Counting The Cars On The New Jersey Turnpike

Today was almost a nice day. It seemed like a good day.Cloudy,snowing and cold. It's been so many years since we had winter it is wonderful.I am listening to The Best Of Simon And Garfunkle.Cady,lately it's always my Cady who gives me grief. A letter from her english teacher saying that shes been late to class twice. Not coming prepared ect. She is the sweetest out of my 5 kids,she has no reason to be doing bad at school. There were times in the past when things around here were bad. To handle it mom(that would be me) was drinking at night.Crying all the time,never mind,long story. Things are good now and have been for a long while. Joe and I try so hard to be good and attentive parents. We are able to give her things we never could give the others. My ex never paid support and we were pretty poor back then.. We do lots of family things,we try to talk with her. I know its the dreaded teen years. But I really thought this time it was going to be different. I have a bad problem with depression. It takes so little to set me off. Today I just want to drive away and not come home. Spent the last hour on hands and knees scrubbing my hardwood floors. I only got a small spot done but it looks nice. Is it selfish to want your life to be peaceful? I just want to be happy for a while. I have spent too many years being sad and afraid,I want peace now and I am willing to hurt others to get that peace damn it!Okay,,kidding here. Having one of those cry baby days I guess.