mamarazzi

2010-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

While reading a favorite blog this morning I came upon a band I have never heard of. The Avett Bros. They have stolen my heart. I can't stop singing the 2 songs I memorized. Peaceful old time tunes. I need a change. Peaceful would be a good way to go. My life has not been my own of late. My kids need me it seems. I think things are slowing down now and maybe I can sew again. Almost have that tied quilt for Bells finished. Did I tell you that she is walking? She's about to drive us crazy. Into everything now. You gotta be fast and pay attention or she's gone. I have loved this past year of having that baby girl in the house. When it comes to grandkids I am very blessed indeed. Natalie began her first day at pre school today. Heather called my crying. Natalie has never been away from her unless it was with me. Since she starts kindergarten next year Heather wanted to get her ready to be away from mama. Natalie did fine but mama not so much. Natalie is a very sweet child. She has no idea how to be mean or stand up for herself. Hoping she falls in with other sweet girls. Girls are not known for being sweet.
Since Joe put up my new clothesline I have enjoyed laundry in a new way. The goats have had to be locked up as they were spending too much time tasting my clothes.
Looks like time to get some wood put up for winter. Hot as it is, summer is coming to an end. Thank God. This has been a hot one. It sucks the life right out of me. I always thing about the people in the old days and how they must have suffered. I complain if the air conditioner cannot blow cold due to the rain caused humidity. Swamp coolers, that's what we use in New Mexico. Heavy on the word "swamp". I have lost interest in my farm on FB. It's so odd the way people are having a fit and trying to get me back. It's over. I loved it when I loved it and now it's over between us. I have become much more interested in the world of orphans. Praying for Molly to have an easy time getting her baby from Africa. I think it's never easy to grow your family no matter what way it happens. Maybe it never should be. It has to mean so much for you to hang on through the rough times. I know that God is watching over that baby and it's mama and keeping them safe until the time is just right. It's the most exciting thing. It is so hard to realize that the world has so many children in so much need when I sit here at my desk in my little house. I am all over the place today and that's okay. I'm no writer. Just a mom/grandma. Trying to be a better person one step at a time.

Today

2010-08-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

Today I am happy that I have kids coming out my ears. I am blessed that they all want to stay over night with grampa and I. I love the way my house sounds right now. Yelling and running and someone singing. I never want a quiet house.

um, facebook took over my life

2010-07-10T02:41:00.000-07:00

I'm takin it back. Really. I miss it here. Need to post pics of the family and oh my, Bella is almost a year old. How can that be?

Spring is Here

2010-04-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am taking back the yard from my husband. His trash has taken over. Just talking about it with the kids makes me burst into tears. I think I will actually take a few pics and just let you see for yourselves. I used to take it back every year until my back problems began a few years ago. My dad used to come once a year and Joe had to clean up before each visit. My dad passed away 4 years ago and since then it's been piling up. I am cleaning the back porch today so I can at least hang laundry without getting into a fight with him. I will attack the front porch soon too. Yippie for me!

I Think It is Sunshine

2010-03-13T14:44:00.000-08:00

Yep, it is the good ol sun. Spring is on the way and I have the kitchen door wide open and we can hear the goats talking to us. Hoping to have a garden if Joe can put the dogs someplace else. Bella is loving being outside in her swing. This has been a long cold winter and we are all glad to see it come to an end. I am sure we are not done yet but soon. We could be plodding through the snow next week who knows. I need to prune the trees for sure. Joe needs to burn the trash. All those fun outdoor tasks we can do again. I need out of the house. Tomorrow is Seths last motorcycle race. he may be getting a first place trophy. He has done so well for his first year. Getting ready to go for a walk Opps, just broke my keyboard.

Let me Outa here!

2010-02-22T16:20:00.000-08:00

I am certain I am going crazy. I just want a moment to me. nevermind, cannot even write

Goofy Babyface

2010-01-31T23:04:00.000-08:00

Since the 3 pics I posted of baby B are all with that razzberry look I better post a cute one or 3. She had just learned how to put her tongue there and blow and make that funny sound and look. Plus she was tasting G-pa's coffee. She found a drop on the lid and lapped it up. She's a coffee kid already.

FaceBook Must Die!

2010-01-31T22:22:00.000-08:00

I have developed a real problem. It's called Farmville. I love my little farm and want to live there. Really I do. No junk in the yard, no destroyed yard thanks to damn dogs. Just peace and order. One thing that is not there is a place to write my true thoughts. My entire family is on there and only a few of them don't hold a grudge or have some old issues with me. It truely makes my heart ache that some of my kids treat me the way they do. 21 or so yrs ago I left their dad. The way I left was not good. I ran away in the night during a rain storm. I was at the end of my rope and went crazy. After much pain and suffering we all friends now. (the ex and me) Maybe I am not ready to talk about this. Nope, not.
Tonight the Grammys were on. I loved seeing Leon Russell. I went to a concert many years ago at UNM-Albuquerque. It was so cool. My friend was a D.J. at the college and got us tickets up close. We sat cross legged on the floor next to his piano. He plays a wicked keyboard.I loved that Taylor Swift won so many grammys. She is a doll in my opinion. The Michael Jackson tribute that required the use of 3-D glasses was wonderful but the glasses were not. Maybe you had to be there. My glasses picked up nothing much of a 3-D nature. Tomorrow is another Las Cruces to my Dr for pain meds. Getting old I must say. But then again pain sucks. I have become so unmotivated for the last 4 weeks I am sick of myself. I am going to start volunteering at the "Shroud" exhibit next week. Maybe that will get me going. it is really interesting and I feel amazing when I am in it's presence. It is only a copy but it gives me chills. Isabella is growing so fast/ She is still the happiest baby I ever saw. She has yet to really bust out and throw a screaming fit. Cady is still home with us and we are very glad. She is a very nice person and I don't know what I would do without her. We have our fights but it's still okay. I am so ready for spring this year. We are always cold. Cady is home and I must go. Will post some Bella pics and whatever else I can come up with. I have missed you al. I still read all of you and am thankful you are not like me about that.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

It seems I have run away and now reside at Facebook but that's not true. It just seems that way. Facebook is not very fulfilling for me as my entire family is there and I cannot place any real thoughts there. I am lazy that's all. I still read all of you. I love to read all of you. Today is our anniversary. I have no idea how many years we have been married. Well I do have an idea. Our daughter was about 1 yr old so maybe it is 18 years. Joe and I have been together since New Years 1988. We got married by the fire, next to the Christmas tree in front of 30 of our friends.
I hope you all had a wonderful Xmas. Cady and I were up till 4:30 AM wrapping presents. Now that she is a mom she got to help. I fell asleep at 5 and got up at 7 to sew 2 baby doll blankets for my granddaughters. Made for a very groggy day. That night Joe and I went to see Sherlock Holmes but it was sold out. We saw "Up In The Air" instead. Joe said it was okay but not great. I slept through it all. Will post pics later tonight. I have misseed you.

Lordy

2009-10-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

I got on facebook and never came back,. it's not that I don't want to but I am so lazy. My ex husband sorta makes facebook un fun for me. He has a remark about everything I post. I have to delete lots of his remarks as they seem to be a bit angry. I fear taking him off my list will make him feel bad. How silly. Baby Isabella is growing and is such a happy baby. Has turned into a smiling talking little girl. I cannot get to my pics as I broke my computer and all the pics are there. Fall is creeping in and I love it. Took Cady to Cloudcroft to The Lodge for her birthday yesterday. Heather and her clan all came. They do a champagne brunch every Sunday.Way too pricey for us but it was a special day. We all dressed up in our best. We tried to keep in black as they had the place decorated for Halloween. It is a lovely old place. Back in the 60's it was the place I got my first job. My mom worked the switchboard. I was a busgirl. Oddly enough Heather got her first job there also. She made lots more $ than I did At some point before we met, Joe also worked there in the kitchen. It's a small town here and not many jobs. I think everyone has worked at The Lodge. Will post pics as soon as I am able. Off to cook dinner..

Fun Night

2009-09-22T00:54:00.000-07:00

If you go to El Paso Times.com you will find 2 pictures of my granddaughter Natalie in line to see Britney Spears. She was the cutest thing you ever saw. Too bad they didn't get her black and hot pink sparklie tutu. I was told no cameras and so I for once obeyed. I could have brought it no problem. Oh well. Our seats were so close we didn't need to binoculars we brought. I have been to lots of concerts in my younger days and I can't believe I am saying this but this was the best show I have ever seen. Little Brit put on a wonderful show. She's about as cute as she could be too. She did all of everyones favorites and the special effects were amazing. The guy in front of us told me he would send me pics and so I hope he remembers. I loved it and would go again for sure. I will post the few pics I do have in the morning. Good night friends, deb

Pictures and I Better Hurry

2009-09-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

Natalie woke Heather up at 5:30 am to tell her it is Britney day. I took a nap and now I am a bit late getting ready. We are leaving for El Paso 5 hrs before the concert starts. It's only an hour away but we aren't taking any chances. Just found out no cameras allowed so hell. Here's a bunch of pics from our visit to Ruidoso yesterday. It was Aspencade but most of the bikers were gone by the time we got there. We had alot of fun anyhow just wandering and laughing. I am so glad you are back Molly. I swear I heard you that day. No really. Better get a move on.

2 More Dayz

2009-09-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

I know everyone hates her but my daughter and I love her. Maybe because she kept us entertained with her craziness last year or maybe it's that she whipped herself back into shape and seems like she may end up alright.Maybe it's that without make-up she looks as awful as the rest of us. Even worse. I don't know. I like some of her songs on the Circus album. The first one I ever paid attention to. Whatever, I know we will have a blast Monday night. It will be something that little Natalie will always remember.

It's About Time

2009-09-19T20:14:00.000-07:00

As life blasts past me, I sleep. Not at night like most of you but during the day when I should be out and about. Cady never puts the baby down for any kind of bedtime and so I stay up too. I only wish I knew why. Joe and I are way too in love with our granddaughter. It's something to do with her living with us. She is right here and we just keep thinking she always will be. Well right now thats a pretty safe bet but one day Cady may move and then the 2 of us shall die. We will be found holding broken hearts and clinging to pictures of our "not our baby baby". Cady went with her sister tonight to a birthday party for someone. Joe and I are all "where is our baby"? Oh it's not so bad for Cady. If I could nurse her I would. It's hard for her to be trapped at home all the time but then it's also her own doing. Make your bed and you lay in it too. That baby nurses 27-7. Cady is doing great with that end of things. We were poor as church mice when my kids were babies and I am loving being able to buy cute baby clothes for Isabella. We don't have much in the way of $ but enough that I can have a fun. I have taken maybe 600 pics of her since she was born. I take too many of all my family but it is what I love. Last night we went up the road to check out the flood and then spent till 3am playing Guitar Hero. I suck at hand eye games. I especially suck at this game. Cady was cheering me on for a while but eventually she was shaking her head and laughing. Still, I am going to try again tonight. I am pretty sure I could not beat or even keep up with my 4 yr old grandkids. If I hear Pat Benatar sing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" ever again it will be too soon. I never made it to the game. I played the practice round all night. The very slowest and it was not slow enough. Fall is in the air and I love it. Really love it. I am going to get out my fall decorations tomorrow. I don't know when I started decorating for each season. The grandkids expect it and so I love it. I have developed a strange food thing like if I were 3 or 4 yrs old. I want no food, only yogurt. Plain full fat yogurt from the health food store. I have to have fresh chopped strawberries on it. I have lost alot of weight since I gave up food for just yogurt. I have no idea why I only want that stuff. I am ordering it by the case now because they forgot to order any last week. Its a small shop. Actually last week they had no cream top and the low fat was fine with me. It's so light, I have not been able to eat much meat for a long time. My family are big meat eaters and I am getting where I don't want to touch the stuff.
Monday night is the Britney Spears concert and I can't wait. Natalie is so excited. She is going to look so cute. I hope Brit makes it till then without doing anything crazy. Hope you have a nice week-end. The pics are my son Billy and his boys and Joe and Cady and me. Robin Billy's wife and Cady. It was the coolest mud flood ever.

Weird Post

2009-09-01T16:03:00.000-07:00

When you post one day a month don't expect to have anyone stop by to read your pitiful post. I have no good enough reason. If it were I that had given birth, maybe. But I am just the grandma. I am sleeping much better now and thank you for inquiring. Also, it wasn't me who gave birth but I have lost about 16 lbs since Isabella has been born. Cady is doing great. She is pretty healthy again. Her teeth no longer on the verge of falling from her mouth. We load her face full of vitamins each day now. She is thin as a rail and most everyone who has given birth in the last year hates her. Baby is still breastfeeding and Cady is trying to convince all who will listen to give nursing a chance. Most all her friends are opting for bottles. I do believe it has alot to do with your mom and how she did it. There are the times where women want to breastfeed but have little or poor support. I used to feel like Cady, but now I don't care how others feed their babies. Just please feed them. Cady had a very wonderful birthing experience and wants so badly to help her friends have the same. Not many girls want to go thru a non drugged birth these days. I wish that more women were encouraged to try natural birth but only if they are not looking at 20 hours of painful labor. Why am I bringing this up? I have no clue. We watch Cadys birth tape once a week and it is fresh on my mind I guess. I think we were blessed that Cady was able to give birth in that way. If she had any problems then it all would have been different. I don't like this post and would delete it if I had not spent the last 30 minutes here. How bout I tell you what we have been up to? Okay. I guess I will have to leave a few pictures for now. My family is calling me. Heather took us to the mts on Sunday for pictures. We took some wonderful pics of Natalie and the baby. It was trying to rain so we had to keep Isabella clothed. Next week we will get better pics. We had the cutest little tiny tutu for her. I am aware that this post makes no sense. I am sleep deprived so be gentle. I will be better later.

Sleep? What's That?

2009-08-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

Isabella is a very good baby. No colic, no crying all night. But she likes to be awake at night instead of sleeping like we all wish she would. I am a little bit better at going to bed and stopping watching her when she is finally sleeping. Cady has finally found a perfect position for holdingthebabyandsleepingatthesametime. There has been alot going on. Cady got so run down from lack of eating and sleeping that we ended up at a walk-in clinic and 2 Dr visits. Finally she is on the road to health again. She was missing too many meals and not taking her vitamins anymore. You cannot nurse and not eat. Since making a point of eating proper meals and even drinking protien shakes and instant breakfast a few times a day the baby isn't attached 24-7. Her milk is much better and baby is getting chubbed out. I have a long list of complaints against babydaddy. I cannot wait for him to get bored and move on. He gave Cady 50.00 Friday. He got a job 7 months ago to help with the baby things that would be needed. He spent every cent on things for himself. Oh, and whatever his moma wanted too. I want nothing from him. The night we had to call 911 and take Isabella to the ER due to the fact that she was having trouble breathing, he never showed up. There is no excuse. He likes to show her off to his buddies but he doesn't pay much attention to her when he is with her. Not as much as he pays to texting or playing games. It's hard to see our daughter be treated like a piece of property. He is always mad at her. He tells her what to wear and who to talk to. Who not to talk to. I wish I had it in me to write more about how things are going with that boy. I already know that things are going to get worse before they get better. I dread whats coming. Then it will be over and we can all be happy. The pictures are Cady and her 2 nephews, Christian and Charley. The 3 of them are best friends. Those boys love that baby and Cady.

Time

2009-07-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone? Isabella is 12 days old already. Already outgrowing a few of her preemie outfits. I cannot tell you how much I love having this baby in our home. My friend Debra just came to visit. She is a potter and she made Isabella her own tiny set of dishes. This baby has way more clothes than she will ever be able to wear. What a blessing. The only down thing here is me. Gee, what a surprise. I haven't slept much since the baby came home. I'm fine all day but when it's time for bed I begin to worry. It's crazy. I guess it has to do with the baby I lost many years ago. He was fine until he was 2 weeks old. Then he was gone. This baby is totally healthy and there is no reason for me to worry. But still, I do. My walking the halls and bugging Cady in the middle of the night is wearing on her I am sure. Tonight I will sleep like a normal person. Okay, close as I can get to normal. We have watched the birth video about 25 times and still we all cry. It's going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving/Christmas this year. I can hardly wait.

Send Sleep Please!

2009-07-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

This is a good little baby. She almost never cries. But she is doing that thing lots of new ones do and that is mixing up her days and nights. I think it is I that is mixed up to tell the truth. I am awake till 3 or 4 every night.I get up in the morning and stay in my room on this thing in order to let Cady catch some Z"s. I will read a few of your blogs and then find my head bobbing to the side or just about fall into the keyboard. Hmm, like now. I wish that I wrote with the talent that so many of you have. I would love to share Isabellas birth story with you. Cady would like that. I suppose that I will tell her story but I wish I could afford a ghost writer.

Having a new baby in our house again is just the best thing ever. All I want to do is clean. And sleep. We took her to her 3 day check up on MondayAM. Isabella's Dr is the same Dr Cady had her entire life right up until she found out she was pregnant. He and his wife are the pediatricians for most of my grandkids. I took pictures of Dr Larry giving Cady her first check up and her 1 yr check up. Time flew by somehow and now I have pics of Dr Larry with Cadys baby. The years go by faster with each passing one and I wish it would stop for cryin out loud. Joe. Cady and I all went to Walmart last night to get a few things for the baby. It was a struggle but Joe finally won and got to carry his new pride and joy around the store just as he did Cady 18 years ago. Ordered Cady a sling and she tried it our last night. That baby is so small she kind of gets lost in it. Anyone have a favorite brand of baby sling? This one is Baby Karma or Karma Baby. One of those. Oh hell, I will try this later, I have been asleep 4 times since I began. How bout I just shut up and post pics? Stpooed in for a nursing break while in town last night and took a few pictures of Isabella in Natalies room. The night before Cadys water broke we fooled around with some pics. We had intended to go to the mountains for the real ones this week-end. I am so glad we took what we did.

Finally

2009-07-19T01:59:00.000-07:00

We worked for 7 hours on Cadys room. Heather(Cadys sis) JJ(dearest old friend visiting from Calif) and myself. It looks nothing like the old room. Joe and JJ's husband Joe, hung out in the living room and we girls plus Natalie had to best time ever. We hung a pretty quilt after these pics were taken but the room is done. Cady will be home tomorrow. Baby is a bit jaundiced. Hope she is not too bad. She was not eating and so she got another day. Thats what having non stop company all day will do for you. I had to go to ask the nurses to take charge and stop things. By then damage was done. Some people will pass a baby around a room like a bowl of popcorn. Her dad and I cannot wait to get our daughter back home where we are in charge. I am pretty upset. Cady is too young and sweet to stand up for herself. I think she will be stronger from now on.

She Has Arrived

2009-07-17T02:49:00.000-07:00

Perfect in every way. I have been sitting here asleep for 30 min. I will post pics and tell you all about it tomorrow. I do have to say a few things. This was the most amazing birth I ever witnessed. Cady never lost control. She had no drugs, she was almost totally quiet. Did most of her laboring in the hot shower on the ball. She ended up with no stitches. I am so proud. Baby daddy was amazing also. he was right there every minute. Her water broke this morning at 9:30. here I go, I will tell this story later. Thank you for the prayers. We felt them one and all.I loaded these pica backwards. Sorry, its 4AM. I forgot to warn you, in our family birthing is a family affair. Cady wanted lots of pics and she got them.

hi

2009-07-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

had to run home to let dogs out. cady is so calm. I am freaking out. She is not doing much. Contractions every 5 min. , oh my gosh, we are having a baby!! took this pic on Monday.we love her midwife, Shirley.

Pray

2009-07-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Cadys water just broke.baby is 36 wks today and will be fine but pray anyhow please. I am freakin out. love you

Am I Dreaming?

2009-07-16T00:47:00.000-07:00

The day began so sweetly. Gage spent the night. Maddie comes at 8AM. I keep her 4 days a week while mommy is at school. They were thrilled to see one another. The only thing they like better is to see Auntie Cady. They both tippytoed into my room and climbed into bed with Cady. The being quiet ended at that point. Cady had to get up anyhow. At her Dr appointment on Monday there was protein in her urine and so she had to do a 24 hr urine collection test. That means peeing into a little potty hat and then pouring it into a big jug and then putting that into the fridge. Yuck-o. Every drop for 24 hrs. I have never heard of this one before. Anyway, she got up and within a few minutes she had a throbbing headache and was dizzy. Started seeing spots and the whole thing. Called Jessie for help and she was here in 5 minutes and took both kids. She got worse and we spent the entire day at the hospt. Like 12 hours. Lots of blood tests and IV's. Lots of very sweet nurses. I came home to let the dogs out to pee and when I returned Cady was in total darkness with a heat pack on her head and an oxygen mask on crying. They gave her 3 kinds of meds and nothing took away the pain. They waited for the meds to wear off and as time passed she got a wee bit better. Daddy came up after work and that cheered her up. When I heard her trying to con her dad into taking her out to their favorite Chinese restaurant I knew she was feeling better finally. It's so awful to see my little girl in pain and afraid. I hope we can have a day at home tomorrow and that I can clean my house. There's nothing like a new baby to make me want to clean and scrub. If I knew how to pay attention there would not be 2 of the same pic. Nope, I do not know how to delete the extra. It seems like I should know how to do these things by now.

Where Was I?

2009-07-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

This is a long story and I hope the pics can tell some of it for me. First, we are home and safe. Baby Isabella is now officially old enough to be born in our hospital.(35 wks) Last week Cady kept spotting and cramping. The hospital wanted us in each time she felt crampy. The 3rd time was lasr Wed I think. That is when we were told that our hospital has a clause in their insurance that all babies less than 35 wks shall be transported to Albuquerque. They have the states best NICU. After many hrs and having to endure several fun exams Cady seemed to have settled down for the night. I let babydaddy(Sergio) spend the night with babymama and I went home to try to get a bit of sleep. Just in case the unimaginable happened and Cady got shipped out, I needed to get a few things together for both of us. Sergio may be the baby daddy but I am the Cady mama and there was no way my baby was going to be flown away in the dark without me. Sergio understood. At 3 AM my head had just hit the pillow when the phone rang. He told me what I didn't want to hear and I woke Joe and grabbed a very odd bunch of stuff and we were off. Instead of packing what we may have needed I had washed a few things for us both but mostly I was on the computer reading up on what was going on in Cadys girl parts. I knew we would not be going anyplace.WRONG, I was so afraid that I would miss the plane. I called Heather to let her know. (oldest daughter and bestest friend) She was at Cadys bedside when Joe and I arrived. The ambulance driver told me they may or may not let me go along. Alamogordo has a small airport. Private planes and emergency aircraft. I have not been there in 29 years. I rode in the ambulance with Cady and the nurses while 3 cars followed. Joe, Heather and Sergio all sleepy and in the same weird scarey dream. The sky was just getting light. I ran over and asked the pilot about letting me come along and he couldn't have been nicer. I had to leave behind some of the things I packed. The plane was small. I sat in a jumpseat in the very back. My bags under my feet.Cady was looking a bit shocky. Joe hugged me and said a short prayer for us. I climbed aboard and we were off. Since it's almost 2AM I will leave off here and write the rest tomorrow. As you can tell, I loaded the pics in reverse. it was just getting light when we left. The flight is about 45 minutes. They sent us to University of New Mexico Hospital. Lots of hot looking young doctors. I kept thinking of Greys Anatomy and wondering if they(hot drs) were meeting the hot nurses in the supply room. Cady and I quickly made friends with our nurse and tech. Our tech spent her free time hanging out with us. This was a very strange adventure the 2 of us went on. Am adding a pic of our tech that we loved and I cried when we left her. Crystal was a sweet gal. as you can see, I may not have brought myself any pants except what I was wearing but I brought my camera and charger. nobody cared when I asked if they minded being in my pics as I am blogging her entire pregnancy.

update

2009-07-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, a computer. We are fine. We were flown at 5AM to Albq on a small prop plane. Nice guys watched over Cady like she was their own. Spent the night in the hospt and then they sent us to a Ronald Mc donald house type place. It's very nice and we have a pretty room. We had to buy our own food and we can cook in a huge kitchen. It is mostly cancer patients and famlies. Nice people but we are bored and lonely and I am oh so homesick. We are staying the week-end at my adopted sons house with his sweet family. Roman grew up with my boys and lived at our house. He and his wife came and picked up Cady and I and Sergio(came up for the week-end) and took us to their home for the 4th. It is so nice. Cady will turn 35 wks next Thursday and then we can go home. Our hospital will not deliver babies less then 35 wks along. Up here they do not understand as they say the baby is fine. Any way. Hoping to go home soon. Hope you all have a nice 4th. My love to all, deb

2009-07-01T02:32:00.000-07:00

Oh god, we are going to albq, it is 3:30 am. pray please. love, deb

Hangin On

2009-07-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

Where do I begin? I think jumping into the middle would be best. Tonight my sweety pie Cady is in the hospital. We spent all day there yesterday and then things improved and we got to come home. This morning the spotting and cramping began again. After a few errands we came home and got back on the phone with her midwife. Come back to the hospital and let them put her back on the monitor. Today her cervix had changed a bit. Started to thin and a tiny dimple in the center. Gave her a shot of something and waited for 1 hr. If her cervix had continued to dimple then Cady was to be airlifted to Albuquerque where there is an excellent NICU. I left the room and went to pieces. Called daddy and my pastor and Heather.Sergio(babydaddy) was already on his way. My brother just moved from Albq. I know nobody there. It is a bit over 3 hrs away. The midwife told me I may be able to fly with her. I will not allow her to be alone. She was so frightened. Things have been going so good. We don't know why Isabella has decided to break out. They gave her one more chance and things got better. They tried another med. Dad and Sergio stayed with Cady and Heather and I left to get food for the girl. We are not ready for this baby. But that isn't the point. She's not ready. She is 34 weeks along. Things may be just fine,,or not. Another week and a half and it will be okay to have her here. Although the longer she stays in Cadys tummy the better.I have never had a preemie and none of my kids have either. I am in unknown territory folks. I am scared. Molly R., if I had your # I would have called you tonight. I know you have been through this. When Rick (pastor) got to the room we all joined hands in a big circle and prayed. It made me feel so much better. Just in case we end up being transported out of here I have left Cady with Sergio and come home to do some laundry and pack a bag. There is much to do to prepare for this little girl.Cady and I have been sleeping in my bed for about 3 weeks. Joe is on the couch near the air conditioner and Cady is escaping the bugs that are sneaking in her window due to the huge light her dad put up outside her window. For now we are all happy with that. I love to hear my baby breathe. So what if my baby is almost 19. I have tons of photos to post. I wanted to share all of it with you. But I have been stressed and have posted nothing. This is the 4th time we have been at the hospital in the last month. I am way behind on news. My granddaughter Natalie loves Britney Spears. She is almost 4. My family is very into music. My mom started it and it has been an important part of life in my house. Classical and rock music. Anyway. Brit is coming to El Paso in Sept. 2 weeks ago Heather called me so excited she was crying. She always promised Natalie that if Britney ever came to our area that she would take her to the concert. She would not go without me and I was sure Joe was not willing to put out that kind of money. I asked and he surprised me and said yes. Heather was told by Ticketmaster that tickets would sell out within 1 hr. Heather was on the phone with Ticketmaster when the tickets went onsale and got us 3 tickets in exactly the spot she wanted. I can't wait. But that is a way off. Right now we have a baby girl that is trying to be born too soon. PLease keep her in your prayers. I thank you. I am posting 2 months worth of pics of what has been going on in my part of tha planet.

Please Join In and Pray For Stellan.

2009-06-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

I took this pic back in April for Stellans collection. He is back in the hospital. His heart rate was up to 270 beats a minute. I had lots of pictures of the kids and Cadys growing baby belly. But for tonight it doesn't seem right. Please take a minute or even more and pray for this baby boy.

Update

2009-06-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your concern. It is comforting to know you are out there caring. Cady is just laying around today and drinking lots of water. Jody left Lubbock at 1:30 and will be here in about 2-3 hrs. Yesterday wore me down. I had so much I wanted to get done before he arrived. Now I just don't have the energy. For some reason though I stayed up till 2 painting a kitchen chair and then spent what little time I had this morning putting on a second coat and then recovering the cushion. Why? It looks real nice but there was no need to do it now. I should have been making a shopping list and I should be shopping right now.I did color my hair. I messed up the time since I was working on the chair. My hair is a reddish color now.It's usually blondish. If I don't color it then it is grayish. Tomorrow night is the concert. I am so excited. But tonight I need to find food to feed everyone. I am sleepy and wish they would all eat peanut butter and jelly. The kids are so excited to see uncle Jody. It is an odd old friendship we have he and me. In 1969 I was madly in love with him. So were many other young hippie type girls. He tried to spred himself around to as many as he could. After the birth and death of our baby the strain was too great and we broke up. I ended up married to his best friend.( my ex-hubby Billy) I think that it is grand that we are old friends/brother and sister now. My husband is good friends with both Jody and Billy. So we will all gather together and break bread( if I finally buy some) this week-end and enjoy being old friends and family and whatever else it is that we are. This is the first time that Jody will meet his little namesake. Here is a picture grandpa Billy took last night of baby Jody.

Worried Grandma

2009-06-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

Cady and I spent 8 hrs at the hospital today. She was spotting and cramping this morning. I told her to throw on some clothes and away we went. We are home now but I am worried sick. They gave her (really have no clue how to spell this) breathane and here we are. Will catch you up tomorrow. Please pray that Isabella will stay put for a while longer.

Super Cute

2009-06-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

The last time I got talked into watching a movie that my kids loved it was Borat. I didn't just hate it, I HATED IT. Time has passed, Cady brought home a flick she wanted me watch with her. Okay, I'll take a chance. The movie was Superbad. I really loved it. Okay, I could have passed on some of the ucky language but still. I love Michael Cera from Juno. But my favorite character is Mclovin. I love the kid. Didn't we all go to school with that guy? Christian is now working twice a week with Cady so he is here over night so they can hop to it early. He's 14 now and I am sure if he is allowed to watch South Park and Jackass then he can see Superbad. Let me just say for the record that I will not allow those 2 shows to be viewed by anyone in my house. I could go on but why? Tomorrow is my 2nd appt with Dr Feelgood. I have to drive 100 miles just to get my pain meds. I complained about him today to the nurse at my Dr's office. Maybe he will be a bit less underwhelming tomorrow. I need the pain meds for now. I want to get the shot that may make my back numb enough to go off the meds. I am all for that. I just have to trust the person plunging a large sharp pointy object into my spine. I want to trust this guy. But for now I do not. I am taking my camera with me. The waiting room is full of strange folk. Heather is taking me. She is not too good at putting up with nasty dirty crackhead types. This will be an interesting day for sure. Hey, I'm just trying to look on the bright side ya know? I'll take us to lunch. Okay, nite nite.

Greetings

2009-06-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

20 minutes ago I began a post that I was pretty happy with. I looked up and it was gone. That has happened twice now. I can feel the frustration building like bloodpressure. I shall try once more. This week-end we began work on Cadys room. The baby will be here before we know it. Last week at her monthly Dr appt she was changed to every 2 weeks. I love that. It signals that the time is soon and get a move on. Joe tore out the book cases that took up much room in her tiny space. The next thing is to move out the dogs. I expect there will be some sad eyes looking my way when the gang is not sleeping in a room with their beloved Cady. She decided she wants Beatrix Potters Peter Rabbit as her nursery theme. I love that. We have been Pooh Beared to death. Mostly due to my love of the old boy. I still have my big ol bear from the age of 10. A friend from church gave Cady her Peter Rabbit crib sheets and comforter. I found a diaper stacker on ebay for a few $ and it looks very sweet. I found a lovely old white dresser with glass knobs and a mirror that I want to buy. If there is any room for it maybe. I am thinking of painting the ugly old wood floors too. I found a sweet blog called Posy and she did her floors that way and it is wonderful. I am very fond of all things old and cozy looking. I could do my entire house in pinks and lace and flowers. I have found so many new ideas at Posy. I cannot wait to get to work.
In other news ,my wonderful husband promised me we could go to the Joe Cocker concert in Ruidoso. I was sure this would be like all the other concerts I wanted to go to. With his new job we can finally afford a few things. Then we realized that he would not be able to be home in time. He surprised me and got online and ordered 2 tickets anyway. My ex, Jody ( we lived together in 69,70,and 71 in Calif) lives in Lubbock Texas. Joe told me to take Jody if he can get here. We have been working on this for weeks now. Jody just called to let me know he won't have to hitch hike. He got his car up and about. I am so excited. Jody and I have not been to a concert together since we saw Fleetwood Mac and Mountain in San Bernardino in 1970. Joe got us good tickets up front and in the middle. This time there will be no L.S.D. involved but I am sure we will have much fun. I think my husband is one great guy to send me on a date with my old sweetheart. As I mentioned in an old post, Jody and I are like brother and sister. He calls me each year on the birthday of the little boy we had that passed away. Our kids only just realized that they are not blood kin. Jody has a daughter that is exactly that same aage as Cady. Jody just found out that she is pregnant also. She is 10 wks behind Cady. It's funny how life turns out. Jody was pretty awful to me back then. He had girlfriends coming to the house looking for him. I was always crying and upset. Through the years we have grown close and like I said, we are family. I will stop now as I am afraid that this post will disappear too. leaving some recent pics of Cady and grandkids.

They're Gonna Lock Me Up

2009-05-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

If I don't write a letter explaining why I cannot be a juror, they are going to do something bad to me. I am stupid not to have just done it. I feel like I need to write a grand paper the likes of which I no can do. See? My writing is not so good. In the morning I will be writing anyhow. It feels so odd that I am expected to just show up at the courthouse. As it is my kids take up most of my time. I am so tired of my life not being mine anymore. If they were little that would be okay. I just need to be sewing and painting and putting in a garden this year. I need to. There is someone who needs me to babysit nearly each day. Then in the evening or early Sat morning there is a game of some sort to be watched. I want to be at those games. I want to cheer them on. I am proud of the little guys. Lately there is no time in my life for me. Not really any. I feel bad for complaining about this to you. A few nights ago I found time for me. I stayed up till 2AM. I planted the flowers I bought last week. I put a coat of wax on the kitchen floor. I even found some of my sewing that had gone missing. I want to share with you a pic of my husbands boots. He had the money to get new ones he just never took the time to get them. Joe gets his moneys worth out of his boots for sure. My sweet Cady bought me several beautiful bunnies for Mothers Day. I collect so many things it seems. I cannot wait for next Mothers Day and little Isabella will be about 9 months old. Cady is about 28 weeks now. Time is flying.

Strange Days Indeed

2009-05-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, where do I begin? Hmm. Lets just say that the new Dr sucked. How's that? The waiting room was okay. Little by little the people coming in the door got curiouser and curiouser. Cady loves everyone and refuses to not speak to the crazies when they speak to her. Even when they are speaking to themselves near her. I have no problem with poor folk with mental illness. But I do tend to keep a safe distance from many of them. This waiting room was some kind of portal to another world I am certain. When my name was called I hated to leave Joe and Cady out there. I feared Cady would have one of them moving in with us. They real odd ducks came in after I was called. I was left to wait in room 3. I was surprised to see an old iron hospital bed instead of an exam table. More surprised to see it had a white and very used sheet on it ands no paper. A pillow with a cotton case and dirt and a few odd hairs on it. The bedsheet had lots of dirt from shoes at the bottom. On the floor was more dirt and sticky crapola. One of the 3 chairs in the room had an old bath towel laying on it to cover the hole. A dusty filthy table next to the bed had some kind of machine with all its wires hanging out. I sat in the only hard back chair. The other 2 had cushion seats that wear really scarey. I called Joe on my cell and began to cry. He had already taken (drug) Cady out to the truck. I told him I was okay but I hated this place and he began to tell me about the others that came in after I went to the exam room. I could hear some lady gagging and heaving really loud someplace down the hall. The only window in my room had a medical poster taped over it to serve as a curtain. The trash can was overflowing. I tried to replace the look of disgust and fear with a more serene and smiley face. My Dr here that referred me to this man told me he was very nice and his patients loved him. Oh, I think I know why. I tried to show him the large folder with all the films of my back and hip. You know, the MRI I had done to give the Drs a view of my problems. He gave them a quick glance. I tried to show him the paper with what my Dr found to be wrong. He laughed and said that was just someones opinion and he would see for himself what was needed. Then he started talking very fast and with his east Indian accent I could not understand most of what he said. I caught on fast that he didn't think much of repeating himself. When he mentioned cutting into my back I heard that and thats when I began crying. I didn't need to be embarrassed cuz he totally ignored me. I asked about therapy and what could I do. Should I join a gym? Could he give me some things I could do at home? He drew me a few sketches and gave me a handout with a few pictures of a man doing squats and such. Then he came to the part about my pain meds. I have been having some bad hip trouble for 3 weeks and really wanted to find out what the deal was with that. He was not interested in that and just ignored it all. He wrote a prescription for pain meds. The same I am taking but 60 pills more. I needed maybe 15 or 20 more. When I told him that the pharmacies are all having trouble getting that particular medication he wrote another script for me for a very strong pill that I didn't think I needed. I mentioned that to him and he gave me the Stink Eye and kept writing. I told him I would bring it back to him if I didn't need it.(it, being the perscription) Like if the other meds where available. He said not to bother. Just throw it out. Well, okay but it seems like they should keep a close eye on pain meds. So, after all this would you let this man cut into your flesh? Or give you a shot in your spine? See, I knew you would say that. As it turned out I asked the gal at the pharmacy about the pills and she said they were about the same as what I was taking. But be careful. So I am guessing the reason people love this Dr is his free ways with meds. Many years ago I would have been glad to have this Dr. Today I am grandma, mom and wife. I want to be alert and enjoy my life. I know I cannot do that if I am in the kind of pain that I have been having but I am sure that there must be a better way. I am on the road to find it. And this is why for so many years I did not bother going to any Drs.

My Family and Me

2009-05-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

Today is my long awaited appointment with the physical therapist. Joe is taking off work to drive me the 85 miles to Las Cruces. It has been 6 weeks of waiting. I hope something good comes from this day. I may be setting an appt for a shot in my back. If it will make the pain less then I will do it. Maybe he will send me to the gym. That would be nice. Joes new job is great. What a difference it makes when you know for sure that you can buy toilet paper. I mean really. I even have food stocked up in the big freezer. The bad thing is that we never see him. He works 12-14 hour days. He is happy and thats all that matters today. Here are pics of what we have been up to lately.

Getting Ready For Summer Foods

2009-04-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Now that it's warming up my mind turns to outdoor foods and salads and my favorite-home made salsa. My friend Debra is a potter. She makes beautiful things. I was at her place picking up some items for christmas when I saw some little square bowls in her cupboard. She gave a price that can't be beat. I have waited until there was $ to order them. I am on my way to her house to pick colours. Salsa tastes so much better when eaten from the proper bowls. I have finally begun waxing floors. I had a time finding the right liquid waxy shiney stuff. My floors are in bad shape and I have no plans to refinish them. But clean and wax them I will do. Since the Duke poop incident the floors are naked. He is making slow progress and I still don't know if he can ever be okay. By next week we will have to face this and decide. He's better than he was but not better enough.I cannot let him suffer. Right now he's in a holding pattern.

Who is Stellan?

2009-04-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

And why should you pray for him. Well if you have not heard of him you are out of the loop and need to go to his moms blog and read up. I have been following his story for a while. When I read todays last post I burst into happy happy tears. This is such an amazing story and it seems that half of the world knows about him. Thank you God, Stellan and his mom are flying home tomorrow.

2009-04-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

My second night back home. I woke up several times and had no idea where I was. It was strange. I am so happy to be home. Ol Duke dog is hangin in there for right now. He is eating the most yummy of dinners now and I think he will never want to be well for fear of going back on icky dog food. I am making him boiled chicken breat and brown rice. It tastes so good and the brown rice has such a nice earthy taste. Joe thought it was for him. I spent forever shoveling poop late yesterday and it was awful. I think today Dukes tummy may be better. He has had to sleep outside for the second night and its killing me. He and I both have hip troubles and the cold makes for some killer pain. Joe put Charley out to keep Duke company. Jack is such a loud and crazy barker that he has to be inside. My house looks so naked and sad with no floor coverings. I was looking at pics from a week ago when I had all the little ones here and it was so pretty. I guess it was the only way to force us to make time to pull out that nasty old carpet that has been in the hall forever. The hardwood floors look nice. They will be mighty cold next winter. I think I will find a couple of nice hall runners soon. You know how one thing always leads to another? Yes well all this means that we also have to paint. And get base boards in the halls. I have so many things on my list but fear I will never get to do anything. I am happiest when I am working on my house or knitting or sewing. I have to learn to say "NO" to my kids more. I need time to myself. All my sewing has been set aside for so long I don't have any idea where to find it rigfht now. I am seeking that perfect balance of kid time and me time. The me time most always means making something for someone else but that is what gives me joy and a sense of accomplishment. But I have serious hermit tendencies and have to watch myself. I was away at Heathers(a 6 mile drive from my house) when Joe began his new job. He is doing very well and is also making about twice as much $. They decided to do away with the assistant position so that means he will never have any time off. I have been spoiled. He has always been able to drive me to out of town dr appts and such. He gets no lunch break. Actually I won't mind that. I am always on a roll at that time of day and prefer not to have to stop and make food. I am so happy trhat he will be making enough to put gas in the cars and buy tp on a reg basis. The poor man works so hard and until now he was pretty much unhappy about his pay. We had decided that no matter how broke we were that we would be going to the Joe Cocker concert on June. Now we can afford the tickets but Joe will not be off work in time to go. If that is my biggest complaint in my life right now than I am blessed for sure. Besides, I will just get a ticket for Heather and she and I will go. Girls nite out. I better run and hang out that laundry. Including some recent pics of this and that. Grandkids and Cady, oh my isn't that a surprise. darn, I put the same picture twice and have no idea how to remove it. I guess I will figure it out later, laundry calls.

And Clicking Our heels Together We Repeated That Age Old Mantra, There's No Place Like Home

2009-04-26T00:10:00.000-07:00

It's 1AM. I am so sleepy that my chin keeps falling into my chest. But here I am. I just gotta. It's been one heluva week. They boys were good as gold. My problem is that I am a house person. I love home and spend most of my time here in the big middle of HOME. Joe came to see us twice. I think he just wanted food. Cady and I came home twice. It was not a good thing our visiting home. No, it was not. Thursday night Joe came to eat dinner with us. He went home around 10. he called me around 11. Seems our sweet old dog had had a bad problem with his bowels. he has never pooped on our floors. He will stand with his legs crossed if need be. We don't know for sure what caused it but it very well may be that he missed Cady and I. He never stops pacing when Cady is gone at night. He searches the house for her over and over again. Up until last week I was never gone longer that a few hours. I was so glad that I was staying with the grandkids and Joe was stuck with that nasty task. When we are gone we always bring our 3 odgs inside. They all have kennels except Duke and he is never a problem. He could not help it. Joe said you could see where he had tried to find me. he left a poo trail as he ran from my side of that bed and into the kitchen and then back to the front door. Joe worked for a few hours and he said that Duke pretty much missed the rugs. Thank God. Cady and I came home to get a few things yesterday and found a surprise waiting for us. it looks like someone had a garden hose and sprayed my livingroom rugs with poop shot from that hose. I stood there sorta frozen for a while. Then a strange screaming curse could be heard all over the neighborhood. That wonderful rug on my floor was maybe 3 years old. I took such good care of it. I loved it. It is now gone. Joe told me he could clean it. No way. I will not have my grandbabies crawling or sleeping on a poop rug. I think you will all agree with me on this. I am going on way too long. I will finish tomorrow. The story is that we may have to put my Duke to sleep if we cannot make him well. He has had to sleep outside and due to his hip problems that pain is too much. He could not stand today when Cady and I got here. My heart is broken. The girl Cady works for was the vet tech that trained Cady. She told me to make him chicken and rice. It tasted so good. She also gave us pain meds for him. We got him Pepto Bismal and a new fluffy bed. He is better tonight but has to sleep out one more night to see how he handles the food. Dawn thinks his hips won't make it one more winter but that we may be able to get him better and have this last summer with him. Time passes so quickly.

It Starts Small, But Moves Fast(the brain drain)

2009-04-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid watching anything Disney was a thrill. The Wonderful World of Color. Remember that? Disney meant quality. Tonight without noticing it I sat through 2 Hannah Montanas. The show makes me gag. My granddaughters love her. But I was so upset with myself when I realized I was ready to go to bed. Like Passing out in the big soft mushy chair. But I was staying up, I was staying up to see how Hannah Montana ended. OH My Gawd! I have sat through way too many kid shows. I am too tired from all the running I did today to read to the kids or any of that other stuff I do. Making a note to self to find and plan something for tomorrow night. Hell, maybe I am wrong here and it wasn't Disney at all. Maybe that slop was on M-TV. I just can't think anymore.

The Big Sleepover

2009-04-19T23:56:00.000-07:00

I will be staying at my daughters house all week. Heather and Jimmy and Natalie are in Cancun. Or as Natalie calls it Canna Cunna. She called me today from their room at the Moon Palace Spa Resort. Wanna know what she said? "MOM, I just wanna come home". I think it may have been the total lack of sleep. They had to leave for the airport at 2 AM. She was pretty freaked out by the large iguanas that seem to wander all over everyplace. She turned on the water so she and Natalie could soak in the hottub. Before it was full Natalie pushed a button that turned on the water jets. She said it was like a bad movie. Water shooting all over the room. She was afraid room service would come with Natalies food and see the flood. It shot out and knocked Natalie on her butt and scared her to daeth. I am sorry but I was about to pee my pants as she told the story. Friday I had 4 little ones as I think I told you. One 4 yr old, two 3 yr olds and baby Jody who is just 1. OMG! I may have given birth to 5 kids but they were all spaced a few years apart. Molly, Frema, whatever silly comments or assvice I may have given in the past, all I can say is I must have a bad memory. Forgive me please. I couldn't even take a pee break. I never for even one minute had them fooled into thinking I was in charge. They had no mercy. These little sweet peas of mine that are with me often but not as a gang. It was mob rule. They were the mob and they ruled. When they began arriving at 9 AM my entire house was (okay not my room, never my room)was clean as a whistle. I scrubbed every inch of floor. I was tired but I just knew those toddlers would appreciate how clean it was for them. I am not sure at what point I knew they had me. But when I heard my voice in loud scream mode and saw the fear on their faces I shut right up. I sat down in the middle of them and on a large pile of Ritz cracker crumbs and cheese sticks and began to sing Old Mac Donald. They forgave me right away and sang along. We sang for what seemed like 2 days and only stopped when they ran out of stuff that Old Mac had on his farm. I say stuff because it wasn't just animals. He had chairs and flowers and shoes on that damn farm and for the life of me I could not think of any sound for a chair. We made a campsite in the dark end of the hallway. They had to use every blanket and sheet and quilt that was in the house. I only had to retrieve one barette from the toilet( i got lucky here and there was no poop) and only one of them had an( wet pants) accident. Only one house plant suffered a broken limb. I only cried once and that was when I yelled at them. I never get angry with them and they had no idea what to think of me. I had really forgotten what it is like to have more then one little one to wrangle. It is hard work. You gotta be fast on your feet and have backup plans for everything. Mostly you have to say to hell with the clean house and dive in head first and have fun with them. When my kids were small all my jeans had holes in the knees. Now I recall why. I spent my time on the floor with them. I am a pretty fun grandma but I learned a few things. Anybody can handle 1 child. Though even one is alot of work. I had forgotten just how much work it is to take good care of a family with more than one child. My hat is off to moms and dads that make a home for their famlies and make it look so easy. When I had a cow over those cracker crumbs I remembered what is really important. Dishes and laundry can wait but babies grow up and change each day. Days we can never get back. I hate a dirty house but not as much as I love spending time with those kids. I also learned that I need to have another grandparent share some of the duties with me.( aside from Joe) I may need hip replacement. I don't take a full dose of pain meds when I am taking care of little ones. It's hard for me to say no ever. I took some nice photos of my day of insanity. They are on my computer at home and when I go back there later in the week I will post them. Christian and Seth are a joy to be with and this week will be fun. Seth who is just 7 is now reading chapter books as he calls them. He read to me from the cutest book tonight. Junie B. Jones. This little guy Seth is a sweet and kind hearted boy. He thinks his mommy hung the moon and obeys all her rules. He makes sure we all do too. He is sleeping with me tonight. If not mommy then grandma will do.

It's Rainin Kids

2009-04-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

By 9AM I shall have 4 kids 4 and under. Gage-4 Maddie-3 Natalie-3and last but not least is baby Jody who just turned 1. Jody is still nursing. He is down to only at bedtime but still. He has never been alone with me. The car wreck I mentioned on Easter eve ,well the guy that passed away was a friend of everyone in my family and most everyone in town. He is Joeys age. Raced with Brandy and Cady, Heather used to date his dad and babysit his little sister. This is a small town and so it has touched everyone. I met him a few times. I am the only one to watch the kids. I am a bit worried about keeping them all under control. Oh yes, and Maddie has pink eye. Heather and Jimmy and Natalie are leaving for Cancun Sunday morning. Heather would never allow anyone with pink eye near her kids but this is one of those things. Now she has to call her dr and get meds for Natalie just in case. Joey and Jessie are splitting up. It was a sad situation a long time ago and now it's just crazy to drag it out. My grandkids are living in a war zone and I am very angry. Gage is here now. On a good note it looks like Joe will be changing jobs in a week. He will be on salary and get paid each week instead of every 2 weeks. Same company different area. He will be making twice what we get now. Wow, we can have gas in the cars and toilet paper. Cady can have maternity clothes. She is about naked. It really is a blessing. Too bad that a memo went out today stating that everyones dental insurance is now no more. No more sick leave either. Even so, our lives will be much improved. My husband works so hard and deserves this. I will get alot more excited when he actually starts the new job. He works for Chevy dealership and as you know things are not good for the auto industry. Better rest up. Those kids are gonna be all excited in the morning.

You And I, We Are So Blessed

2009-04-15T01:25:00.000-07:00

I am sure you heard about this tiny angel named Maddie. It's 2:30 AM so I shall be brief. Her story and that of her amazing mom and dad is everyplace. If you have not read it well you need to. There is so much to say but my words just cannot do the job. Please go to "I Should be Folding Laundry" and Beth will show you the way. See, I have no idea how to link. There is also formaddie@hotmomreviews.com. Both parents are out of work in Calif. This is a very expensive place to live. Wonderful people all over the world have raised huge amounts of $ for the March of Dimes in Maddies memory. They also have an account set up to help Maddies parents pay for the funeral and probably just to live right now. We are always broke or close to it. Joe gets paid on Friday and we will be sending 20.00 to the family fund. If I can only help with one thing then I feel like that is where I want to send our little bit. Cady is sending 10.00 from her unborn baby girl Isabella. I hope that all of you will read the story of this sweet family and then follow your heart. I may not have alot in the way of money but I am so blessed with healthy children and babies. On April 17 1971 I gave birth to a little boy. He seemed perfect. When he was 10 days old he seemed not right to me. I took him to the dr who sent me to the hospital. By midnight that night he was gone. Just like that. A heart valve problem that is now very treatable. Because of Beth( I Should be Folding Laundry) I am just now really healing from that awful night so long ago. What Maddies parents are going through is much worse than my own experience. I know I have wandered a bit here. Forgive me please. I know times are tough for us all. But even so I hope you feel what Joe and I do and dig into your piggy bank and also to remember this family in your prayers. I do not know how people live through things like this. Maddie was their only child. Thank you all for the kind words and support you have given me. Thank you Molly for the giant box of baby clothes for Isabella. It was like Christmas. Thank you Biddie for sending Gage special toys and clothes and books that you somehow manage to afford when you and I are both rolling pennies for toilet paper. Thank you Frema for your kind offer to send jammies and onesies for the baby. Thank you all for being my online family.Thank you for the prayers. Just reading about all the love and kindness being sent to Maddies family, it gives me such a warm feeling in my heart. Blogland is a kind and loving place. People jump right up and lend a hand or foot if needed to people they have never shared the same zip code with. The world is filled with much more kindness and love than we ever hear about on the nightly news. Thank you my dear friends. You have made my life a better life.

So

2009-04-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

I filled out the paperwork like a good girl and sent it in. Since that time things have changed. I am watching grandkids so 2 of my girls can go to school. There is nobody else here folks. I am it. I am sure that sitting on a hard wood chair for howeveer many hours a day will do loads for the everpresent pain in my back and leg. I feel like my life has been taken over by strangers. JURY DUTY. I don't care if they say it's our duty and I should be honored. I don't wanna. There are so many people who need something to do. I am lucky to have toilet time some days. I am probably going to end up in trouble. I will be taking a 3 yr old with me to try to explain why I need to be off the hook on this. With my 2 meds it would be great to have me fall asleep during a trial. Joe has been calling in for me and I have lucked out and both times whatever it was got cancelled. I don't even own court type clothing. I wonder if the fact that my drivers licence has been expired for 6 years would disqualify me. Why you ask? Don't ask.

Hoppin Down The Bunny Trail

2009-04-12T22:17:00.000-07:00

I keep nodding off and waking back up. I am way too sleepy to post but I am getting so bad about letting things slip away.. So I just better wake my ass up right now. Before I show you Easter pics and tell stories about such, You NEED to see what all the kids are gonna be wanting for Xmas this year. I had Heathers 3 on Friday. A pretty easy group. Cady and Christian took the little guys out back to see the goats,. ( I am called goat grandma by Natalie and Seth calls me Jack grandma. Jack is our Jack Russell) Where was I? They were out there for a while and I wandered out to see what they were up to. Before I got to them I heard Christian yell something in a very excited voice.Everyone came running. The crowd parted and there it was. I very large vulture. Large and dead. Christian had Cady spread its wings so he could take about 100 pictures on his cell. Then he took a video. Seth and Natalie were dancing around and squeeling with such joy it was beyond belief. Except for Cady touching the wingtips I did not let anyone touch the nasty thing. Joe got home and they could not wait to share it with him. He seemed to love it too. It's wings were as wide as Natalie was tall. It crashed into a tree while on the hunt for a small critter.Years ago one almost got my big old white cat. We had to put a lid on our chicken coop as they would drop in for a snack now and then. I know, way too much info here but I had to tell you. I have spent good money on nice gifts that didn't bring near the joy that a dead bird did. I have no idea what is up with the spacing here. The more pictures I added the bigger the spaces became.

Now Easter. Today was one of our best Easters in many a year. (Except for last night)Let me back up to last night. You knew I was gonna take the long way home now huh? I totally planned to attend church this morn. My husband play drums in the band and it is nice when his wife and daughter show up. We outgrew my house several years ago but Heather has too much going on with school and their upcoming vacation and asked if we could cram everyone into my place. Cram is the perfect word too. I was up till 3 AM last night cleaning and cooking and moving all those piles of this n that Joe brought home from Texas last month. It was just Cady and I. Joe was at band practice and then went directly to a car accident. The La Luz fire dept takes all those calls. We are out in the sticks. At 7 Joey called and asked if Gage could stay with us while they went to Ruidoso. Cady stopped cleaning and dyed eggs. ( Gage insists it is DIALING eggs) By 10:00 Cady and Gage dialed 50 eggs and she gave him a bath. I stopped and snuggled the sleepy guy and read him my old easter bunny book. They picked up the sleeping boy and a few moments later Joe came in. I got as much done as I could last night and went to bed. Got up and kept goiong.There was no way I could go to church and have everything ready. I went outside just before sunrise and had my own moment with Jesus. Joe was upset that I didn't go with him but he understood. Cady had to work. Everyone got here at 2:00. I think there was about 22 of us. Cady picked up Christian after she got done with her couple hrs of work and they hid eggs all over the yard. We have one acre. Everyone dyed eggs last night and Cady and Christian went around and gathered them and brought them out here to hide. We broke the old record. They hid 225 eggs this year. About half where plastic with candy inside. There were 8 kids running and laughing all over the yard. It was the best feeling in the world. The Easter Bunny always leaves each child a basket at our house too so sugar was king today. God Bless you everyone. You all have a special place in my heart. I hope your Easter was special.

Late As Always

2009-04-02T14:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Jodys 1st birthday. I didn't forget him but I did forget to post it. He is the cutest little guy. He has been walking for 2 months. tryin to keep up with Gage I am sure. His party is the Sat and I will post pics of that. Seth has his first official bike race on Sunday morning. Joe and I are keeping our fingers crossed that we may get an entire week-end soon so that we can clean the yard. Every week-end is and has been booked up for a long while now. The bike race will be very cute. In a few weeks Heather and Jimmy are going to Cancun and I am staying with the boys. Natalie is 3 and Heather could not enjoy herself without the baby so Natalie will be having one hell of a time. They own a business called Pro-Lube. The trip is mostly paid for by one of the companies they purchase oil from. I don't know exactly how it works but it is an incentive program. All they had to pay for was Natalie. All flights, rooms and food and drinks are paid for. Sounds wonderful. Heather has kept up an A average in college so she deserves a break for sure. She is a bit worried about Mexico right now but knows it will be okay. We stay clear of Juarez. Nasty place. I should be doing laundry. I have a break from everyone for a few hours. See what I do instead?

A Healthy Baby

2009-03-31T22:43:00.000-07:00

The greatest words ever. And then "it's a girl". If I could hold my eyes open I would have more to say tonight. Love to you all. I'm sorry for the delay Biddie. One of those days. Joes goats broke out, the toilet overflowed big time. Ah, it's spring.

Goodness

2009-03-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

Last night Cady called me to her room. She put my hand on her belly and I felt it. Just that quick. A small little miracle made contact with me. Her belly is getting so round and tight. We went through all her drawers and the closet too yesterday. There is not much left that she can fit into without it being a tight squeeze. She is not keen on big ol maternity tops. She looks very cute with her belly under a tight tee shirt. We are going to the thrift shop on pay day to look for a few things that she may like. Tomorrow is her appt to see what this child will be. We are hoping the baby feels like playing along. I have bought so much pink based fabric to make a quilt. It only just entered my head that maybe we have a boy in there. Now I have 6 grandsons and only 2 granddaughters. I would love another girl but in the end it really makes no difference. I am feeling very blessed and peaceful today. Heather (my oldest) and I have been taking care of her dad since his homecoming 4 days ago. He is running us ragged. He came close to death and it seems to have turned him around in many ways. I have been twice to clean and scrub for him. I hurt my back doing what I knew I should not. It was so worth it though. He has been such a hermit for about 8 years. The grandkids love him but prefer grampa Joe. He is ready to come back and have a life. His body was being poisoned by that awful gall bladder. He is feeling so much better that he has to call me several times a day and night to confirm that he is not crazy. He is actually feeling good. He called at 10:30 last night to talk about God. He and I went to Calvary Chapel, Costa Mesa back in the 80's and he was very happy then. I invited him to come with us and he feels that it would be wrong to tag along with Joe and I. Joe wrote him last night and invited him again. My Joe is an amazing man. He has no problem with me spending all that time taking care of my ex husband or talking to him for hours each day on the phone. I must admit that I grow weary of the phone thing though. I am not a phone person. Today I have an appt with my Doc. I love her. She actually sits and talks to me. I do not know if she ever got the results from my biopsy but if not she will be soon. I am sick of this back trouble and really wanted to find out about therapy. I am too young to be sidelined like this.
The wind is blowing hard. The sun is out. Spring is a comin. Joe got alot of work done on our closet. I didn't leave home yesterday and managed to get some laundry and cleaning done. I love a clean home. Hoping your day is a good one. The photo is my brothers and I. It feels like 100 years ago.

Winter, The Comeback

2009-03-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday Joe got the air conditioner running. Last night it snowed. We are freezing. I thought I was done hauling wood. Okay, I knew it would get cold at least once more but not like this. Cady and I are huddled together waiting for me to get sressed and do a fire. Last night Joe took me to see 2 Celtic bands. It was great. Grada and Beoga. I could listen to this music forever. It reminds me a bit of Pentangle and It's A Beautiful Day from many years ago. It's music that takes you away to another land and time. Both bands have music on youtube if you care to check it out. Ex hub is home and doing okay but needs alot of help. The docs thought he had mesothelioma. They had found dark spots on his lung. Scared us to death. Then they found that he had pneumonia. His gall bladder was so toxic and swollen that it was touching the lower part of a lung. He is on oxygen. I cleaned house for him yesterday and Heather has been running back and forth when he calls afraid. I live out of town so it's up to her. She is in nursing school and knows much more of what needs to be done than the rest of us.He has been having such sad crying spells it breaks my heart. He lives like a hermit and now he needs us all. He didn't know how much he was loved and is overwhelmed. My house is in need of a good cleaning but I may never get to be home again. I really need to be here all week-end. I didn't need to stay with Billy since Joey decided he wanted to. I can't be in a house with a heater cranked up all night. My hotflashes drive everyone nuts. Hoping you all have a wonderful week-end.

People With Issues

2009-03-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

What people you say? Hmm. Last night while I lie half dead on the couch Joe began cleaning the junk off the table in our room so he could move the very old dresser he brought home from Moms house.( I can make even longer than that, just watch) He got real into it. He and I are an Oprah show on people who save everything. The thing is, my stuff is really worth saving and his is not so much. Okay, he says the same thing about me. So anyhow, he did such a good job that he cleaned out the corner. Now this corner had a nice pile of boxes and other stuff. Computers and a TV and general crapola. The pile in the corner was blocking a door. The door was to another little room. We have not been in that room for maybe 8 years. The exception to that is just when a circuit would blow. The only way into the room was from the outside. Joe would climb through and flip the switch. I never worried about anyone breaking in cause that corner was packed in tight. The little room is a small walk-in closet and a small bathroom. With no garage and only 2 closets we filled that room way up years ago. Then one day we never went back in. Strange you say? Um, I think so too. Joey( youngest son and Gages daddy) and Joe have always wanted to rent a dumpster and throw everything out the window and knock out the wall and enlarge my kitchen. I was so sleepy last night I went to bed while Joe worked. This morning I found he had done what he and Joey had dreamed. He took a snow shovel and threw everything out the window. It is about 4 feet tall. The pile I mean. He also found Cadys social security card and birth certif. Plus so many cute things the kids had made for me. But most of it is trash. I have taken no pics yet but even though it is an awful sight, I have to share it with you. It feels so good to know that is not sitting there anymore. It is also a lesson for us both. We don't need to save everything the kids touch. I kept every paper they brought home when they were small. One day I made myself toss papers my son Billy brought home. He came in with tears rolling down his little cheeks holding his paper. It broke my heart. That's what started it. Funny, the rest of my house is okay. Except my room is kinda used as a dumping ground for homeless items. Now that Joe has brought in the new old dresser and will be bring in the wardrobe we will have room for our things. I don't even have a linen cabinet. My towels have to be stacked on some crappy shelf from walmart in the hall. Soon that will be gone and the hall will be a hall. We are sorta spring cleaning. I am glad Joe took advantage of me sleeping to get that cleaned out. Now we just have to get the shit out of the yard. Thanks Joe.
On another subject. The ex hubby went into the hospital in Las Cruces last Thursday. Had surgery on gall bladder duct. They did it through his throat. They found 5 stones there. His Dr thought he may not want to wait on taking out the gall bladder so it was to be the following day. Heather and Natalie, Cady and myself all drove over to visit him in between surgeries. He was feeling a bit low and sore but mostly he was afraid. We promised to wait in Cruces and come back to check on him after he was out of recovery. Because he was being worked in at the last minute he didn't have an exact time. We got to Cruces at 11 A.M. and got home at midnight. Long day. Poor guy. His gall bladder was so bad the doc said it was the worst he had ever seen. He felt he would have died within a week give or take a few days. He had to have open surgery instead of what Heather and I had. I got 4 small knife holes and that was it. He has a 12 inch gash on his belly.They didn't know how many stones when he asked as it was just full and ready to burst. Everytime we called to ask about him we were told he was still in the OR. Then shift change came and they thought he may be in recovery but who knew? It was late but we left Cady and Natalie in the van and made one last visit to the hospital. He was there alone in his room. He was moaning and swollen and telling us to be quiet. The taliban was there. Don't breath the toxic fumes he said to me, "Deb, take Heather out of here fast". He was in a great deal of pain and at the time we thought he had the laproscopic surgery. He is a big baby and we didn't know til Heather checked his wound just how bad he was. She went to the nurses station to ask for his nurse. They had no idea he was in his room. How long he was there alone and crying in pain we have no clue. Maybe up to 30 minutes. Heather is my girl in nursing school. She found 2 tubes that didn't look right and showed the nurse. Then the 2 of them found a little back pack looking thing just laying by him connected to tubing. Turns out it was antibiotics. Nurse Lisa rolled some heads. She found out he needed his pain meds and now. He was a mess. She did a wonderful job with him and by the time we left we knew she would take good care of daddy. 3 of the kids went to see him yesterday and he was doing real good. I called him today and he is ready to come home. Maybe a few more days.He is walking around and hardly any complaining.We all feel so bad because nobody knew he was so sick. It's like the boy who called wolf. The kids never pay as much attention to him as they should. He is hoping that he will feel so much better now that he can play more with the grandkids and they won't run past him into Grandpa Joe. Joe is step-dad to 4 of my kids. Cady being our only child together. Back in those days Billy had a girlfriend who was jealous of his kids and he let her rule. Joe took total care of them all. Billy paid maybe 1000.00 child support all those years. It's a miracle that we are all friends now. He came to our door one day and held out his hand to Joe. They have been friends ever since. After 8 years he left the girlfriend and has tried his best to be a better dad. And he has done okay. But the grandkids all want grandpa Joe. Maybe now he can feel well enough to be the fun grampy too. I am hoping that I won't have to stay with him when he comes home. But I said I would if he needs me and so I will. I will be ready with a stack of books just in case. I finished Eat, Pray, Love. One of my favorite books this year. I don't really like sci-fi. I went through a Robin Cook thing years ago. I was surprised how much a liked his style. I finished my Beatrix Potter book also. I loved it too. She was very interesting. I wish our library had more books on her life. Okay, I think I have rambled around long enough. Have a great night all of you.

Hello Again

2009-03-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

Seems like if I have the time that I am not in the mood to post. But really, it's been so long. I have had no word about the results of the biopsy. I'm sure they will call one day. But enough about that. Let me tell you what I have been up to. Kids, I have been up to my eyeballs in kids. Nearly everyday. Most days I am lovin it. Today , not so much. I over did it yesterday and those other days that we had this week. My daughter Sara decided to go to beauty school with her best friend. She has issues with paranoia and nerves like her mom and the poor girl wanted so bad to do something with her life. It is like a new Sara. She is so happy. She loves all the things she is doing and learning. She is so fashion obsessed and has every hair in place. This is for her. That means I am watching Madison 4 days a week. 3 of those days she goes to a pre school for 3 hours. My oldest girl, Heather is going to college. She began a few years ago but got pregnant with Natalie and that slowed things up a bit. She is doing so well. She is going to be a nurse. She is doing chemistry right now and wow, I have no clue how she does it. 3 days a week I either go to her house or she brings the kids to me while she is in class. Madison is gone just before Heathers 3 arrive. On those nights I make a big dinner like I did when all the kids were home and we have a great time together. We still have to paint lots of rocks because thats what they love to do at grammas house. Today Gage called me abd begged to come over. He said he didn't need me to babysit him or anything like that. He just needed to come over. I have been missing my little guy pretty bad so I had to say yes. Madison was gone less than 90 seconds when Gage walked in the front door. One hour later Heather brought the kids. It was a long day for the old gramma. I haven't even told you about Joes trip to Texas last week. His brother called him on a Sunday and told him the older sister (the one they don't like) was going to sell off all the family things in the house that she had not already taken. Mom went to a nursing home last year and the house has sat empty. They lived in that house since maybe 1949. All Joes memories start there. It is a small little cottage. As far as money goes, they were poor. I grew up in beautiful homes with pools and horses. I would take his home in a heartbeat. because it was filled with love. Someday I will talk about my dad. So what I am saying is my heart was broken about the death of Joes home. He went alone.It's 5 hours away. We have too many animals for me to go. Plus, even with the house being cloesd up Joe stayed there anyway. He went out and turned on the water for those 3 days he was there and nobody knows why the elec was turned back on when he got home. The old clock on the wall began to tick within an hour of him walking in the door. He fixed some of the leaks and did some minor repairs. He took his Mom the things she wanted with her. The rest she told him to take. Nobody else wanted to come and did not care. He is the youngest of 7 kids and the only one who calls his mom at least twice a week or more. We have Joes house now inside our house. He loaded the storage shed on the flatbed he took and filled it and brought it home. A pile of quilts and some old aprons made me smile. I love old aprons. The old chenille bathmat that Joe used as a little boy is now hanging on our tub. The clawfoot dresser that belonged to his grandparents has been reunited with the old iron bed she gave us 15 years ago.They are over 125 years old. Our friend Jody ( remember I told you about him, my ex from 1970-73 that I had the baby with that passed away when he was 2 weeks old) too much info you say? Ahh comon. Anyway, Jody and I are brother and sister and he and Joe are dear friends.I am drifting. Jody lives in Lubbock which is about 30 minutes from the town Joes mom lives. He drove over and helped Joe pack and load all day last Friday. I am using this story to give details of our lives here. It seems easier that way. I am walking through many piles of stuff this week. I hope to have time this week-end to get it all put away and cleaned up. And that brings me to tomorrow. I am not babaysitting any kids because I am going to be taking care of my ex husband after he has surgery. You couldn't ask for a better ex wife.LOL He is having gall bladder and gall bladder duct removed. They are doing it in a hospital 100 miles away. Our hospital is not where you go if you have a choice. He is terrified. His sister is taking him and bringing him back but there is nobody to stay with him. The kids have little kids and jobs and he will not let anyone take off work for him. He's weird. I told him I would do it and I guess that's what he was wanting but didn't want to ask. Joe and he are friends and Joe knows,gee there is not even a reason to say anything about me spending the night at his house. We are family and nothing more. I hope he will be fine by the next day so I can come home. Joes birthday is Saturday. Heather and I both had gall bladder surgery and aside from needing to sleep and take pain meds for a few days we were fine. So that's what I have been up to. Cady felt the baby kick night before last. She is 19 weeks now. Starting to show.She is so thin. Had to take her to the ER the night before the Texas trip. She couldn't catch her breath and her heart was racing. After 6 hours they said maybe she had plurosy. The next day her doctor called with results from the labwork that had been done the week before. She was very anemic.( if I am spelling everything wrong forgive me) Has to take iron pills. I looked up the symptoms and they are everything she told the docs in the ER. How did they miss that? I am all over her now. This is a typical post from me. Info scattered everyplace like a train wreck. I wish that I was an accomplished writer like some of you. I do keep up with all of you even though I cannot comment on most of you. My computer still just shuts down. Someday my husband will have the time to fix that for me. Till then, love you all.

It's Over!

2009-03-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

Was I brave? Nope. I tried to be. I did not cry or anything like that. I preferred not to be told about the procedure. They almost laughed out loud at me. You have to hear it. The law or something. I found that I am still able to appear to be listening while completely blocking out every single word. What everyone told me about the numbing shot hurting the worst was pretty much the truth. But even so ,that was within the limits of what I could stand. Like it matters anyway. lol What sent me over the moon was after they put an IV on my wrist and a bp cuff that was cutting into my flesh on the other they put one of those oxygen things on my face. Not a mask but something that everyone at some point wears on All My Children. Part of it went around my ears and was too tight. I had issues with the part that went up my nose. That shit was so cold and they went so far up there. I freaked out and began trying to take it off but the nurses caught hold of me and wanted to know what was my problem. I really didn't know except that it had to come off right now. They felt I had a bit of claustrophobia. It was decided that I didn't have to keep it in my nose, my mouth would be just as well. I would have liked it if they had cleaned it off before shoving it in though. I'm lucky that way. The whole thing didn't take too long. I had to stay for a couple hrs after just to make sure there was no bleeding. They even fed me. I am ready for bed. The meds have worn off and I am feeling a bit wounded. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I hope the results are good. Have a good week-end everyone. Thank you for your kind words. You are special.

2009-03-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Last March just before Gages baby brother was born, my 40 hrs wkly babysitting ended. Jessie is at home with both boys and baby Jody is still nursing. He will be one year old on April 1. It was hard for me to keep up with Gage and I knew I needed to stop. Even so, I have missed him more than I can say. He was still here on week-ends because Joe and I and Gage couldn't handle him being gone cold turkey like that. The part that has been nice for me is that I can help my daughter Heather with her kids twice a week while she attends classes. She has just a couple more classes and she will be in the nursing program. She is working herself silly in chemistry right now. It would be fine if it weren't for the fact that she has a family to care for and lots of homework. In between I have started sewing and knitting again. Time I have not had since 1976. I have been working on my embroidery skills again too. I am so happy with how things are going with all my projects. Last month my 22 yr old daughter Sara, decided she wanted to go to beauty school. That's when I knew that one way or another I would end up with my granddaughter Madison. I warned Sara that I am in testing right now since it has only been since Nov that I have had insurance. At any time my Dr may tell me I cannot put off treatment any longer. This Monday was her first day of class. Tomorrow is my liver biopsy. Mad and I did great all week. To tell the truth I am happy to have this time with her. She is 3 going on 16. She needs grandma time. We painted and colored and made jello. I traced her hand and embroidered her print. It came out lovely.She goes to a christian pre school 3 days a week for 3 hrs a day. I have had someone sick since last Friday. I am blessed that I was never one of them. Joe, Heather, Natalie, Seth, Sara, Madison and now Cady. Sara and Maddie had the stomach flu on Saras second day of class. Joe and Cady have bad head colds. Joe is better now. Heathers dr thought she may have an ulcer and put her on Protonix. She started it today. Within an hour she began having an alergic reaction and had to call an ambulance. She called Jimmy and told him to hurry home as she was alone with the 2 little ones. She told 911 to please not run the siren and scare the kids to death. Jimmy got there in time to let all those folks in the door and calm Natalie. Poor Heather. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and she was covered in red splotches. Her tongue had swollen and she couldn't catch her breath. She refused to go to the hospital. They told her just to take benadryl and keep track of her BP. By the time they left she was doing okay. All this has kept me from thinking about having that long needle stuck in my side tomorrow. To be honest, I am doing better than I expected. I have to do this so I may as well just get it over with. Besides, I read lots of blogs and this is so nothing compared to what some people deal with. Some of them small children. No, I got nothing to complain about. I got my house clean. To ward off any thinking I spent the evening baking chocolate chip cookies.I have a recipe that makes a large batch of the best moist cookies you ever ate. My grown kids all hit the cookie jar first thing when they come in the door. That and the fridge. Do you all do that? I love to have goodies waiting for them all. Also included pics of Cadys 17 week belly. I should have posted earlier shots. She is thin and had a totally flat tummy. Those days are over. We had an appt last monday with her o.b. We made her next appts with the midwife.She is the same one who delivered all but 2 of my other grandkids. She knows all of us and will let us all in the room with Cady. Cady asked my ex to be the step grandpa last week and he almost cried. She invited him to be there and in charge of pictures. He does a wonderful job. Joe and I will be busy sitting in the shower with her. Sara and I sat in there for most of her labor and it made all the difference. Okay, I can't put off going to bed any longer. I will take my camera and see if they let me snap a few in there. Good nite my friends. I am going to make a new handprint of Madison. I like the sewing I did but her hand looks way too big and her thumb,it looks weird I think. I am so picky.

2009-02-26T18:25:00.000-08:00

So, the tech called this AM and I have an appointment next Friday at 10 AM. I don't even care I just want it over. I was hoping that they would do it this Friday. The weather here is crazy. We slept with all our windows open last night and it was still too hot. A nasty wind has blown in and you cannot see more than a block ahead. Seasons don't change nicely in these parts. They are savagely blown in and out. No windows open tonight.

And It Was So

2009-02-24T13:08:00.000-08:00

My title means nothing as far as I can tell. I am feeling so many things right now. I went to the long dreaded Dr appt yesterday. Dr Worthington a gastroinerologist. Or some such spelling. My dr sent me to him to check on tumor markers she found last month. Since she said I had no tumor I wasn't all that worried. That is until I walked into the office. Cady was with me and I kept calm. I was good while he spoke to me as he went over my records that had been faxed over. He was highlighting here and there. I asked about having a liver biopsy and was told that would be done last after much other testing and time had passed. Then he came upon the page. The one that had the word hemochromatosis written there. my dr had told me last visit that I had a rare thing that was only found in 1996. It causes your body to load up on iron. Overload actually. This can lead to many bad things. This is also why now they will be doing things in reverse. I will have to have the biopsy first and soon. I was sent to the hospital for more bloodwork and sometime today they will fax the results to the dr. The test is just to make sure my blood clots properly. So if they call me today as they said they would I will be told to make that appt. I cannot tell you how afraid I am of this test. When I asked the dr yesterday if it hurt much he said with a smile "it sure does". Then he went on to tell me how he would feel if he knew he had to endure the same test. I think he could have just said "yeah lady it hurts." I left his office and headed to my spot. The library. It was closed when I went Friday. I needed some sewing books. I needed a book to read at night like I always do. It's been a few weeks and I really needed to be in a book. I found my sewing and quilting books. Then I typed in the book I wanted to be reading. I knew if they had it that it would be checked out. It was IN. I brought home "Eat, Pray, Love". I have heard wonderful things about this book and I am so happy to have it here in my hand. I am only just in the first 50 pages but it is wonderful. But I keep finding tears rolling down my face blurring my vision and making it impossible to read. Sentences should not begin with BUT. I do not know why I have to freak out but I am. Well, my mistake was looking up "liver biopsy". I didn't even finish and I had a panic attack. One that took my breathe away and scared me. Even with all that may be found about my liver and it is most likely not going to be good, I am mostly afraid right now of pain. How silly is that? I had 5 babies with nothing but lamaze breathing to get me through and I was fine. Surely this can't be as bad as birthing. I just need to hear that said. I need someone who has gone through this to tell me it's not that bad. Okay, that it's doable. is that a word? I mean it must be cuz people go through it everyday. Maybe it isn't that at all. Maybe I am afraid of what is coming.One year of nasty treatments that will save my life and why am I not jumping for joy that I have this insurance and have this opportunity? I am a big baby I guess. I would not mind if I could be knocked out for this test but thats not possible. You must be awake. It is the most beautiful day today. Birds singing and my trees are blooming. I know it will freeze again and the farmers are praying for the cherry and apple crop already. Tomorrow is my ex husbands birthday and I am making him german choc cupcakes. I don't want him to feel like I did this year. Joe is next in March. I keep thinking of how I will be able to do a yr on chemo. Being sick and how my grandkids will handle it. I think that bothers me most. It's the fear of the unknown. I want to be able to wait till after Cady has her baby. God, I hope it goes that way. One of my kids needs me almost everyday and there is no other grandma. I am it. I have no choice but I wish I did. Going to wash dishes. Oh, Cady is at work. She is supposed to do 2 half days a week but today is spay day and they are swamped. So they asked her to stay and help. She is so happy to be working. OKay, I am sorry if this is all over the place. I will get myself together.

It's Library Day

2009-02-20T13:05:00.000-08:00

I am so happy to be on my way to the library. It's been weeks and I never go this long in between visits. I am back into Beatrix Potter right now so I will be looking for at least 2 books on her life. I am interested in her life when she moved to the Lake District. She was a very interesting woman. One of my first books was The Tale of Two Bad Mice. When I was little it was she and Tasha Tudor that I loved most.

Mish Mosh

2009-02-18T15:11:00.000-08:00

Here is a group of pics that I have been saving up. 6 yr old grandsons riding their dirtbikes. They are going to be racing this summer. The bikes are so little and the boys look way cute in their gear. Sewing projects I have actually started and finished. I am about to begin a small quilt. I want to do embroidery on a few of the squares too. I have been practicing the embroidery for the last several days and nights. I just love to do handwork. It is one thing that gives me a real feeling of accomplishment. Back in my hippie days in the 70's my boyfried and husband had many beautiful items jeans and shirts I had done lots of embroidery on and they were my pride and joy. Back in those days I learned most of what I knew from my favorite book "Living On The Earth" by Alicia Bay Laurel. I still have that old book that Jody bought me in 1971. I have cooked or sewed most everything in that old thing. The dried fruit thing is a project I began before Xmas and just finished. The pillow is a project I began for Heather 12 yrs ago. I hate that I let things slide like that. The kitchen window is a pic of the new curtains I just made. That window is my favorite spot and is full of things I love.ps, I just added a few more pics. Cady getting her sonagram and Jessie with baby Jody and sick Gage. Jody was trying to nurse and Gage was in his way. Amalah had a beautiful post today about breast feeding. It made me cry. I miss so much holding my babies and them looking up at me and grinning and the sound of them gulping as my milk let down and it came a bit too fast. Cady was 3yrs and a few months when she was finally weaned. She was my last baby and I let her go as long as she wanted. Now she thinks I was crazy. Well she did till she found out about the baby coming to her. She plans to breast feed like everyone else in the family. I am so glad that they all chose to give it a try. I miss a snuggly baby in bed with us and hearing them snort as they root for a boob to latch on to. It's not for everyone and that's okay, really to each his own. Sorry, having a mommy moment.

It Burns!

2009-02-17T12:37:00.000-08:00

What burns? I suppose I should wash it out of my hair but I am not wasting my money. And I hate the dull look of my hair when it needs color. For some reason it is burning my skin. Really it feel like it is eating my flesh. Only a few more minutes and I will wash it out. My skin is red and looks odd. What an idiot you say. You are right. So while I wait for time to be up I thought I would pop in here and say hello to you all. I think of you each day and check on you all to see how you are. I just never feel up to posting. Maybe there is just too much to say. Cady is doing great. Her boss put her on leave without pay last month and then when he ran into her at Walmart he asked her back. She cannot do any big lifting or handle cat boxes. She is just going back 2 half days a week right now but she will be glad to have a few $ of her own. She is 15 weeks now. We got to see the baby last week. Already a major cutie pie. Cady is under weight and we are trying to get her to eat more. She is feeling better now. She broke up with boyfriend/babydaddy. After all thats happened now she finally sees what we all told her way back when. They have nothing in common and he is not for her. She used to get all dolled up and wait for him to come pick her up for a date. Most times he never showed. She would be crushed. Then he dumped her last spring and she cried for him all summer. She started seeing Brian and we were all happy. She and Brian love to ride dirt bikes or 4 wheelers and be outside alot. Mostly they laugh alot when they are together. Then school started and Sergio found out she was seeing Brian and he wanted her back. Back she went. Sergio just turned 18 yesterday. Brian is 20 and in college. I have no idea what made her open her eyes but she broke up with Sergio last month. She lets him come to dr appts and keeps him informed as to all news about baby. Brian and her are seeing each other and she is very happy. I have no idea how this will end but I am glad to see her laugh again. I actually feel sorry for Sergio. He writes her such sad notes and cards. I know it is for the best.
I am spending lots of time sewing right now. Made all my girls quilted potholders for Valentines Day. They came out real pretty. Been a while since I did any of that and I forgot how much work it is and how much I love it. Getting all those pieces to match up just perfect. Will post pics after I wash this stuff out of my hair.

Excuses

2009-01-29T23:16:00.000-08:00

I am not sure what my major malfunction is. I want to post but I do not. I love to read all of yours though. For some reason my computer shuts down if I comment on many of you. The only 2 blogs that I can still comment at are Molly and Frema. I tried to comment on Molly D's and no go. I asked Joe to check it out for me and one day he may. He says my computer is just plain old and is about to hang it up. Today my son Billy turned 30. Wow, it seems like just a few yrs ago but not 30. He was my first homebirth. He was born in Calif. Midwives were still kinda underground back then. Even though I have lost one baby at 4 months pregnant and had my little boy die when he was 2 weeks old I felt like homebirth was the way to go. As it turned out all my births were easy and except for me always having a bleeding problem after, I was good to go. Both my boys were born in my bed and my 3 girls were at the hospital. Hospitals are better about birthing now and I would not mind at all giving birth there. No more enemas and shaving.UGH! I have a habit of tearing off my clothes during labor so I have no good pics to share. Speaking of tearing off my clothes, if the hotflashes keep on as they have been I will be begging my DR to put me back on hormones. It's pretty terrible. I have kept a record for 2 weeks. Some are so bad I find myself standing by the bed ripping off socks and shirts while I am still asleep.I wake to find I am covered in sweat. Then 5 minutes later I am freezing again. Back on go my clothes. And so it goes all night.They are lasting as long as 6 minutes and some are like labor pains. They just keep coming. I was not prepared for this. I have taken black cohosh. It used to really help. I finally just got up and left church last Sunday. Too many and too strong. When they make me breathe hard enough that people turn to see what the heck I am doing ,it's time to split. Hotflashes are the one good thing about having a house that is always cold. I have taken so many cute pictures of my grandkids to share with you and I feel sad that I have not put any on here.
Oh, Cady is doing fine. She is now 12 weeks. She is getting her GED. She is also getting her job back soon. Too much morning sickness to make it to school. She has done her testing to see what classes she needs. Sara has decided to go to beauty school with her best friend. Madison goes to preschool 3 days a week now and is very happy. I am so happy that Sara has found something she wants to do. I am going to have to help a bit. I will find out next month if I can wait a whole year for chemo to begin. That will work out fine. Sara will be in school for 1 yr. I am feeling pretty good aside from the hotflashes. I am always sleepy but I am getting used to it. You would thing I would have more to say after all this time. If not more at least better quality. Sorry. Gonna find a few pics. Hope to be back sooner next time.

pictures here are 2 or 3 birthdays and new years and Seths art show. Also Seth learning to ride his motorcycle. he will be racing next month. he's so damn cute.

Praise The Lord!

2009-01-20T10:09:00.000-08:00

It has been forever since I posted. I was waiting. Waiting to have a more positive feeling in my heart. Today would be that day. My daughter Heather and I shared this wonderful moment in time with one another by telephone. She cried as Obama was sworn in. I had a most wonderful feeling of hope and pride. I feel relieved. Let us all pray for God to keep safe the Obama family.

Lets Do A Picture Page

2008-12-28T00:38:00.000-08:00

It's late and I am so sleepy. I will just show you the last few days. Kids doing cookies at gramma and grampas house Christmas eve. Ducks last night in the snow. Dogs this morning in the snow. Endless pictures of all my decorating. I love the way my little place looks all Christmased out. I just want to leave everything up all year. And to think I was actually crying about the fake tree. Cady got sick before the sun came up Christmas morning. We thought it was from all the tamales she ate the night before. It is a New Mexico tradition to eat tamales on Christmas and the eve of. She never got well and is still sick. Low grade fever and dizzy and weak. We are forcing water down her but it aint easy. She is dehydrated I am sure. Today(Sunday) is our anniversary. We think we have been married for 17 years. Maybe 16 neither of us can remember and I have no idea where the license is. I think Cady was 1 yr old at our wedding so that would make it 17. We got married in our living room by the Christmas tree with a big fire burning. It was nice. 30 people fit into our house that day. New Years is the 20 year anniv of the night we met. Anyhow, here are the pics. Hope you had a merry day. love you all.

It's Official

2008-12-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

It's 1:30 AM. It is now Christmas eve. Joe got called to a fire an hour ago. I am so afraid it could be a house fire. I spent all day on my house and even though I went a little crazy, I love the way it looks. Gage came over late tonite so Joey and Jessie could go shopping for him. I know Gage will have a fun Christmas morning. Everyone in the family got extra things for him and baby Jody. Joey tried so hard to find work but until yesterday there was nada. In the end it has all worked out. I still have to make iceing for my cookies and some fudge. That will have to be done tomorrow. I am sleepy. POsting the pics from tonight. Little Gage was so sleepy. He posed for a few pics and got his dads old blankie and went to sleep. I love you all, good night now. deb

Christmas Eve Eve

2008-12-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

(warning. this is kind of mixed up and is full of this n that. I am leaving it since you are used to that with me)

Joe got in at 2 AM. He went to work 2 hrs late but still went. I do not know how he does it. Here are the pics that I took of the tree thing. As you can see, I was wearing jammies and my hair had not seen a brush all day and no make-up. Lovely. Cady and Joe set up the tree on Saturday. Joey has been out of work since his entire crew got laid off at Thanksgiving. He had decided to go to college. He is going to start when school starts up after holiday break. Jimmy (Heathers husband) put him to work yesterday at the shop. (Pro Lube) He will have a few dollars. We have all taken up the slack and bought lots of presents for Gage and Joey. Gage will never know this was the hard year for his mom and dad. Joe got him a huge Tonka dump truck and a talking Diego doll that Gage asked Santa for. Thanks to Biddie there will be lots of extra gifts under the tree for Gage. Thank you for your kind heart. I know you are having a hard time yourself and yet you included my little guy. I do feel very blessed this year. The wind is blowing very hard and it is so dark and cold. I hope we get some snow. I have so much work and decorating yet to do but I am feeling alot more in the spirit now. I pray that I will get the cookie dough made in time. I may even brush my hair today. I am getting to work and I will check in later. Till then, I pray you are cozy and warm and have your cookies made.

Finally, It is Done

2008-12-22T21:59:00.000-08:00

After everything I said about the tree it took till tonight to get it finished. Joe and Cady put it together on Sunday. The weather was nice and Joe wanted to work in the yard. He promised to find the lights and get them on the tree Sun night so we could decorate the poor thing. Joe was kinda cranky and had lots to do for his flight the next day so nothing was done about the tree. Joe had grabbed the boxes with lights in them and told me they were the lights that go on the house and he had no idea where the tree lights were. I talked to him several times while he was in New Orleans about the tree and finally today I fell apart. Like he could help. He is hundreds of miles away. Christmas is just days away and the tree was naked. Boxes piled everyplace waiting to decorate the tree. I stayed up till 2 AM sewing the blankets for 2 of my grandsons. It all had to be dome by hand as I used fleece and it just doesn't work on the sewing machine. I also finished the scarves I knitted for Madison and Natalie. I am so happy that I actually completed those projects. After seeing Joes plane take off, Cady and Heather and I went to the mall and a few wonderful shops that were not at the mall. This is my 3rd week-end at a mall. I am not able to handle this much walking I guess. I felt pretty bad all last week and then today I thought I was in the same shape. It is so depressing to have so many ideas and lists of things to accomplish and my body has no intention of going along. Sara called and found me in tears. She loaded up Maddie and appeared at my door 15 minutes later. Cady came in the door right behind her. Sara began the search for the lights. Right away she found that Joe was wrong about the lights. Sara and I put the lights on the tree and then we all got busy and now I am a happy mom. The tree looks just wonderful. It looks just like our real trees always look. I still have much decorating left to do but the tree is up and I feel like maybe I can get myself together this year in time to make it nice for my family. Christmas memories are not about the gifts you get. To our family it is all the things we do together and seeing the kids sing Silent Night in the school play. It's reading the story of Jesus birth and then The Night Before Christmas and knowing the kids get it. We totally do the whole Santa thing here but Jesus as well and one does not knock out the other. I love Santa and never stopped believing. In just a very short amount of time I have come to love this baby. I find myself hovering over Cady already. I am amazed how God works these things out. Joe is starting to feel better about it too and that is a big burdon lifted. Joe loves babies and we already know he will take over this baby as soon as it is born. I love you all for your loving comments to me. This was so hard those first few days. Now it's hard to believe that my heart was so broken. It's just after midnight now and Joe is less than 100 miles from home. I am so happy he made such good time. Going to make him some hot cocoa and bacon and eggs and then off to bed. The wind is kicking up and it is cold out there. I hope I can get all the decorating over tomorrow. The grandkids love it but so do my kids. I hope the time never comes when I can no longer do all the things I do now. I guess it will be like tonight. Sara heard my cry and came a runnin. I will post some pictures as soon as Joe helps me with them. My love and best wishes to you my sweet friends. You are a special.

Getting With The Program

2008-12-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

For the most part I am over being sad. Maybe it was going to the big mall in El Paso with Heather and Jimmy last Sunday that got my heart to changing. I saw some of the cutest baby clothes in the world and that was all she wrote. This baby is going to be a girl and her name is Isabella. Cady is at her first sonagram appt right now. I am not there because I have the flu. Boyfriend is supposed to meet her there but just in case he cannot make it Heather( big sis) will be ready to jump in. I had to call work for Cady to let them know she will be late and I told them the news. The woman I always end up talking to is such a big bitch. Cady is staying there until next week and get her damn Xmas bonus. After that she can look for another part time job. I can get upset with my daughter but nobody else better give her any trouble. The only time I ever got a ticket was for threatening to hit a police officer for arresting my 14 yr old son for something he did not do. Yes, I have a real trashy side what can I say? The judge laughed at the ticket and gave me no fine. I have since learned to control my temper a little better.
Joe is flying to New Orleans on Sunday. Picking up a vehicle on Mon and driving it back here. I always wanted to see the French Quarter when I was younger. Hope he takes a few pictures for me. Sunday before last is when Cady gave us her news. I had cried on and off all that day over having to put up a fake tree this year. Never in my life have a had a fake tree. I don't know why it such a big thing for just this one year. I had to make a choice. We don't have the money this year and I have 8 grandkids to buy gifts for. If I spend 60.00 on a tree it will put a big dent in my funds. Okay, no big deal. Then finding out grandbaby # 9 is on the way kind of took the importance of the tree off my list. There is still no tree up in our home. I have decorated the mantle and piano and all the doorways. I cannot bring myself to put together a tree. This is a big and very beautiful fake. Heather used it in her den last year. My dad is rolling over in his grave just knowing that I have it in my house. I am not sure if it's about me and my dad or what it is. He took me with him each year to pick just the right tree. It was a big deal. Christmas was my dads favorite thing all year. This sounds like self therapy. Tonight no matter what, before we turn out the lights there will be a tree up and I know I will be happy. I am so blessed how can I waste time on something so small?

So Sad

2008-12-12T09:15:00.000-08:00

I have not posted in a while. I don't know if anyone even comes here anymore. I am feeling like the words have to be pulled from my gut. First let me say I feel bad for the post all about my back and all my other complaints. I wasn't sure if I should go there but then decided I would. My brother got angry with me and told me I sounded like Grandma. I was so relieved that it wasn't all in my head. Guess I just didn't need to give some much info. So I am sorry about that. Next is something that has been eating at my heart since last Sunday night. I debated putting it out there for all to see. But you are my friends. You have helped me in ways you cannot know. So here goes, Sunday night Cady (my barely 18 yr old daughter) handed me a piece of paper. It was from a walk-in clinic. I read on it that the pregnancy test they performed had come up positive. I read it again because I wasn't sure what I had read. Then looking up at Cady, I dropped the paper on the floor and left the room. I sat alone in the dark of my bedroom and just stared into the darkness. My Moma died in 1982 and not since then have I cried that kind of cry. Joe was in his office on his computer and unaware that our lives had just been changed forever and without our having any input into the matter. All her dreams of college and even graduating next year are now going to be a struggle at best. Boyfriend will not even be 18 till Feb. His biggest goal in life is driving around with his brothers car club on the week-ends in his crappy car with gas bought by his mom. They are a poor family and have more than they can handle already. So this will be our baby. Cady just doesn't get it. That night I called Sara (daughter # 2, 21 yrs old) and asked her to please come get me. She asked me if Cady had told me the news. Before she arrived I had told Cady she would be telling her dad. I wasn't gonna be the one to break his heart,. But in the end I just walked in and asked him if he would pray for us. I never said for what. He held my hands and said a very sweet prayer and somehow it had all the right words in it. When he finished I blurted out the words no parent wants to hear. Sara came and it was then that Cady went in to her dad and as she cried she hugged his neck and said "dad I am sorry". I left the house until way late when I could finally stop crying. I know we will all love this baby but today I am not feeling that. I feel so sad at the loss of the life she could have had. The struggle it will be just to get her through the rest of this year and next. I could teach her a lesson and make her see why it is that I cry about this everyday. I could not help. But that really isn't an option. In the end boyfriend cannot be counted on to help. I really give him little or no thought at all. She was talking so much about after she was out of high school and could get a job and her own place or a room mate and go to college. Now she will be here at home with her mom and dad trying to juggle school and a baby. If she were a very motivated person it would be different. She is a very young 18. She has been protected and not out in the world. I have to remind her to do everything. I now have to stop and let her learn how to handle her life. I took her to the library and checked out 8 books on pregnancy and birth. She is reading them. And if you think she is at all upset about this, no she is not. So many times this week I wanted to knock her head off. I have 5 kids and 8 grandkids. Maybe I am selfish but I was through having babies. I love being a grandma. I took care of my oldest grandson for 8 months when he was about 2. Heather's life went into the toilet for a while. She got herself together and is the best mom I know. I took care of Gage while my son and his wife( Joey and Jessie) worked for almost 3 years. The hard part of that is feeling like he is mine. he still wants to be here with grampa all the time and we miss him so much it hurts. He lives only 2 miles away. My kids all take care of their kids and Joe and I babysit now and then. The other times the kids are just here cuz we want them to be. I just can't believe that I our lives took this turn and now here we are. So, I could go on and on but I shouldn't. Like I said, certainly we will love this baby and welcome it into our family. Everyone is already saving cribs and clothes. But for right now, I grieve.

I Take It Back

2008-11-26T10:04:00.000-08:00

I was feeling all Martha Stewart last night. That feeling is nowhere to be found today. I don't know what I was thinking. Making everything from scratch, ugh! I have no choice now I have to make the damn pie crusts but my heart is not in it. Oh I thought I was so Suzy Homemaker didn't I? Suzy already got 2 more splinters in her hand and finger from hauling wood for the fire. One new burn on my arm to match the one I got Monday by lifting my arm up before it was out of the woodstove. I want my mom. I did find that lime jello receipe though. Do people know how much work women go to for holiday feasts?

Wide Awake And Sweaty

2008-11-26T00:41:00.000-08:00

Sounds delightful eh? I would like to be sleeping at this hour but it seems my body has finally noticed that it is no longer getting a daily dose of hormone replacement pills. If not for my big blood pressure scare recently that got me reading about what a stroke can do to me, well I would be stuffing those little pills down my throat right now. Really, I would rather deal with hotflashes than a stroke. The hotflashes are like labor pains, they are coming closer together each night. I get about 30 minutes and another comes along. I know I could have lots more to deal with so I will shut up.
I am in the kitchen all day tomorrow. I decided not to buy any pre made anything this year except Mrs Cubbisons cornbread stuffing bread crumbs. I love that stuff. I hate Stove Top. My kids won't eat it. I am making pie crusts too. I never used to buy pre made but with 5 kids one day I decided to give myself a break. Nobody likes the store bought crust so since I only have to bake 2 pies I thought I would go ahead and make the damn dough mess all over the table. Pumpkin and pecan this year. Joe asked for refrigerator potato yeast rolls. (geez, what a mouthful) I am looking for a good jello thing to make too. There was one made with lime jello and cottage cheese and pecans with pineapple. Thats all I know about it. I loved it 20 years ago. Anyone have that receipe? I am making everything ahead of time that I can. This is the only year my family will not be together. Everyone had to go to the other grandparents house . I have to share. But they will all be over. They only like my food. So I will make enough for them to eat later. Sara is cooking her first turkey this year so I will be on the phone with her off and on all day. Heather too. Joe and I invited my friend Debra and her husband to eat with us. She is a potter and also makes soap and beautiful hand made paper. She's a riot and we will have alot of fun and laugh alot. Oh how I look forward to laughing. This has been a stressed week and it's only Wednesday. I hope all of you have a happy day with loved ones and eat too much and laugh alot too. God Bless, deb

Beware The Pain Pill

2008-11-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

After many months of complaining and crying and whining and making others around me want to flee to the hills I was blessed with pain meds. This blessing has two faces. One lets you forget your aches and pains and get on with living and working. Baking and hanging laundry out in the wonderful fall smelling yard. I shoveled poop and enjoyed just being outside. I sewed a lovely fleece blanket for baby Jody and made plans for more for the little ones for Christmas. The only time I sat down was to watch my beloved "House" on TV. The "House" marathon was the 2nd best thing about election day. I wander do I not?
So back to the subject,I totally enjoyed my busy week-end. I woke up last night in a great deal of pain. Yes, you see where I am going don't you? Pain serves a purpose. Without it we tend to forget to take it easy. I had to hold the walls just to make it down the hall to the potty. Joe told me all day to chill out but I just laughed at him. I was living again. Doing the simple chores that had become dreaded and seemed to take forever to complete. Our house is old and needs many repairs. The ceiling is just awful. The old wood floors need to be stripped and redone. If you do not make a fire you will get very cold since there is not really a heater.( the one there is heats the hall and nothing else,I give permission to use it only when little ones are here and are fresh from the tub) Even so, as I turned off the last light late last night ,I stood in the hall and admired all the work I had done and all the sweet old things that cover every flat surface. I felt blessed beyond measure. My old house needed me to clean and bring out the fall decorations and light the pumpkin cinnamon candles. It wanted to smell like the kids all love it to. I will have to keep myself in check and not overdo again. But this one time it was so worth it.

Where Did The Time Go?

2008-11-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

I never intended to stay gone for so long. Lots been going on and I read all of you but I never write. Spent the night at my daughter Heather's house with the boys last week. Her husband had to have the 2nd part of the surgery on his ear to restore hearing. She took the baby Natalie (Natalie and Maddie are going to be 3 in Dec and Jan but they are babies to me) with her and sister Sara and Madison went along so that Heather could be at the hospital with Jimmy. I love being with my grandkids so this was great. Christian is 13 now and it is still hard to believe. He is the oldest grandchild. Seth is 7 . Getting off the subject again. Jimmy is fine and will be finding out next week how much hearing is coming back. Went to my Dr appt on Friday to hear the results of all the testing I had done the week before. I was pretty scared I gotta tell you. What if nothing showed up on the MRI about my back? I had so many people tell me that they had even gone through surgery for back pain and they never could find anything on the MRI that pointed out the exact problem. As it turned out that wasn't the case with my MRI. It showed plenty of problems. It was strange. I was scared when before she told me what was wrong, my Dr told me she was sorry about my back. We didn't get to talk that much about the back because my blood pressure was very high and she needed to get that down first. I am not sure about what is good and bad but I do know that 200/109 was not too good. She made me lie down and take some meds and call my daughter to come pick me up. She gave me a short while and if my BP didn't come down I had to go to the hospital. It did and so I didn't have to go to the dreaded place. Sara came to fetch me home. We had to go to Walmart to fill a script for clonidine and pain meds. And we stood in line for 45 minutes. She is going to send me to physical therapy and my hope is to be able to come off pain meds at some point in time. I know that just having them for the last few days has changed my life. I still hurt some but that's okay. It is not what it was. Since we did not get to talk much about what the terms on the MRI sheet meant I will just give you a few words in case you are interested. She was more concerned with the Bp and will meet with me next week to go over that and the bloodwork results that were not in yet. Displaced S1 nerve root,paracentral disc protrusion,large central annular tear and protrusion , arthritis- ahh hell, there is no point in listing more. I have no clue what it all means but I will next week. I could sit here and look it all up and probably will later tonight. Just spent all day Fri and Sat sleeping like Dr told me to. I found that when the Dr tells you to be lazy and do nothing there is no guilt. That doesn't apply today. I have to get laundry done so I will get going. Have a wonderful Sunday my sweet friends. P.S. It's been a few hours since I posted this. I feel strange telling all of this. I want you to know that I realize I am blessed that this is all I am dealing with. Some people have it so much worse than I ever will.

Home

2008-11-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight Joe made our first fire of the winter. I had to move all the pretties I had on top of the woodstove and I hated to see them go. But I loved the smell of that fire. Our house is old and not insulated all that well. When it gets cold it isn't kidding around. In between cleaning and laundry I managed to sit cuddled up on the couch with my Joe and eat popcorn and enjoy home together. He works all the time. He never gets home from work and plops on the couch. He goes right out the back door and finds something that needs doing. In an old house you don't have to look very far. I have not been feeling well for some time now and he never complains that his laundry is not done. He will wash it himself if I don't manage it. He will help with dinner if I ask. So will Cady for that matter. Tonight I felt better due to my Dr ordering the tests I have needed for one year and also gave me a limited supply of pain meds till the results are in. I did not get the tests due to no insurance. Now I have it and I am having a total overhaul. With little pain to deal with I was up and running for the last 4 days. The housework is caught up and I feel like a real wife and mom again. I felt so bad not helping and always dragging around. I never knew how good I felt until I felt bad. I am hoping for physical therapy. My results will all be in next Friday. Please say a prayer for me. I am a bit frightened about what I will hear next week. Have a great Sunday my dear friends.

My Friend

2008-10-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

I posted a long time ago about my friend Lynne. We go back to about 1968. My kids call her their other mother and hers call me the same. She never gave up on me. The drug years, the drunk years the recovery times. She postponed moving to be with her husband to be here with me and help me through Cadys birth. She was to be a homebirth like my boys. I have never had a friend like her other than her. She could hear me say one word and know if I wasn't okay and she would jump in her car and be right there. We have always done everything together. This time of year is our best time. She drove from Wyo. while in law school so we could be together on Oct 9th for our yearly John Lennon birthday celebration. We would go to the mts and pick apples and then come to my house(her old house) and put in all our Beatle tapes and music and make apple everything. Pies and apple butter and canned apple sauce. The kids would gather round and listen to us talk about the stuff we did as teens. Last year I found her old friend online and he moved here from Denver and moved in with Lynne(she got rid of the crazy hubby finally after 26 yrs) he was an old friend of mine as well. I almost married his brother when I was 16. I was heartbroken when lloyd decided that he could not deal with anyone else being in Lynnes life and she was so happy that she didn't seem to notice that he had pushed us all away. They sold her house and moved 100 miles away to Las Cruces. I am there several times a month but never see her. I tried to talk to her but she was changed. At one point she did let me know she felt bad about the way things were. I know she has no idea why I stopped inviting her to family functions. My family hates Lloyd. I do not like him. He's a loud bossy man who always has a drink in his hand. I write her now and then and she writes back but it's not the same. She told me 2 months ago that she had him move out but he is there alot. I know she will get rid of him at some point. I really felt it didn't matter to me. She was in charge of the way things went with us not him. But no matter what I said I cry for her at least once a week. Making an apple pie yesterday made me miss her. I thought I may write her last night. When I got on my pc there was a letter from her. She's coming to town today and asked if she could come over for a visit. I am beside myself with joy. We have not been alone together(without lloyd) in a year. No girltalk with my best friend in a year. She will be here in an hour and we will drink a pot of coffee and have pie and be us again. My heart is pounding. What if we cannot be us again? Maybe things are forever ruined. I think they will be fine. She's my touch stone. I have no time to go into it and you may not care anyway but I also was there for her. But I always felt like she had a big job being my friend. I was alot of work in the old days.

The Clan At The County Fair

2008-10-26T00:58:00.000-07:00

Eating is what we do best at the fair. It rained alot this year and it made it interesting and fun. Okay, and wet.

picture page!

2008-10-26T00:17:00.001-07:00

I have so many photos I took all summer just for this blog. I never used so many of them and so I am going to do it now. Waiting for Cady to get home from a date and I must pass the time. This will be a Cady page. Some old shots( like 5 years old or more) and some recent.

Happy Birthday Baby

2008-10-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

Here is the picture of Cady and Brandi. This was the one they liked. I am going to return to Mt Foto and get a smiling color version. I remember so clearly my 18th birthday. Don't ask me what I did last week but I remember 1971.

Oops

2008-10-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

What can I say? I went to sleep a while ago and have been trying to get myself together ever since. Health issues I won't bore you with. My insurance starts Nov 1st. I am hanging on till then.
Friday my baby turned 18 years old. Um, hm, I just don't know how to tell you how much I want my little girl back. Time is marching on and on. Joe had to leave that day for a mens retreat in Ruidoso ( he is in the band and had to go) so he took the whole day off and we took Cady and her best friend to Cloudcroft(they took off half a day from school) and we had lunch at Cadys favorite spot. Then we wandered down the boardwalk and took the girls to Mt Foto and they had some old time pictures taken together. Brandi had her birthday last week( she was born on Oct 9th, John Lennons birthday) so it was a double celebration. The picture is so cute and when Joe gets home tomorrow he will scan it for me and you can see it. The entire clan came over that night and we had a party . Just our family and Brandi and I tell you it was insane. We have outgrown this house. I did up some great decorations. I combined Halloween and harvest. The little kids played stick the nose on the pumpkin and had a ball. I bought prizes for them all. I was so burned out that I forgot to take even one picture. My ex loves Cady and he brought his camera so thank goodness I have some. I will when he sends them tomorrow. Today was the last soccer game for Jaylon and Seth. My son Billy (Jaylons dad) and his best pal are coaches and are so good with those kids it makes me burst with pride to watch them. They pay for their team to have their names on the backs of their jerseys and buy them giant trophies with each childs name on them. The city does only the bare minimum. They make sure every child plays no matter how well they can play and even though winning is great it's all about the kids all being part of the team and feeling proud of themselves. Their team "The Dark Knights" was undefeated this year. Jaylon and Seth are both 7 yrs old. Am I bragging, yes. It's all good. Joe comes home tomorrow and I am making him an apple pie. This is my normal jumble of thoughts that may or may not make sense. Kinda like me.

posting a couple pics of my grandsons. i never had cousins to play with. they love each other. Seth is the son of my oldest, Heather. Seth has long hair and Jaylon, not. Gage has decided he wants hair like Sethy. I know my son Joey will not go for that. I did not cut my boys hair when they were little and they act like it was some form of abuse. i like boys with long hair, always have.

Wedding For Strangers

2008-10-04T10:02:00.000-07:00

I spent all week in town helping my sweet friend Linda do prep work for a wedding that is today. We do not know these people nor do they even live here. The couple drove all night from San Diego. Somebody who knows somebody thought it would be a snap to throw together a wedding for this very nice couple. Myself and Linda have health issues although she is much worse than I. I have made it due to the kindness of a few friends with pain meds to spare. Linda also did Joeys wedding and she does such a beautiful job. The brides family all came to help yesterday and we finished up at 11 last night. I had my camera since I brought it to takes pics of my grandson in the parade. I went ahead and took a few of the rehearsal. My camera is a ghetto disaster. Held together with scotch tape and rubberbands. Tis my shame. A new one is coming to me in the near future. When they saw me taking a few shots of them last night they realized they had not remembered to find a photographer for today. Joe was recruited to run sound and I am now taking the pics and oh yes, running the video camera. How can I do all that? If the bride and her brides maid were not the sweet girls that they are I would not be doing this. I am worried about doing a good job. My dad was a photographer before I was born. We had a darkroom in our garage. I remember my mom getting hit for not having a good enough background in her pictures. Later he was a photographer for NASA. My pics are for fun. But someones wedding ? I feel my dad standing over me. Maybe he's watching over me eh? I will be using a better camera today so that will help. I just feel kinda stressed. I will do the best I can and hope it's enough. My camera has a weak flash so as you can see it's good I will be using another camera. I like the way the decorating came out except that I think we should have ironed the tablecloths. Picky picky. Not bad considering we only had what was around the church to decorate with. I don't think anything was bought and nothing rented. Everytime we do a wedding there we aquire a few more things to use for the next one. After we all got finished and out of there last night Joe and I headed to Applebees. Just as we got into the parking lot my cell rang. Cady had just got bit by a black widow. We never even made it out of the truck. Told Sara to call the ER and Heather told me to come by and get benadryl and take to Cady. Cady was at Saras. We live in a small town but still we are driving like mad thinking she could be dieing. 1 block away from Saras she calls and tells me it's cool. Dr said if she was gonna to have a bad reaction she would be doing it by now. Shit, we turn around and go back to Applebees. Joe and I are tired and grumpy and bickering all the way like small children. When we finally get inside the door we are met by a greeter being giving crap by a drunk guy who thinks he should be allowed to go out the door with a tall glass of beer and telling him how he can kick his ass. I am in no mood. Open my big mouth with our church friends someplace there and yell "ah fuck dude, it's too late and we are too tired, move the hell out of our way". I am so lucky that guy didn't smash me in the face with his glass of beer. Maybe it helped to have a 6ft 4 grumpy hungry husband standing behind me. Some days just seem to go on forever.

Homecoming Parade

2008-10-03T23:55:00.000-07:00

Here is my grandson Christian on the jr high football float. He's the cute one in the middle. # 60. He turned 13 in June. I'd like to know how those years went by so damn fast. He's the oldest grandchild. He's still my little guy even though he is now taller than me.

This Mom's Life

2008-09-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

Oktoberfest is something I planned to do a post about. Until I went. It was very much as I percieve a Roman Festival to be. No rules as long as you did not fight. I did not enjoy more than 20 minutes of the 4 hrs I was there. I have been 3 other times and never noticed what must have been going on around me. We were always inside the hangar doing the Chicken Dance and eating and laughing. We all stayed together and I never wandered about. I will have to put some thought into a post about that for later. My big day is waiting. Today is library day for me! I wonder if it is sad that of all that life has to offer a person my big thrill is to wander the isles of the little library in search of new places to go and people from other moments in time to meet. I finished my 3 books a few days ago and that is too many nights with no book. I read Falling Angels, The Keeper Of The Mill and The Lady and The Unicorn. I am working my way through all of Tracy Chevalier. I wish Frank McCourt had another few books in him. I love his style. I am on my way, have a wonderful Tuesday my friends. Hey, any ideas for a book? I do not read sci-fi. I went through a Robin Cook phase 6 years ago and loved them. But I am more into peroid stories. I loved Interview With A Vampire. Gosh I must have read that in 1977. It was a good book. But I am not into that genre either. I have walked out of only 2 films in my life , Interview With A Vampire and Eyes Wide Shut. Both Tom Cruise films. I don't think it was Toms fault. I thought the Vampire book was an interesting tale and most of that part was not included in the film. I guess that's why they say books are always better than the movie. Tis true.

I Should Be Cleaning or Something

2008-09-26T15:11:00.000-07:00

Joe has been gone for 3 days driving cars here and there. Oklahoma (do you sing it when you write it? I do) first and then back to New Mexico (northern) then on to Prescott Az. From there he went to Truchas NM and he's on his way home now. That's the longest trip he's been on. He makes extra $ at work by delivering new cars to wherever. He takes them on a large flatbed. I have missed him and will be so happy when he rolls in later. Things always have a way of messing up when he is gone. Like toilets and such. Not too much trouble this time except that I finally did what I had managed to avoid for many years. I grabbed my water my purse and cell phone and ran out the door. It was just as the door slammed shut that I knew I was screwed. I left the keys hanging in their spot inside. We got a new door 2 years ago and nobody has keys but Joe and I. Did I ever feel stupid. While being eaten alive buy mosquintos I called my ex husband and he came out and after much work and may bites he got a window open. I always make sure the house is locked up tight. Damn. There was one window that had a loose lock and he managed to bend his screw driver and work it open. Now I have to get Joe to buy a new lock since I no longer feel safe in a house with loose locks. Old house old style windows. Going to Oktoberfest tomorrow evening. Hope they do the log dance this year. Joe is ready for some fun. That German beer will kick yer butt. I drink only a taste. I do not enjoy being drunk. But a slight buzz would be nice. Hope you have a great week-end.

We Had Fun

2008-09-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

This was a fantastic week-end. Spent all day in Ruidoso at Aspencade. The big bike rally. I used all my space on my digital so I had to buy a little throw away at 7-11 to take pictures of Brandi and Cady racing that night. First time I went. I got so scared I started to cry at first but then out of total shame I got it together. Brandi drives and Cady is co-pilot. She helps with the gears and I think they laugh a whole lot. Like when they lost control and hit the wall and almost flipped. When they came into the stands all the kids mobbed them it was so cute. I think they are the only girls out there. It's all men. I will get the pics back in a few days and post them. I noticed that I am way behind with posting pictures. I never put any up from the renaissance fair. Or several birthdays. I gotta catch up. Till then here is one of my mom and dad before I came along. I miss them so much.

Guess Who Was Back In The ER Today?

2008-09-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Yep, Cady. She's been sounding croupie and coughing alot. During the day she's not as bad but at night she said she could not breathe. Tried to get her in at her Dr today. For the first time in 32 yrs I was not givien an emergency appt. It may have been the rude hag woman I had to speak to. All my kids and grand kids are seen by Larry and Nancy.They will see Cady till she is out of high school and then we have to find big people Drs. Heck, I can call them at night at home if need be, they are wonderful. Not the new gal up front. But this is not part of the tale. I had to go to the hospital because she needed to be seen. Turns out she was in bad shape. Needed 3 breathing treatments and a shot of steroids. We were there for 4 hours. She was hooked up to monitors for everything.

Fall Is A Comin

2008-09-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Fall is my favorite time of year. I love to bake and knit and cook big pots of soups and bake bread. In the morning I will dig out my fall decorations and start cleaning and replacing summer with fall. Spent the day getting Joe and Cadys things ready for the 9-11 ceremony tonight. Sadly when it came time for me to hop in the jeep and head out my back gave me trouble and I was late. I finally made it but forgot the 6 sets of stairs that I had to climb at the Space Hall Of Fame. I did make it to the top but poor Joe found me in the crowd and saw I could not stand for the entire ceremony. Back down all the steps. At least I had his strong arms holding me and helping me to the car. I got no pictures of my husband and daughter in uniform. I am very proud of them both. Next week I am going to try to go with them to the next training session at the firehouse and get a few shots.

MTV

2008-09-07T23:19:00.000-07:00

After watching the last few awards I had to pop on here and say just a few things. First YEAH Britney! 3 Moonmen. It was so hard to see her last years performance. Then her Year of Living Dangerously. If you are or know anyone with mental illness then you know what I mean. And then there was Russell Brand. He yelled at us all night. He gave me a pain in my head. His jokes where not funny just dirty. Make him go away. This was really the worst VMA's ever. Who produced this mess? But as you can see, I still watched now didn't I?

What Was I On?

2008-09-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

Just checkin out my profile. I didn't remember putting that I was in the "Fashion" industry. Must have been in a funny mood that day. If you could see what I wear you would know what a huge joke that is. I like clothes from the 60's actually. Made in India. And a good pair of comfy jeans. I find pointy shoes weird looking and imagine they hurt but maybe not since everyone seems to love them. I have sometimes wished I was more stylish and with it but it's not me. Tonight is Gages birthday. Gotta go start cooking. With things the way they have been of late a family gathering is going to stress me out. Maybe just for today it can all go away and it can be Gages day. Doesn't seem too much to ask huh? Have a great Sunday all.

Shirley Muldowney Would Be Proud

2008-09-07T02:26:00.000-07:00

Cady raced with Brandi tonight and they came in 6th place in the Bomber Class. She wants her own car and as much of a fear as I have of such things I feel like it is better than other things she could be doing. Tonight she and Brandi met a stunt driver for Transformer 2. He wants them to come out to the White Sands on Monday and meet Shia and maybe a bit background part. I don't care much for movie folk but if she is with Brandis folks then she can go. They have been in town (some of the film crew) for a while since Shia smashed his hand. Cady may be getting a car. Hey, it's better than boys that's for sure.

Man Up MOm

2008-09-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, yes, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I cannot bring myself to put it on here but take my word for it. Then an hour ago it started to rain. Like build an ark type rain. I know where the leaks are and ran and put out the buckets. This folks is the 2 yr old roof. Leaking fast and getting worse. new leak in laundry room. Piece of ceiling came down. Hubby called to tell me to stay home as the roads are all flooded and closed. I took that chance to yell at him for the leaks he should have fixed. Our old fireplace inches away from the house with each rain causing new leaks. Not his fault. Me: a huge bitch today. And then since the power didn't go off I thought I would visit a few of my favorite blogs and cheer myself up. What I found put me in my place. Molly, waiting any moment for baby Marin to be born. Baby Ruby had eye surgery last week and is doing great. Little Carson had yet another brain surgery and is home safe at last. My roof leaks? I am ashamed. All the stuff I could not blog but are keeping me awake at night are still just not that important when I read about what others are dealing with and I must say they are doing it with so much grace. I have to get it together. My kids need to get their lives together and give me some peace. My bloggy friends teach me so much. Some of you just drop me sweet notes now and then sending your kind words. They are one of the biggest blessings to me right now and to you all I send much love.

Gone Fishin

2008-09-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

I will be more postive or make a good try. Cady, Joe and Jimmy and little Seth went to the mts fishing today. Caught no fish. Do we ever? Had a good time. Cady doing better. Gave her dad her cell phone. Didn't want to but her sister in law kind of forced her into it. Now we can get a handle on things maybe. Feels like winter. Joe keeps the air on all night and I swear you can find ice in the dogs water bowl in the morning. Hope you had a great week-end.

back in the ER again

2008-08-19T12:03:00.001-07:00

Due to pain beyond what Cady could stand and the fact that vicodin wasn't helping, we returned to the ER last night. Because they did not take pictures of her shoulder or arm the night before. Brandi told them that she thought Cadys arm may be broken due to the way she found her laying. I was told not to come with but to wait while they took x-rays and did a cat scan that first night. Last night it looked like we may be in and out in under an hour. I must have been high to think such a thing. They took us in within 4 minutes. Waited for 5 minutes and bam, they were right there taking Cady back to x-ray. Brandi along again to supply any info and cuz she was sure that Cady had some unfound internal injuries and may die. I have been blessed all my life with friends who truely loved me and I am so happy the my Cady has that kind of a friend too. Cady was back from x-ray in 10 minutes and then we waited. For 2 or more hours. Brandi brought her required reading with her and I ended up telling her the story since she hates to read.( huh?) One of my favorites and a book I have read at least 4 times, Wuthering Heights. I don't think she was all that interested in my mini version of the book but I tried. It was a way to kill some time. Her shoulder and arm are not broken but they think her shoulder is separated. Think? They immobilized her arm and gave her percocet and sent us home again. She is still in alot of pain but theres nothing I can do about it. She is going to have to let it heal. Brandi and Cady are going to start drag racing in a few weeks so I guess she will feel better by then. Brandi's parents are professional drag racers here and have fixed a car for Brandi. She wants Cady to ride with her. Okay, I am the origional hoverer but with other kids their age drinking and doing drugs or having babies I have decided to lighten up and let her have a life. Brandi is her dads only daughter and he will not let them get hurt. We live where there is nothing for kids to do and thats when they find bad things to entertain themselves with. Yes, I am worried but I am letting her give it a shot.

What A Difference A Day Makes

2008-08-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

Last night we tried to go to the county fair again. It rained everyone out the night before. Our fair lasts only from Thursday to Saturday at midnight. Got there Fri at 8pm and left during a huge downpour. Joe and I got soaked. Kinda fun. Joe worked all Sat helping a friend roof a house. He arrived around 9 pm and the rain came with him. I got there early and followed my kids around and got lots of pics of my grandkids. That's all I wanted anyhow. Joe ate an ear of corn while we huddled in a dry corner. Cady and her boyfriend found us and so I got a few pics of them too. Yes, pictures are the only reason to go to the Otero County Fair. Anyhow, I need to move this along and get to sleep. As you can see by the pictures from today Cady had an accident. She and Brandy and boyfriend Brian were 4 wheeling and having a blast out in all that mud. Cady ran into a ditch at 30 mph and flew over the handlebars. yes, she was wearing a helmet. She hit the bars very hard and then flew over them. Brandy jumped off her vehicle and ran to Cady who was unconscious for a minute or more. Brian got there a minute later. They got her to the hospital. After x-rays and CT scans and bloodwork she is okay. She has a severly bruised stomach wall and a concussion plus lots of bruises on her legs. She thought she was just fine but by the time she came back from x-ray she was crying in pain. Cady doesn't like to let people see her cry. She can take alot of pain before she will complain. I knew she was hurting bad. They gave her morphine in her IV twice until the pain subsided. Tonight she sleeps with moma and dad is on the couch where the air conditioner blows right on him and he is a happy guy. Our girl could have in been serious condition. I am so thankful that tonight she will be snugged up to me. God Is Good. The pic of guy in white coat and hat is Cadys big brother, Billy. Soon as he heard he left work and flew down the mountain. All she wanted was big brother to be there. The other guy is shy Brian. And then Brandy. Brandy was the one who knew how hard she hit and had to force Cady to the ER. I had sleeping kids here and had the ringer off on my phone so it was a while before they got hold of me. I will never turn off the damn phone again.This is always what I worry about.

What Can I Say?

2008-08-14T01:06:00.000-07:00

I have things to post. I thought I would get around to it. But you see I cannot tear myself away from Michael Phelps and Yang Wei. There were a few sad moments on the high bar and the rings that broke my heart. These people work for years to get to the Olympics. To watch them get back up and go on with their routine is just amazing. It's 2 am.

Happy Blogaversary Mary

2008-08-13T01:03:00.000-07:00

In honor of the one year anniversary of her blog ,Mary is having a giveaway. She makes beautiful jewelry. She has a necklace I covet. She is giving away lots of yummy things. Because I know nothing about linking you will have to reach her through the comment she left on my last post. geesh, i really need to let Joe teach me how to add links. one of these days. One more thing, Mary is Crystalchick. I think I better get some sleep, I will regret the goofyness in the morning.

Help

2008-08-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

I have been sucked into the tele. I cannot stop watching the Olympics. The opening ceremony was for me beyond words. The minds that created such beauty, can you imagine? I used to be a swimmer when I was young and I always love watching them hit the water. Today was the first day of school. Like I said last year, now that it's just Cady here the thrill is just gone. After a summer of non stop eating and fighting and complaining with 5 kids I was always thrilled when school started. Heather read that Metallica is going to be in Albuquerque in Oct. If she goes we are going to send Cady for her birthday. Joe doesn't know that yet. I would love to go but that close to Xmas I am sure it will be impossible. We have too many animals to board. Joe can go and I can sit with the critters and little Natalie. And how is your week shaping up?

pictures

2008-08-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I have to get some pics of Christian and Seth and Natalie on here. I just noticed that I just don't have enough. My family is so big that I am not keeping up like I want to.For now I am posting one of Christian. He turned 13 in June. He is my first grandchild. He's a nice boy. I love him.

Did I Make A Mistake? Yup, I Think So

2008-08-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

No matter what I plan my days are never my own. What I would not give to be able to just be home alone and work. Someone always calls me with something. Not even one day this week was mine to have and to hold. I have to try to get my work done at night. I was folding laundry at midnight last night. I had let things go to the point that Joe wore dirty clothes to work yesterday. Pretty bad. Yesterday when I picked up Cady from work she sounded terrible. She was running a fever and since Joe was out of town she slept with me. She had today off so I thought I would give us both a treat and turn off all the phones and sleep in. Sleep we did. It was late when I got up. I have not slept much a the last few weeks and it was such a needed rest. She was feeling better and we had plans ( I am not allowed to have those and I shoulda known) to hit the small mall for school clothes and shoes. Before we even got to the shower a knock on the front door took it all away. A boy who used to live near us several years ago. A boy whose mom was a bad drug addict. I know the life he had and it was pretty sad. I used to take him and his sister clothes and food. Dad came and took kids away and mom eventually got it together and kids came back. Cady used to have a crush on him and it was never anything I felt good about. Anyhow, he shows up at my door today, Asked for Cady who was still asleep. I acted like I didn't know him and told him she was in fact asleep. And that's when that damn little voice told me to call him back. Bring him inside. When he saw my bible on the coffee table he perked up and started talking to me about God. About the Bible. He ran away from mom last night as he felt she was back on drugs. He was staying with people who he thinks she is getting drugs from. He begged to move in with us. I have never really gone into my boys teen years but suffice it to say that I will never do teen age boys again. We have no extra rooms and I do not know him really. He was pitiful for sure. We fed him and prayed with him. He cried and told me his confusing tale. I told him I would take him to my church and talk to the pastor who is a really great guy and my dear friend. He was up for this but still wanted to move in. He was in his truck that was about out of gas. Guess who gave him 20.00 for gas and then waited for 2 hours for him to return so we could go to town to drop his truck at his moms. The truck isn't legal and he needed to park it. Well, Cady and I waited around till we could see he was not going to come back. A few weeks ago my dogs had to eat popcorn for dinner the night before payday. Owning your own home means your savings gets eaten up in repairs. Especially an old house. So, I feel okay about giving him the money because today I could afford it. In my heart I thought I was helping. He said he was having headaches from giving up smoking weed last week. I suppose he got rid of his headache after he left my house. The thing that bothers me is that I know he will be back. I was an easy mark. I know I will be dealing with him again. Pastor Rick gave me a few of his cards tonight and I will hand him one and tell him to give Rick a call. Something about this has left me feeling very nerved out and I don't know what. I just feel creeped out. His stories of why his grandparents would not take him in made little sense but I ignored that and I should not have. After all these years I am still a sucker and didn't learn a thing.

My Little Guy

2008-08-01T13:11:00.000-07:00

Today was the awards day for the Summer Reading Program at our library. Gage and Grandma and Grandpa read 140 books since May 25th. This is Gages 2nd year participating. It's a bit of work because we live out of town. It is so worth the little drive. He has learned to love books. He knows how to behave in a library and speak in his library voice. I noticed that alot of other kids and adults too still need to work on that one. For every 12 books read the kids got to put their name in for different prizes. Gage was sure he was going to win something but he did not. He did earn a special T shirt that he is wearing in this pic. Just in case I had brought with me a few little gifts for him. His favorite thing was from Biddie all the way in Canada. Kung Fu Panda chapstick. He got a few other things and he felt special and that's all I wanted. And now I gotta get going on that baby shower. It's tomorrow.

pictures and other stuff

2008-07-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

here are some photos of kids and grandkids and a few things i saved cuz they made me smile. i noticed they were building up and i thought i would just throw them out here. oh boy, phone!

Oy, Such A Week I'm Having

2008-07-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

With the flooding over for the moment we will have to wait to see if the fix job Joe did actually helped. Poor old house, I know it can't help it. I got little sleep last week end but more then Joe. Monday I was ready to start the clean up around here. Phone rang ( I'm not a phone person) and it was my son Billy. Calling from work and asked if I could help out Robin (his wife) for the day. She was pretty sick and running a high temp and was just having hell. They seldom ask for help and I thought I could just put off work till Tuesday. Monday was also the last day to turn in Gages library books and vouchers for the latest books we had read. That means I had a 1 yr old a 3 yr old and a 7 yr old going to the library. It was Cadys day off and I made her come along. Gage won 4 free kid lunches at Applebees so after library we all went. Jessie(Gage and Jody's mom ) met us there with 4 month old baby Jody. Wow, that was nerve wracking I gotta say. Nehemiah (1) was alot to handle. I forgot what it's like to wrangle so many kids in a restaurant. Noise was kept to a minimum and I kept up with our cracker mess. By the time we left I could have used a rum and coke. No, I don't drink and drive but it was just a thought. It was a fun long afternoon and Robin felt better by the end of it. I have 8 grandkids but am pretty much the only grandma on duty except when Robin and Jessies moms are in town, so I feel it is my job to be a really good one. Soon as I get the MRI done on my back I know I will be a better gram. Even though we do lots together it could be more I think. Yesterday was my day to clean. Phone rang bright and early again and it was Joey this time. By the way, he has been doing much better these days. Being the husband and dad he should be. Anyway, he sounded odd and he never calls me in the morning unless something is wrong. Soon as I asked what was wrong he began to cry. That's never good. I won't go into details but he found a mass that made it very painful to sit. Had bleeding a month ago and was now very afraid. I told him to go to his dads and I would be right there. Went to the ER. They suck is all I can say. I stayed with Joey till the rude woman DR came in . I ended up seeing a few old friends who are nurses and resp therapists. Helped one old lady back to her room as she was lost. Finally went back with Joey. He has no insurance so he was given the el cheapo exam. He will have state insurance in 30 days. We will get a ref from Heathers friends the Drs and go from there. They told him he may need surgery. It scares me a bit. I am going to Jens blog "The Comfy Place" to read up. Now maybe today I can clean and do laundry but I won't get upset if I get called away. When you're a mom it is forever. I was so glad that Joey called his dad and I. He kept saying he was sorry. My Moma passed away when I was 6 months pregnant with Joey. What I wouldn't give to have my Mom to turn to in times of trouble. If mom is in your corner who can be against you?
I also have a bay shower to get ready for my friend JJ who is here from Calif. She is having a baby girl and is due Oct 1. She has 2 sweet little boys and this will be her last baby. She has been over seas for both her other pregnancies and never had a shower. Her mom asked me to give her a hand and so I called my girls and we are going to make lots of goodies and bring out every pink thing we can find. I am supposed to be making shower treats now and I better go. The phone could ring any second and I will have to duck into the nearest phone booth and cram myself into my SUPER MOM/GRANDMA cape and costume and fly out the door. Or limp out ,whatever.

Wet You Say?

2008-07-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

My hardwood floors in the livingroom are looking bad. Even with buckets the water splashes onto the floor. Joe got called in at 8 AM to the fire dept. They are on standby and have to fill sand bags. Roads are closed in Tulie and here. My friend JJ said her old auntie had called and water has now reached her back door and is coming in. Joe got up on the roof and tried to do what he could with some caulking. He got the leak that has been letting the water into my bedroom window sill. If this keeps up we won't be the only people whose old houses are in trouble. Joe did get 3 Legs to pee this morning. Yippy! He had to stay with him and play for a while. After running long enough he decided to go. Guess I will try to dry my poor floors again and bake something. I made bread and cinnamon rolls yesterday before Jimmys mom got hurt. She had her hip replaced last night and is doing well today. Jimmy was at the hospital by 6 AM. Cady got flooded in at Joeys last night. This is the biggest rain we have had since 1986.

And GOD Said "Let there Be Rain"

2008-07-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

And so it rained. And rained.
Joe got home from his 5 days in Detroit last night. H had a 4 hour layover in Phoenix. Then flew into El Paso and drove himself the 1 hour home. Fixed the dead air conditioner and ate the chicken soup with big fat home-made noodles that he loves. He then loaded up and DROVE back to Phoenix. He was delivering a car and picking up another. Someone at the office made a mistake and Joe didn't need to be there first thing this morning. He drove all night for nothing. Then had to hang out in his truck until today in 104-106 heat. Those guys are such idiots. The rain started at 11 last night. The dogs do not like doing their thing in the rain. The 3 legged wonder pup has refused to go since last night. He is screaming at me from his kennel. He cannot be running the house. he chews everything and at some point he may just explode. Or die from urine poisoning. His eyes are looking a bit yellow. I keep taking them all outside. Duke and Jack went even though they didn't like the rain. # legs peed about a teaspoon 2 times. He could not just stay put and finish. Knowing he has to go is making me feel like I am going to explode.I cannot stop thinking about it. It's been 25 hrs. He got a slice of bread for dinner and thats it. he isn't going to poop in his cage for me to clean. Plus it would be the poopy paw prints going through the house. Oh why did I let Cady talk me into that dog?
The whole town is flooded. Closing the highway to Tularosa. No EMS service. No life flights. I am listening to Joes fire dept scanner and things are busy. All arroyos are full. They have been up the raod from me for 3 hours trying to pull a truck from 4 feet of fast rushing water in a low point in the road. Several years ago a woman and her 2 kids were washed away because she thought she could make it. It is a well known fact in these parts that you do not drive into water after a big storm. Somebody always does it anyway. I was on my way home from Hathers. Had to watch the kids. Jimmys(Hubby) mom felln her kitchen while dumping a pan of water from her leak in the ceiling in the laundry room. She slipped on the tile floor and ended up in an ambulance going to the hospt. The poor gal broke her hip. I watched the kids while they waited for her to come out of surgery. Whole new hip. On my way home the rain was so bad I could not see. A person with their brights on ran me off the road. It was not possible to see where the road was. I was in a hurry or I would have followed them home and chewed them out. It's almost time to empty the rain pan by the fireplace. It is raining pretty good in there. New drip in laundry room. Joes got some fixin to do. why is it that if i try to fix my spelling bloger won't let me replace the letters? I have to redo the entire sentence. see where it says bloger and not blogger? well, like that. I am too tired to fix anything tonight. so, just guess at what maybe I was trying to spell. i am still wet. well, it's raing in here too. but more of a leak than rain. livingroom-raining for sure. the one nice thing tonight is all the frogs croaking and hopping around. it sounds so cool. it's like they rehydrate as soon as the rain hits them. within an hour there they are.this is a big mess and I know it. sorry. anybody seen an ark?
okay, i just read this awful post. the only way i know to fix the spelling is to start over and that isn't happening. most all of the spelling errors are from me changing a letter and when i added another it took one away next word over. see, i may have grammer problems and be a lousy writer but i cannot abide poor spelling. just so ya know