My Sweety Pie

I know that soon things will turn around for Cady. If she notices that I am blogging about this things may not be too good for me. She knows I don't have lots of people here but still. Even though most of my family is aware that I blog and put pictures of them and the kids on here, they don't seek me out. They have lives and forget about this sort of thing. That's how I want it. I am not going to write and feel that feeling of my family looking over my shoulder. Not a problem. Sara began her job last week and had a rough few days. On Saturday Cady and I went in and bought a few things just so she coyuld ring us up and get some experience on people she knew. Her little hands were shaking. It made me want to cry. Since she had tears in her eyes already I held mine back. Since I have been loosing weight for about 6 months I have nothing that fits. I had winter clothes but no summer things. Buying that top from Sara was a good thing. Everyone at church thought I had lost a bunch over night just by wearing clothes that were not 2 sizes too big.Cady bought me a month of tanning for Mothers Day and it is nice. I have been going for 2 weeks and I am dark. Fat looks much better when brown. I am so happy to finally see a change in my fatness. I think I have lost about 45-50 lbs since last summer. I drink gallons of water and eat half portions. I seem to be just fine and not hungry at all. I also live on oranges. I am going to mess that all up by baking cupcakes right now. I gotta have a sweet thing now and then. I try to pass them out to everyone so as not to have too many calling my name. When I took Cady to school this morning she was fine until she saw HIM. She burst into tears. I just kept driving and I could see HIM looking at us in wonder. "Hey, drop her off so she can kiss my ass and make me feel powerful and great". Piss on the little shit. In the end she had me take her back. She walked right by him and went to the doors. She called me to tell me to go ahead and leave. But hell, she was really sobbing and I could not go. She calmed down and I did go. I don't know if she will make it all day. I told her to call me if she needs me. We live out of town and it takes me 15 minutes to get there but I will pick her up if she calls me. Everytime she gets okay with this he pulls her back in. I hope he stops this before I get ugly. Crap, I knew this whole boy thing would come to this. It always does. We were on such a lucky roll with Cady. She had no boyfriend until she was 16. Half the girls in school have 2 kids by that age. I knew our luck would eventually run out.