Thomas

Joe and I went to a funeral today. Thomas was only 31 yrs old. Husband and father of 2 little girls. He was a fireman. He took ill at work after a call 3 weeks ago. He was born with no spleen and had always had to deal with the problams it caused. Still, it was a shock. He grew up with my kids out here in La Luz. My daughter Heather dated him about 9 yrs ago. The kids called themselves "The La Luz Crew". La Luz isn't even big enough to be a town. We are a village. We like it. The funeral had to be held in Alamogordo due to the large crowd expected to attend. Thomas was one of those people that you don't meet everyday. He was a nurturer and a kind human being. He rode a Harley. His Harley buddies showed up and rode in the procession. He was a fireman and every firestation in and around Otero County had most of their trucks show up. I am guessing that maybe 20 fire engines and more water trucks and EMS trucks were there. Before becoming a fireman he worked for the city of Alamogordo. After the funeral, his casket was loaded up on the biggest firetruck covered with the flag and lead the largest procession ever to be seen in our town, out to La Luz. It was the saddest funeral I have ever attended. His young widow and 2 small girls could be heard weeping throughout the service. The procession was amazing. Joe and I were in the center. As far as my eyes could see ahead of us and behind us were cars and more cars. All to honor this young man, this decent person. I think it was several miles long. As we drove through Alamogordo ,all the city workers that we passed, stopped work, removed their hard hats,put them under their arms and bowed their heads. Why am I telling this long tale? I need to. I was so touched by the outpouring of love and respect and the incredible grief and sadness, i want to share this I guess. La Luz is tiny, the Catholic cemetery is also small. La Luz came to a halt. People had to park and walk in from blocks away. When all had gathered the bagpiper began to play "Amazing Grace". Then we all heard a pager go off very loud. It is the firemans last honor. It was Thomas last call. His name was called and a brief eulogy given. I guess thats when everyone fell out. His poor widow and Mom and girls were sobbing so sadly that to hear them was painful. Finally people put flowers on the casket and began to make their way out. Most still stood there as if in shock. We could not seem to move. I had to ask Joe if we could please leave. It was a wall of sad that I have never experienced. I don't want to ever again. It was the wanting to comfort people whose hearts where breaking and the knowing you could do nothing to ease that pain. I hated for the little girls to see their Moma like that. They were so afraid. My pastor was there. His daughter too. Her husband was also a firefighter and my pastor too. It's a small town and everyone is connected. The 4 of us stopped on the road and prayed for the family. It made me feel a little better. I haven't been at church much lately. Last Sun was the first time in 4-5 weeks. Sometimes church is too much for me. Sometimes I go it on my own. Oh, not without God, just without church. Maybe I am ready to go back. I don't know yet. I always have so many questions. Anyhow, this room is making me get a headache. Thanks for being here, I knew I could talk to you.