TO BLOG OR NOT

All this week I have wanted to sit here and talk to myself about how things are going.The reason I didn't was I could never think of anything that seemed worthy of putting here.Actually this was a bad week for me.I really can't keep up with my almost 2 yr old grandson that I keep from 8am till 5pm Mon-Fri.I stopped taking my blood pressure meds so I could stay awake and take care of him.It doesn't make any difference anymore,,for 6 weeks I have been catching myself falling asleep off and on during the day.He hates me to conk out on him and always yells "GRANDMA!!!". I wake right up. I think the longest I ever slept was maybe 4 minutes. It is not good.I feel like a bad grandma.I need to talk to my ex-husband about helping me like he's supposed to be doing.There is no good childcare in our little crumby town.Unless you can afford to pay 200.00 a wk.I have to get better. Dr is of no help whatsoever.I hate wasting time and money on them. Although,,when I finally have that stroke,I am sure I will change my thinking on that. Things that made me happy this week:rain and lots of it(was not happy to find 3 new leaks in the roof)everything is green like it was in the old days before the summer monsoons stopped coming.CHILI SEASON IS FINALLY HERE!!!Tis tradition in New Mexico to have all your friends over to roast pounds and pounds of green chili.We make a fire in the pit by the creek,bring out some wine,pull up some chairs and eat chili right off the grill with lots of tillamook cheese. There is nothing in this world like the smell of roasting chili.The smell will fill the air until the first freeze in Oct.We all make certain that we have enough chili roasted and frozen to make it all year.If you don't,you have to beg it from your friends.This is how you find out who your friends really are. Sunday I will make at least 30 chili rellenos.Its just as much trouble to make 50 as it is to make 10. Easy but a big mess.I think I feel better now. Didn't have much to say, Hey,how bout that Mel Gibson? Hate to be him right now. Not good.What happened to peace and love? I miss those days.