Weddings and Painkillers and Thankfulness

It's been a while since I posted. I guess you figured that out. I was either busy looking up ideas for the wedding or making little decorations for the tables. I am so glad it all turned out lovely cuz as hard as I worked I would have been heart broken. I noted that after putting in many many hours of work I began to forget that it wasn't my day and it wasn't about me. Okay, just being honest. The brides family gave me great concern since they offered no help. Then 2 days before the wedding they popped into the church and began to help. We worked together for many hours. I do not know why they held back till then. I do not know why her Mom never mentioned to me that she was making tons of food. I don't care, it all worked out in the end. What I love 2nd best is that I no longer feel mean and ugly towards her Mom. She finally made her girl feel loved and important and thats what counts. We ended up with over 100 people. My ex got a new video camera that week and went a bit nuts with the taking of pics. I think had the photographer not been my ex-husbands oldest friend he may have asked him to cool it a bit. The ex was doing movies and the photog was doing the stills and Billy(ex) was kinda in the way of lots of good shots. But, I don't care. It's over and it was one of the prettiest weddings we have had at the church. Not due to me. A wonderful woman named Linda answered my plea for help and took over and had such good ideas.

I spent 1 of the 3 weeks prior to the wedding in horrible pain due to that stupid sciatic nerve thing that has been dogging me for a few months. I looked like Quasimoto.(if i spelled that wrong ,oh hell)I had to drag one leg and everyone had to hear the boring moaning. During the last 2 weeks I was given pain pills by several people. I had valium,vicodin, and hydrocodone . I have nothing but nurses in my family so don't think I was uninformed about how and when I could and could not take those meds. I ran out of everything last wed and thought it would be no biggie. After much running around the mall in Las Cruces and taking poor Joe(hubby) to the oral surgeon while there I could not take the pain. It was blizzarding when we got home that night and I finally broke down and went to the walk in clinic. It was Wednesday night. When asked on a scale of 1 to 10 to describe my pain I only needed to tell the nurses that I came out in a blizzard and I am missing "Lost". They totally understood. Was honest with the dr and told her I had been taking other peoples pain meds and needed to be able to walk and work on that wedding . I didn't care what happened to me on Sunday but I need the pain to be gone for the next 3 days. I explained what I won't take. Anything that will make me sleepy. She gave me meds for 3 days and sent her blessings to the bride and groom. I have an appt to see the chiropractor tomorrow and hope he can help me. Taking all those pain meds brings back bad memories for me.I want to feel good for real. No fake temp feeling.

Watching all the news about Anna Nicole has made me very sad. She needed help. You can't force help on anyone. If the chiropractor can't make my pain go away I know he can make it less.It's less right now with no meds at all. Thats good enough for me. Pain is a strange thing. It makes you think crazy. Last week there was almost nothing I would not do to escape it. MY BP was 184/109. My pain is much less now with no meds and my Bp is 145/83. Much better.I had to double my dose of bp meds but thats cool. I am going to try to take better care of me. This was supposed to be about the wedding. I had alot to share and was feeling guilty over all the meds I think. Thanks for being here for me.