Madison Saige

Sara spent her first and entire paycheck on these pictures. I love them. They make me cry. I love my grandchildren so much. Can you see the tattoos on her leg and arm? We decided not to take them out. Sara said,"that's my girl".

Gage signed up for the summer reading program at the library. He's is so happy. We checked out about 14 books. He loves books and cannot get enough.

Everybody Is Grillin

We had our big cook out yesterday. it was a fun and exciting day. I made a huge amount of potato salad. Heather and Jimmy made tons of everything else. My SIL makes fantatic salsa. Heather made a Paula Dean cabbage bacon barbeque sauce thing. Yummy. The little boys made choc cupcakes. And then there was that side of beef they grilled and roasted corn. It was wonderful. Right up until 6 police cars pulled up and took over the neighborhood. Then when the coroner came we pretty much had to go outside and check out the goings on. Heather and Jimmy have a big house in the older part of town. Last year the huge old house next door was bought and turned into a private halfway house. Oh joy. Heather and I called everyplace and found out that they can legally put one anyplace they want. So there. As it turned out the guys have been not too bad. They have done alot of work on the house. Except that Heather catches them hiding and drinking beer out in the ally(she runs out and takes it when they aren't looking) now and then or has to call the cops (3 days ago) when men take a pee in full view of her kitchen window.EEWWW! Sub sandwich in one hand and pitiful little winkie in the other. Yesterday they found the assistant manager dead in his apt. Don't know what happened. Pretty sad. Life is never dull around here.

My Lucky Day

While visiting my daughter Sara I asked to check out the spare room that still contains some of the old aunties sewing things and whatnot. Last month I was given a beautiful old lamp with roses and gold trim painted on. Today I came home with my favorite find in a while. A large lamp with cherubs painted on it. Oh, I know I have strange taste but I'm not the only one. Also. after reading one of my favorite blogs,(Frema) I got the idea from her to make a pizza. Okay, Frema made a healthy version. Mine is not. But I used what I had handy as we are about broke this week. I haven't made a pizza for a long time and lost my recipe for focaccia bread that I use as crust. I found another online and was happy to find that the new recipe was much easier and faster to make. I put green chili, green onion, pineapple,black olives and pepperoni on my pie. It was the best one I ever made. I guess that's why I ate 3 pieces and gave myself a tummy ache.

Not A Dry Eye In The House

This morning, my grandson Seth graduated from kindergarten. Even the teachers cried. They were so proud of themselves and sang so beautifully. It's hard to watch them grow up and move onto the next thing. This is the first year that the schools in town had an actual ceremony. They let you buy your cap and gown to keep if you wished. So, I guess it is official, summer is here. School is out. Can you hear Alice Cooper? Me too.

All You Need Is Love

Last night all 20 of us gathered in my house to have a little birthday for Heather. We can't fit here anymore. We are just exploding out of the livingroom. Kidz, everywhere and yelling and running and laughing. It was the first family gathering baby Jody has been to. It's also the first time my 2 sons have spoken or been in the same room for months due to an imagined slight. It is so nice that they are over it. Baby Jody is Joeys baby but the picture is Billy holding him for the first time. My ex was here too and all he and I had hoped for was our sons to be friends again.

You Know You Live In The Sticks When,

You tell your daughter to watch out for the pig running loose at the intersection by the old church. In the 17 years since we moved out here we have had several cows a few pigs and many horses running through or trapped in our back yard. It's fun I gotta tell ya.

Tomorrow is my girls birthday and here is my first try at this kind of card. It was so much fun. The more I make the better I will get. I got my ideas at An Altered Fairy Tale and Karlas Cottage. Both women are super talented and make beautiful things. Lots of things.

Oh Shit, It's Her Again

I wanted to post something everyday all week but never managed to do anything. My days start out early and I am full of energy until noon and then I cave in and that's all she wrote. When I have alot to do sometimes I get overwhelmed and do nothing. I hate that. I drop Cady off at school by 8:15 and then go tan. When I am finished I run over tho Heathers (my oldest daughter and best friend) and I stay with Natalie while Heather tans. Cady and Heather each got me a month of tanning for Mothers Day. I haven't done that for 8 years. It's nice to have a tan for a change. Driving in the morning is hard for me. If ever I should get into any trouble with the law it will be in the morning. It's like driving a gauntlet to get from the school to the tanning salon. It's a whole 2 miles. People pull out in front of me and cut me off or race to pass me so they can drive 15 in a 35 mph zone. One day I will chase them down pull them from their vehicle and beat them to the ground with my pink purse. People in this town are terrible drivers. And then there are those with terrible morning tempers. But after a nice cup o coffee, all is right with the world. Today when I got home I finally cleaned out my toilet/planter and planted pink and purple petunias in it. They are beautiful. I even washed the muddy paw prints from the white front door. I have given up trying with the dogs. It's best to just clean around them. Instead of spending 30-40 minutes on poop patrol once every 10 days, I clean it every day sometimes twice. It is amazing how easy it is to keep it poop free. I am pretty sure the 3 legged wonder pup is feeling let down. He loved running thru poo. Tomorrow is our churches 20 yr anniv. We are having a big party. I said I would bake cupcakes and cheesecake. Well, I feel asleep. I got the cupcakes made and thats it. Joe and I spent hrs( okay, mostly Joe) going through hundreds of pictures I have taken over the years to make a slide show. I had no idea I had taken so many. Cady brought home a motherless kitten last night and it was so pitiful. She had to bottle feed it. It is skin and bones. We are not having another cat but she can foster this baby for a while to get it on its little feet. Our big Ridgeback(Duke) loves kittens. He would mother it if he could. The other 2 would eat it if they could. Duke took a big lick on the baby before we left for town today and he really could have swallowed it whole. We don't have it tonight but Cady will bring it back tomorrow and I will snap a few with Duke. Joe and Cady are home, gotta run.Oh, The picture is Heather and I a very long time ago. She's gonna be 32 yrs old next Tuesday. Oh gee, how is that possible?

Happy Mothers Day

It's not midnight yet so I can still call it Mothers Day. I hope all of you had a happy day. Mine was just right. While getting ready for church the phone rang so many times I ended up being late. I have to say that I felt so loved. All my kids called. Heather and Jimmy took the kids to Albq. for a special soccer tournament that Christian was in. I opened her card and gift last night at 2AM. I was up late making decorations for the flowers I potted up for all the girls. I got a tad carried away I guess. I made a few cards and had a great time. Heather made me cry. She gave me a Dumbo. He was my favorite ride at Disneyland when I was little. She remembered. Cady didn't go to church with us as she was feeling ill. She's better now. Joe took me to lunch and to deliver all the petunias I had for the girls. They are so pretty. I picked bright pink and purple. On his final visit to me, my dad brought me alot of pretty clay pots. I planted the flowers in them. Joey came over tonight and brought me a big aloe vera plant and some very sweet cards from him and Jess and the little boys. My favorite gift of the whole day is cuddled up behind me in my bed. When Joey got ready to go home Gage came running from Grandpas lap into the livingroom and onto my lap. His lower lip hanging out all sad and pouty."Grandma, I want to stay with you and Grandpa". He put his little arms around my neck and got real small. I asked his daddy if he could stay. At first he said no. He quickly changed his mind and Gage gave him a fast kiss and ran back to Grandpas lap. Gage went to the little shelf where his books are kept and picked a few for Grandpa to read. It was so sweet to listen to Joe reading The Little Mermaid to Gage. Later Gage came in here and got in bed. I laid down with him and rubbed his back and we sang The Babe Song. It's been a while and he almost didn't remember it anymore. He used to beg me to sing it to him every day. He would fall asleep singing that song. Joe came in here and read him one last story and he fell fast asleep. I am so blessed to have all my grandkids living in the same town. I sure do love waking up to a small voice saying "I love you grandma" and then giving me a big hug and a kiss. This is always followed with a plea for breakfast. I have a wonderful husband who does not mind sleeping on the couch so that Gage can sleep with me. I don't get much sleep what with feet in my neck and all. I wouldn't trade these times for anything.

I Believe, i really do too

For a while I was getting to sew and make a few things. it made me happy. I have lost all my time to other things and need to find my way back. I have found some of the most lovely ideas from some amazing blogs for making my own cards and other pretty things. I am going to spend tomorrow making Mothers Day cards for all my girls. I save everything and have alot of craft items. I collect lots of vintage items that will look so pretty on a card. I found a box with some of my old faery cards and if I can bring myself to cut into them I may use them too. I have collected all things Faery since I was a little girl. Some of it was lost in a storage shed divorce mess but I still have lots. My husband is nice to let me decorate the house in doilies and faery pictures and girly stuff. Long as he gets fed it's all good.

Better or Worse, I Don't KNow

Cady has had a good few days. I was feeling pretty good about that until she told me that Sergio and her were both in the hall on the way to library and he gave her a kiss as he went by. Hmmm, I think he's really screwing with her head. He likes the power of it all. The week-end is comin up and we shall see. He spends his time with his buddies all week-end . I just hope that she's goning to get mad and tell him to take a hike. I have spent the last few nights at grandkid activities. I will try to post pics. Seth and Jaylon are in baseball. My son Billy(Jaylons dad) and son in law Jimmy(Seths dad) are coaches. I have to tell you that seeing my son out there coaching those kids makes me so proud. He coaches soccer, basketball and baseball. He has turned out to be a wonderful husband and father and human being. I love him. He's givin up cage fighting for now and I am glad. He's put on some weight and looks great. Christian had a band concert Tuesday night and got an award. Our family is pretty big and the roar when his name was called was loud. Seth had a spring concert too. He is graduating from kindergarten in a couple of weeks. It's hard to watch the little guys and not cry. There they go, growing up and moving on. I need to cook dinner. Thank you all for the concern about Cady. It is nice to see how many people care.

My Sweety Pie

I know that soon things will turn around for Cady. If she notices that I am blogging about this things may not be too good for me. She knows I don't have lots of people here but still. Even though most of my family is aware that I blog and put pictures of them and the kids on here, they don't seek me out. They have lives and forget about this sort of thing. That's how I want it. I am not going to write and feel that feeling of my family looking over my shoulder. Not a problem. Sara began her job last week and had a rough few days. On Saturday Cady and I went in and bought a few things just so she coyuld ring us up and get some experience on people she knew. Her little hands were shaking. It made me want to cry. Since she had tears in her eyes already I held mine back. Since I have been loosing weight for about 6 months I have nothing that fits. I had winter clothes but no summer things. Buying that top from Sara was a good thing. Everyone at church thought I had lost a bunch over night just by wearing clothes that were not 2 sizes too big.Cady bought me a month of tanning for Mothers Day and it is nice. I have been going for 2 weeks and I am dark. Fat looks much better when brown. I am so happy to finally see a change in my fatness. I think I have lost about 45-50 lbs since last summer. I drink gallons of water and eat half portions. I seem to be just fine and not hungry at all. I also live on oranges. I am going to mess that all up by baking cupcakes right now. I gotta have a sweet thing now and then. I try to pass them out to everyone so as not to have too many calling my name. When I took Cady to school this morning she was fine until she saw HIM. She burst into tears. I just kept driving and I could see HIM looking at us in wonder. "Hey, drop her off so she can kiss my ass and make me feel powerful and great". Piss on the little shit. In the end she had me take her back. She walked right by him and went to the doors. She called me to tell me to go ahead and leave. But hell, she was really sobbing and I could not go. She calmed down and I did go. I don't know if she will make it all day. I told her to call me if she needs me. We live out of town and it takes me 15 minutes to get there but I will pick her up if she calls me. Everytime she gets okay with this he pulls her back in. I hope he stops this before I get ugly. Crap, I knew this whole boy thing would come to this. It always does. We were on such a lucky roll with Cady. She had no boyfriend until she was 16. Half the girls in school have 2 kids by that age. I knew our luck would eventually run out.

There Goes My Baby

So, I thought I would post a picture of my Cadys object of affection. Plus some pictures of my girl. I will be so glad when this is but a distant memory. She does not believe me when I tell her that in time the pain will be gone and she will be happy.

Cady Update

Because I have a sick sense of humor. Because I knew I could make her laugh if I went far enough. I thought for a while and came up with something stupid enough and she did laugh. Me, holding a hairbrush (mic) and loud youtube playing Adam Sandlers version of "Love Stinks".She couldn't help it. She had to laugh. At no extra charge I threw in me singing Adam singing "Somebody Kill Me Please". I took out Linda and inserted Sergio. She's asleep now. She feels a bit better and just maybe she will make it through this ugly time of her life. That and the fact that a guy friend of hers took her out just cruising last night. She's not interested in this guy but I guess the Serg found out and didn't like it. I think this is going to drag on for a bit still. At least he didn't leave her for another girl. He left her for his car and a few very overweight guys all squeezed inside that car. Sounds so teen doesn't it? Now that I am back on my own computer I feel I must post a picture of the heartbreaker. They are so unmatched. He will someday kick himself for letting this girl go. It's not just that she is very pretty on the outside. She is a sweet girl. She has no clue that she is pretty at all. She is also one of a very small and getting smaller every day group. She remains at 17 1/2 ,still intact. I am proud of her. She has paid attention and read up on diseases and feels she would rather not have any. This is my last baby folks. She went to a charter school in 6th grade and it ended up being shut down. They learned nothing much that yr. We held her back and so she will be in school an extra year. Thank God. I am not ready to let her go. It went by too fast. I still remember the last time I could carry her from my bed to hers and cried all the way. She was too long and heavy and I knew I couldn't ever lift her again. I always carried all my kids around for as long as I could. I want my babies back. I guess I do in a way. My grandkids are here alot. Gage spent the night. He sleeps in bed with me and Joe has the couch. He loves church. Grandpa plays the drums and now Gage stands in the isle and as soon as he hears the Amen he makes a dash for the stage and grandpa. He is well loved by everyone and has become a little star. He gets to play the bass drum and keeps in time with G-pa pretty well. Even with all the mini dramas going on, I know my family is my greatest blessing.

Boyz, Ugh

You expect to feel your childs pain when they fall off their bike or when they get picked on in school. Nobody tells you how much it hurts you when some boy breaks your daughters heart. My sweet little Cady, she is not a crier. She will hide her tears from everyone. This boy, Sergio, he made her cry. She loves him so much it kills me. He got his first car and really just wants to spend his time cruising with his buddies and has no time for Cady. When he passed by she and I last night she went to pieces. She is still crying. She actually got sick to her stomach. She had a terrible headache last night and could not sleep. I finally talked her into half of one of my pain pills and she must have dozed off. I have talked till I am blue in the face. She thinks I cannot understand. Most all women have gone through this at least once. It may seem like the end of the world but sometimes it's just the beginning of a new life. I got her to agree not to go babysit for his big sister tonight. They like her but she's being used. If they are too poor to pay a sitter then they need to stay home. She is only going in hopes Sergio will come by. She knows he will not. She is torturing herself. When she saw me crying she promised she would cancel the babysitting. My heart hurts for her. I would gladly take this pain from her if only I could. In the end it will be a learning experience but for today it is just plain old heartache. The way we feel about our children does not change one little bit from birth to adulthood. No matter how old they are they are still our babies. We will always want to kiss it and make it all better.

This Is

The day 26 years ago that I (5 months pregnant with Joey) came running down the hall of the nursing home, praying I was gonna make it. It was like in a movie. The hall seemed to get 100 miles long. The faster I ran the slower I moved. A group of Drs and nurses ahead of me in the hall all turned and stared at me. Their faces told me I was too late. I have never got used to her being gone. I still find myself wanting to Ask Mom about that or get a recipe from her. It's great for that split second to feel like she is still here. Her funeral was the day before Mothers Day. Being pregnant with baby # 3 and saying good bye to my Moma and then dealing with Mothers Day was more than I could take. Since that day I have always found Mothers Day to be not good. I have lots of children who made it better by making me the sweetest of gifts at school. Those are the best gifts you will ever recieve. I have all of them still. I know that I am very blessed and I know that everyone has to deal with this loss someday. I just wish I could have had her longer. She was only 52 yrs old. I love you Moma. xoxoxox