I Take It Back

I was feeling all Martha Stewart last night. That feeling is nowhere to be found today. I don't know what I was thinking. Making everything from scratch, ugh! I have no choice now I have to make the damn pie crusts but my heart is not in it. Oh I thought I was so Suzy Homemaker didn't I? Suzy already got 2 more splinters in her hand and finger from hauling wood for the fire. One new burn on my arm to match the one I got Monday by lifting my arm up before it was out of the woodstove. I want my mom. I did find that lime jello receipe though. Do people know how much work women go to for holiday feasts?

Wide Awake And Sweaty

Sounds delightful eh? I would like to be sleeping at this hour but it seems my body has finally noticed that it is no longer getting a daily dose of hormone replacement pills. If not for my big blood pressure scare recently that got me reading about what a stroke can do to me, well I would be stuffing those little pills down my throat right now. Really, I would rather deal with hotflashes than a stroke. The hotflashes are like labor pains, they are coming closer together each night. I get about 30 minutes and another comes along. I know I could have lots more to deal with so I will shut up.
I am in the kitchen all day tomorrow. I decided not to buy any pre made anything this year except Mrs Cubbisons cornbread stuffing bread crumbs. I love that stuff. I hate Stove Top. My kids won't eat it. I am making pie crusts too. I never used to buy pre made but with 5 kids one day I decided to give myself a break. Nobody likes the store bought crust so since I only have to bake 2 pies I thought I would go ahead and make the damn dough mess all over the table. Pumpkin and pecan this year. Joe asked for refrigerator potato yeast rolls. (geez, what a mouthful) I am looking for a good jello thing to make too. There was one made with lime jello and cottage cheese and pecans with pineapple. Thats all I know about it. I loved it 20 years ago. Anyone have that receipe? I am making everything ahead of time that I can. This is the only year my family will not be together. Everyone had to go to the other grandparents house . I have to share. But they will all be over. They only like my food. So I will make enough for them to eat later. Sara is cooking her first turkey this year so I will be on the phone with her off and on all day. Heather too. Joe and I invited my friend Debra and her husband to eat with us. She is a potter and also makes soap and beautiful hand made paper. She's a riot and we will have alot of fun and laugh alot. Oh how I look forward to laughing. This has been a stressed week and it's only Wednesday. I hope all of you have a happy day with loved ones and eat too much and laugh alot too. God Bless, deb

Beware The Pain Pill

After many months of complaining and crying and whining and making others around me want to flee to the hills I was blessed with pain meds. This blessing has two faces. One lets you forget your aches and pains and get on with living and working. Baking and hanging laundry out in the wonderful fall smelling yard. I shoveled poop and enjoyed just being outside. I sewed a lovely fleece blanket for baby Jody and made plans for more for the little ones for Christmas. The only time I sat down was to watch my beloved "House" on TV. The "House" marathon was the 2nd best thing about election day. I wander do I not?
So back to the subject,I totally enjoyed my busy week-end. I woke up last night in a great deal of pain. Yes, you see where I am going don't you? Pain serves a purpose. Without it we tend to forget to take it easy. I had to hold the walls just to make it down the hall to the potty. Joe told me all day to chill out but I just laughed at him. I was living again. Doing the simple chores that had become dreaded and seemed to take forever to complete. Our house is old and needs many repairs. The ceiling is just awful. The old wood floors need to be stripped and redone. If you do not make a fire you will get very cold since there is not really a heater.( the one there is heats the hall and nothing else,I give permission to use it only when little ones are here and are fresh from the tub) Even so, as I turned off the last light late last night ,I stood in the hall and admired all the work I had done and all the sweet old things that cover every flat surface. I felt blessed beyond measure. My old house needed me to clean and bring out the fall decorations and light the pumpkin cinnamon candles. It wanted to smell like the kids all love it to. I will have to keep myself in check and not overdo again. But this one time it was so worth it.

Where Did The Time Go?

I never intended to stay gone for so long. Lots been going on and I read all of you but I never write. Spent the night at my daughter Heather's house with the boys last week. Her husband had to have the 2nd part of the surgery on his ear to restore hearing. She took the baby Natalie (Natalie and Maddie are going to be 3 in Dec and Jan but they are babies to me) with her and sister Sara and Madison went along so that Heather could be at the hospital with Jimmy. I love being with my grandkids so this was great. Christian is 13 now and it is still hard to believe. He is the oldest grandchild. Seth is 7 . Getting off the subject again. Jimmy is fine and will be finding out next week how much hearing is coming back. Went to my Dr appt on Friday to hear the results of all the testing I had done the week before. I was pretty scared I gotta tell you. What if nothing showed up on the MRI about my back? I had so many people tell me that they had even gone through surgery for back pain and they never could find anything on the MRI that pointed out the exact problem. As it turned out that wasn't the case with my MRI. It showed plenty of problems. It was strange. I was scared when before she told me what was wrong, my Dr told me she was sorry about my back. We didn't get to talk that much about the back because my blood pressure was very high and she needed to get that down first. I am not sure about what is good and bad but I do know that 200/109 was not too good. She made me lie down and take some meds and call my daughter to come pick me up. She gave me a short while and if my BP didn't come down I had to go to the hospital. It did and so I didn't have to go to the dreaded place. Sara came to fetch me home. We had to go to Walmart to fill a script for clonidine and pain meds. And we stood in line for 45 minutes. She is going to send me to physical therapy and my hope is to be able to come off pain meds at some point in time. I know that just having them for the last few days has changed my life. I still hurt some but that's okay. It is not what it was. Since we did not get to talk much about what the terms on the MRI sheet meant I will just give you a few words in case you are interested. She was more concerned with the Bp and will meet with me next week to go over that and the bloodwork results that were not in yet. Displaced S1 nerve root,paracentral disc protrusion,large central annular tear and protrusion , arthritis- ahh hell, there is no point in listing more. I have no clue what it all means but I will next week. I could sit here and look it all up and probably will later tonight. Just spent all day Fri and Sat sleeping like Dr told me to. I found that when the Dr tells you to be lazy and do nothing there is no guilt. That doesn't apply today. I have to get laundry done so I will get going. Have a wonderful Sunday my sweet friends. P.S. It's been a few hours since I posted this. I feel strange telling all of this. I want you to know that I realize I am blessed that this is all I am dealing with. Some people have it so much worse than I ever will.

Home

Tonight Joe made our first fire of the winter. I had to move all the pretties I had on top of the woodstove and I hated to see them go. But I loved the smell of that fire. Our house is old and not insulated all that well. When it gets cold it isn't kidding around. In between cleaning and laundry I managed to sit cuddled up on the couch with my Joe and eat popcorn and enjoy home together. He works all the time. He never gets home from work and plops on the couch. He goes right out the back door and finds something that needs doing. In an old house you don't have to look very far. I have not been feeling well for some time now and he never complains that his laundry is not done. He will wash it himself if I don't manage it. He will help with dinner if I ask. So will Cady for that matter. Tonight I felt better due to my Dr ordering the tests I have needed for one year and also gave me a limited supply of pain meds till the results are in. I did not get the tests due to no insurance. Now I have it and I am having a total overhaul. With little pain to deal with I was up and running for the last 4 days. The housework is caught up and I feel like a real wife and mom again. I felt so bad not helping and always dragging around. I never knew how good I felt until I felt bad. I am hoping for physical therapy. My results will all be in next Friday. Please say a prayer for me. I am a bit frightened about what I will hear next week. Have a great Sunday my dear friends.