and it seems to have turned him around in many ways. I have been twice to clean and scrub for him. I hurt my back doing what I knew I should not. It was so worth it though. He has been such a hermit for about 8 years. The grandkids love him but prefer grampa Joe. He is ready to come back and have a life. His body was being poisoned by that awful gall bladder. He is feeling so much better that he has to call me several times a day and night to confirm that he is not crazy. He is actually feeling good. He called at 10:30 last night to talk about God. He and I went to Calvary Chapel, Costa Mesa back in the 80's and he was very happy then. I invited him to come with us and he feels that it would be wrong to tag along with Joe and I. Joe wrote him last night and invited him again. My Joe is an amazing man. He has no problem with me spending all that time taking care of my ex husband or talking to him for hours each day on the phone. I must admit that I grow weary of the phone thing though. I am not a phone person. Today I have an appt with my Doc. I love her. She actually sits and talks to me. I do not know if she ever got the results from my biopsy but if not she will be soon. I am sick of this back trouble and really wanted to find out about therapy. I am too young to be sidelined like this.
The wind is blowing hard. The sun is out. Spring is a comin. Joe got alot of work done on our closet. I didn't leave home yesterday and managed to get some laundry and cleaning done. I love a clean home. Hoping your day is a good one. The photo is my brothers and I. It feels like 100 years ago.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Winter, The Comeback




Last Saturday Joe got the air conditioner running. Last night it snowed. We are freezing. I thought I was done hauling wood. Okay, I knew it would get cold at least once more but not like this. Cady and I are huddled together waiting for me to get sressed and do a fire. Last night Joe took me to see 2 Celtic bands. It was great. Grada and Beoga. I could listen to this music forever. It reminds me a bit of Pentangle and It's A Beautiful Day from many years ago. It's music that takes you away to another land and time. Both bands have music on youtube if you care to check it out. Ex hub is home and doing okay but needs alot of help. The docs thought he had mesothelioma. They had found dark spots on his lung. Scared us to death. Then they found that he had pneumonia. His gall bladder was so toxic and swollen that it was touching the lower part of a lung. He is on oxygen. I cleaned house for him yesterday and Heather has been running back and forth when he calls afraid. I live out of town so it's up to her. She is in nursing school and knows much more of what needs to be done than the rest of us.He has been having such sad crying spells it breaks my heart. He lives like a hermit and now he needs us all. He didn't know how much he was loved and is overwhelmed. My house is in need of a good cleaning but I may never get to be home again. I really need to be here all week-end. I didn't need to stay with Billy since Joey decided he wanted to. I can't be in a house with a heater cranked up all night. My hotflashes drive everyone nuts. Hoping you all have a wonderful week-end.

Monday, March 23, 2009

People With Issues

What people you say? Hmm. Last night while I lie half dead on the couch Joe began cleaning the junk off the table in our room so he could move the very old dresser he brought home from Moms house.( I can make even longer than that, just watch) He got real into it. He and I are an Oprah show on people who save everything. The thing is, my stuff is really worth saving and his is not so much. Okay, he says the same thing about me. So anyhow, he did such a good job that he cleaned out the corner. Now this corner had a nice pile of boxes and other stuff. Computers and a TV and general crapola. The pile in the corner was blocking a door. The door was to another little room. We have not been in that room for maybe 8 years. The exception to that is just when a circuit would blow. The only way into the room was from the outside. Joe would climb through and flip the switch. I never worried about anyone breaking in cause that corner was packed in tight. The little room is a small walk-in closet and a small bathroom. With no garage and only 2 closets we filled that room way up years ago. Then one day we never went back in. Strange you say? Um, I think so too. Joey( youngest son and Gages daddy) and Joe have always wanted to rent a dumpster and throw everything out the window and knock out the wall and enlarge my kitchen. I was so sleepy last night I went to bed while Joe worked. This morning I found he had done what he and Joey had dreamed. He took a snow shovel and threw everything out the window. It is about 4 feet tall. The pile I mean. He also found Cadys social security card and birth certif. Plus so many cute things the kids had made for me. But most of it is trash. I have taken no pics yet but even though it is an awful sight, I have to share it with you. It feels so good to know that is not sitting there anymore. It is also a lesson for us both. We don't need to save everything the kids touch. I kept every paper they brought home when they were small. One day I made myself toss papers my son Billy brought home. He came in with tears rolling down his little cheeks holding his paper. It broke my heart. That's what started it. Funny, the rest of my house is okay. Except my room is kinda used as a dumping ground for homeless items. Now that Joe has brought in the new old dresser and will be bring in the wardrobe we will have room for our things. I don't even have a linen cabinet. My towels have to be stacked on some crappy shelf from walmart in the hall. Soon that will be gone and the hall will be a hall. We are sorta spring cleaning. I am glad Joe took advantage of me sleeping to get that cleaned out. Now we just have to get the shit out of the yard. Thanks Joe.
On another subject. The ex hubby went into the hospital in Las Cruces last Thursday. Had surgery on gall bladder duct. They did it through his throat. They found 5 stones there. His Dr thought he may not want to wait on taking out the gall bladder so it was to be the following day. Heather and Natalie, Cady and myself all drove over to visit him in between surgeries. He was feeling a bit low and sore but mostly he was afraid. We promised to wait in Cruces and come back to check on him after he was out of recovery. Because he was being worked in at the last minute he didn't have an exact time. We got to Cruces at 11 A.M. and got home at midnight. Long day. Poor guy. His gall bladder was so bad the doc said it was the worst he had ever seen. He felt he would have died within a week give or take a few days. He had to have open surgery instead of what Heather and I had. I got 4 small knife holes and that was it. He has a 12 inch gash on his belly.They didn't know how many stones when he asked as it was just full and ready to burst. Everytime we called to ask about him we were told he was still in the OR. Then shift change came and they thought he may be in recovery but who knew? It was late but we left Cady and Natalie in the van and made one last visit to the hospital. He was there alone in his room. He was moaning and swollen and telling us to be quiet. The taliban was there. Don't breath the toxic fumes he said to me, "Deb, take Heather out of here fast". He was in a great deal of pain and at the time we thought he had the laproscopic surgery. He is a big baby and we didn't know til Heather checked his wound just how bad he was. She went to the nurses station to ask for his nurse. They had no idea he was in his room. How long he was there alone and crying in pain we have no clue. Maybe up to 30 minutes. Heather is my girl in nursing school. She found 2 tubes that didn't look right and showed the nurse. Then the 2 of them found a little back pack looking thing just laying by him connected to tubing. Turns out it was antibiotics. Nurse Lisa rolled some heads. She found out he needed his pain meds and now. He was a mess. She did a wonderful job with him and by the time we left we knew she would take good care of daddy. 3 of the kids went to see him yesterday and he was doing real good. I called him today and he is ready to come home. Maybe a few more days.He is walking around and hardly any complaining.We all feel so bad because nobody knew he was so sick. It's like the boy who called wolf. The kids never pay as much attention to him as they should. He is hoping that he will feel so much better now that he can play more with the grandkids and they won't run past him into Grandpa Joe. Joe is step-dad to 4 of my kids. Cady being our only child together. Back in those days Billy had a girlfriend who was jealous of his kids and he let her rule. Joe took total care of them all. Billy paid maybe 1000.00 child support all those years. It's a miracle that we are all friends now. He came to our door one day and held out his hand to Joe. They have been friends ever since. After 8 years he left the girlfriend and has tried his best to be a better dad. And he has done okay. But the grandkids all want grandpa Joe. Maybe now he can feel well enough to be the fun grampy too. I am hoping that I won't have to stay with him when he comes home. But I said I would if he needs me and so I will. I will be ready with a stack of books just in case. I finished Eat, Pray, Love. One of my favorite books this year. I don't really like sci-fi. I went through a Robin Cook thing years ago. I was surprised how much a liked his style. I finished my Beatrix Potter book also. I loved it too. She was very interesting. I wish our library had more books on her life. Okay, I think I have rambled around long enough. Have a great night all of you.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Hello Again






















Seems like if I have the time that I am not in the mood to post. But really, it's been so long. I have had no word about the results of the biopsy. I'm sure they will call one day. But enough about that. Let me tell you what I have been up to. Kids, I have been up to my eyeballs in kids. Nearly everyday. Most days I am lovin it. Today , not so much. I over did it yesterday and those other days that we had this week. My daughter Sara decided to go to beauty school with her best friend. She has issues with paranoia and nerves like her mom and the poor girl wanted so bad to do something with her life. It is like a new Sara. She is so happy. She loves all the things she is doing and learning. She is so fashion obsessed and has every hair in place. This is for her. That means I am watching Madison 4 days a week. 3 of those days she goes to a pre school for 3 hours. My oldest girl, Heather is going to college. She began a few years ago but got pregnant with Natalie and that slowed things up a bit. She is doing so well. She is going to be a nurse. She is doing chemistry right now and wow, I have no clue how she does it. 3 days a week I either go to her house or she brings the kids to me while she is in class. Madison is gone just before Heathers 3 arrive. On those nights I make a big dinner like I did when all the kids were home and we have a great time together. We still have to paint lots of rocks because thats what they love to do at grammas house. Today Gage called me abd begged to come over. He said he didn't need me to babysit him or anything like that. He just needed to come over. I have been missing my little guy pretty bad so I had to say yes. Madison was gone less than 90 seconds when Gage walked in the front door. One hour later Heather brought the kids. It was a long day for the old gramma. I haven't even told you about Joes trip to Texas last week. His brother called him on a Sunday and told him the older sister (the one they don't like) was going to sell off all the family things in the house that she had not already taken. Mom went to a nursing home last year and the house has sat empty. They lived in that house since maybe 1949. All Joes memories start there. It is a small little cottage. As far as money goes, they were poor. I grew up in beautiful homes with pools and horses. I would take his home in a heartbeat. because it was filled with love. Someday I will talk about my dad. So what I am saying is my heart was broken about the death of Joes home. He went alone.It's 5 hours away. We have too many animals for me to go. Plus, even with the house being cloesd up Joe stayed there anyway. He went out and turned on the water for those 3 days he was there and nobody knows why the elec was turned back on when he got home. The old clock on the wall began to tick within an hour of him walking in the door. He fixed some of the leaks and did some minor repairs. He took his Mom the things she wanted with her. The rest she told him to take. Nobody else wanted to come and did not care. He is the youngest of 7 kids and the only one who calls his mom at least twice a week or more. We have Joes house now inside our house. He loaded the storage shed on the flatbed he took and filled it and brought it home. A pile of quilts and some old aprons made me smile. I love old aprons. The old chenille bathmat that Joe used as a little boy is now hanging on our tub. The clawfoot dresser that belonged to his grandparents has been reunited with the old iron bed she gave us 15 years ago.They are over 125 years old. Our friend Jody ( remember I told you about him, my ex from 1970-73 that I had the baby with that passed away when he was 2 weeks old) too much info you say? Ahh comon. Anyway, Jody and I are brother and sister and he and Joe are dear friends.I am drifting. Jody lives in Lubbock which is about 30 minutes from the town Joes mom lives. He drove over and helped Joe pack and load all day last Friday. I am using this story to give details of our lives here. It seems easier that way. I am walking through many piles of stuff this week. I hope to have time this week-end to get it all put away and cleaned up. And that brings me to tomorrow. I am not babaysitting any kids because I am going to be taking care of my ex husband after he has surgery. You couldn't ask for a better ex wife.LOL He is having gall bladder and gall bladder duct removed. They are doing it in a hospital 100 miles away. Our hospital is not where you go if you have a choice. He is terrified. His sister is taking him and bringing him back but there is nobody to stay with him. The kids have little kids and jobs and he will not let anyone take off work for him. He's weird. I told him I would do it and I guess that's what he was wanting but didn't want to ask. Joe and he are friends and Joe knows,gee there is not even a reason to say anything about me spending the night at his house. We are family and nothing more. I hope he will be fine by the next day so I can come home. Joes birthday is Saturday. Heather and I both had gall bladder surgery and aside from needing to sleep and take pain meds for a few days we were fine. So that's what I have been up to. Cady felt the baby kick night before last. She is 19 weeks now. Starting to show.She is so thin. Had to take her to the ER the night before the Texas trip. She couldn't catch her breath and her heart was racing. After 6 hours they said maybe she had plurosy. The next day her doctor called with results from the labwork that had been done the week before. She was very anemic.( if I am spelling everything wrong forgive me) Has to take iron pills. I looked up the symptoms and they are everything she told the docs in the ER. How did they miss that? I am all over her now. This is a typical post from me. Info scattered everyplace like a train wreck. I wish that I was an accomplished writer like some of you. I do keep up with all of you even though I cannot comment on most of you. My computer still just shuts down. Someday my husband will have the time to fix that for me. Till then, love you all.

Friday, March 06, 2009

It's Over!











Was I brave? Nope. I tried to be. I did not cry or anything like that. I preferred not to be told about the procedure. They almost laughed out loud at me. You have to hear it. The law or something. I found that I am still able to appear to be listening while completely blocking out every single word. What everyone told me about the numbing shot hurting the worst was pretty much the truth. But even so ,that was within the limits of what I could stand. Like it matters anyway. lol What sent me over the moon was after they put an IV on my wrist and a bp cuff that was cutting into my flesh on the other they put one of those oxygen things on my face. Not a mask but something that everyone at some point wears on All My Children. Part of it went around my ears and was too tight. I had issues with the part that went up my nose. That shit was so cold and they went so far up there. I freaked out and began trying to take it off but the nurses caught hold of me and wanted to know what was my problem. I really didn't know except that it had to come off right now. They felt I had a bit of claustrophobia. It was decided that I didn't have to keep it in my nose, my mouth would be just as well. I would have liked it if they had cleaned it off before shoving it in though. I'm lucky that way. The whole thing didn't take too long. I had to stay for a couple hrs after just to make sure there was no bleeding. They even fed me. I am ready for bed. The meds have worn off and I am feeling a bit wounded. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I hope the results are good. Have a good week-end everyone. Thank you for your kind words. You are special.

Thursday, March 05, 2009





































Last March just before Gages baby brother was born, my 40 hrs wkly babysitting ended. Jessie is at home with both boys and baby Jody is still nursing. He will be one year old on April 1. It was hard for me to keep up with Gage and I knew I needed to stop. Even so, I have missed him more than I can say. He was still here on week-ends because Joe and I and Gage couldn't handle him being gone cold turkey like that. The part that has been nice for me is that I can help my daughter Heather with her kids twice a week while she attends classes. She has just a couple more classes and she will be in the nursing program. She is working herself silly in chemistry right now. It would be fine if it weren't for the fact that she has a family to care for and lots of homework. In between I have started sewing and knitting again. Time I have not had since 1976. I have been working on my embroidery skills again too. I am so happy with how things are going with all my projects. Last month my 22 yr old daughter Sara, decided she wanted to go to beauty school. That's when I knew that one way or another I would end up with my granddaughter Madison. I warned Sara that I am in testing right now since it has only been since Nov that I have had insurance. At any time my Dr may tell me I cannot put off treatment any longer. This Monday was her first day of class. Tomorrow is my liver biopsy. Mad and I did great all week. To tell the truth I am happy to have this time with her. She is 3 going on 16. She needs grandma time. We painted and colored and made jello. I traced her hand and embroidered her print. It came out lovely.She goes to a christian pre school 3 days a week for 3 hrs a day. I have had someone sick since last Friday. I am blessed that I was never one of them. Joe, Heather, Natalie, Seth, Sara, Madison and now Cady. Sara and Maddie had the stomach flu on Saras second day of class. Joe and Cady have bad head colds. Joe is better now. Heathers dr thought she may have an ulcer and put her on Protonix. She started it today. Within an hour she began having an alergic reaction and had to call an ambulance. She called Jimmy and told him to hurry home as she was alone with the 2 little ones. She told 911 to please not run the siren and scare the kids to death. Jimmy got there in time to let all those folks in the door and calm Natalie. Poor Heather. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she was covered in red splotches. Her tongue had swollen and she couldn't catch her breath. She refused to go to the hospital. They told her just to take benadryl and keep track of her BP. By the time they left she was doing okay. All this has kept me from thinking about having that long needle stuck in my side tomorrow. To be honest, I am doing better than I expected. I have to do this so I may as well just get it over with. Besides, I read lots of blogs and this is so nothing compared to what some people deal with. Some of them small children. No, I got nothing to complain about. I got my house clean. To ward off any thinking I spent the evening baking chocolate chip cookies.I have a recipe that makes a large batch of the best moist cookies you ever ate. My grown kids all hit the cookie jar first thing when they come in the door. That and the fridge. Do you all do that? I love to have goodies waiting for them all. Also included pics of Cadys 17 week belly. I should have posted earlier shots. She is thin and had a totally flat tummy. Those days are over. We had an appt last monday with her o.b. We made her next appts with the midwife.She is the same one who delivered all but 2 of my other grandkids. She knows all of us and will let us all in the room with Cady. Cady asked my ex to be the step grandpa last week and he almost cried. She invited him to be there and in charge of pictures. He does a wonderful job. Joe and I will be busy sitting in the shower with her. Sara and I sat in there for most of her labor and it made all the difference. Okay, I can't put off going to bed any longer. I will take my camera and see if they let me snap a few in there. Good nite my friends. I am going to make a new handprint of Madison. I like the sewing I did but her hand looks way too big and her thumb,it looks weird I think. I am so picky.