mamarazzi

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Location: United States

I HAVE 5 KID10 GRANDKIDS,2 DOGS,1 and 2 LOUD PARAKEETS. I MISS THE 60'S AND THE 70'S,LOVE TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY FAMILY,,THEY ARE SO BURNED OUT ON ME AND MY CAMERA. ITS SUCH A RELIEF WHEN MY BATTERIES GO DEAD.My dream is to run away and work in a little book store in Ireland and live in a little stone cottage with a few cats and watch the sea.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

They're Gonna Lock Me Up







If I don't write a letter explaining why I cannot be a juror, they are going to do something bad to me. I am stupid not to have just done it. I feel like I need to write a grand paper the likes of which I no can do. See? My writing is not so good. In the morning I will be writing anyhow. It feels so odd that I am expected to just show up at the courthouse. As it is my kids take up most of my time. I am so tired of my life not being mine anymore. If they were little that would be okay. I just need to be sewing and painting and putting in a garden this year. I need to. There is someone who needs me to babysit nearly each day. Then in the evening or early Sat morning there is a game of some sort to be watched. I want to be at those games. I want to cheer them on. I am proud of the little guys. Lately there is no time in my life for me. Not really any. I feel bad for complaining about this to you. A few nights ago I found time for me. I stayed up till 2AM. I planted the flowers I bought last week. I put a coat of wax on the kitchen floor. I even found some of my sewing that had gone missing. I want to share with you a pic of my husbands boots. He had the money to get new ones he just never took the time to get them. Joe gets his moneys worth out of his boots for sure. My sweet Cady bought me several beautiful bunnies for Mothers Day. I collect so many things it seems. I cannot wait for next Mothers Day and little Isabella will be about 9 months old. Cady is about 28 weeks now. Time is flying.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Strange Days Indeed


Okay, where do I begin? Hmm. Lets just say that the new Dr sucked. How's that? The waiting room was okay. Little by little the people coming in the door got curiouser and curiouser. Cady loves everyone and refuses to not speak to the crazies when they speak to her. Even when they are speaking to themselves near her. I have no problem with poor folk with mental illness. But I do tend to keep a safe distance from many of them. This waiting room was some kind of portal to another world I am certain. When my name was called I hated to leave Joe and Cady out there. I feared Cady would have one of them moving in with us. They real odd ducks came in after I was called. I was left to wait in room 3. I was surprised to see an old iron hospital bed instead of an exam table. More surprised to see it had a white and very used sheet on it ands no paper. A pillow with a cotton case and dirt and a few odd hairs on it. The bedsheet had lots of dirt from shoes at the bottom. On the floor was more dirt and sticky crapola. One of the 3 chairs in the room had an old bath towel laying on it to cover the hole. A dusty filthy table next to the bed had some kind of machine with all its wires hanging out. I sat in the only hard back chair. The other 2 had cushion seats that wear really scarey. I called Joe on my cell and began to cry. He had already taken (drug) Cady out to the truck. I told him I was okay but I hated this place and he began to tell me about the others that came in after I went to the exam room. I could hear some lady gagging and heaving really loud someplace down the hall. The only window in my room had a medical poster taped over it to serve as a curtain. The trash can was overflowing. I tried to replace the look of disgust and fear with a more serene and smiley face. My Dr here that referred me to this man told me he was very nice and his patients loved him. Oh, I think I know why. I tried to show him the large folder with all the films of my back and hip. You know, the MRI I had done to give the Drs a view of my problems. He gave them a quick glance. I tried to show him the paper with what my Dr found to be wrong. He laughed and said that was just someones opinion and he would see for himself what was needed. Then he started talking very fast and with his east Indian accent I could not understand most of what he said. I caught on fast that he didn't think much of repeating himself. When he mentioned cutting into my back I heard that and thats when I began crying. I didn't need to be embarrassed cuz he totally ignored me. I asked about therapy and what could I do. Should I join a gym? Could he give me some things I could do at home? He drew me a few sketches and gave me a handout with a few pictures of a man doing squats and such. Then he came to the part about my pain meds. I have been having some bad hip trouble for 3 weeks and really wanted to find out what the deal was with that. He was not interested in that and just ignored it all. He wrote a prescription for pain meds. The same I am taking but 60 pills more. I needed maybe 15 or 20 more. When I told him that the pharmacies are all having trouble getting that particular medication he wrote another script for me for a very strong pill that I didn't think I needed. I mentioned that to him and he gave me the Stink Eye and kept writing. I told him I would bring it back to him if I didn't need it.(it, being the perscription) Like if the other meds where available. He said not to bother. Just throw it out. Well, okay but it seems like they should keep a close eye on pain meds. So, after all this would you let this man cut into your flesh? Or give you a shot in your spine? See, I knew you would say that. As it turned out I asked the gal at the pharmacy about the pills and she said they were about the same as what I was taking. But be careful. So I am guessing the reason people love this Dr is his free ways with meds. Many years ago I would have been glad to have this Dr. Today I am grandma, mom and wife. I want to be alert and enjoy my life. I know I cannot do that if I am in the kind of pain that I have been having but I am sure that there must be a better way. I am on the road to find it. And this is why for so many years I did not bother going to any Drs.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

My Family and Me
























































Today is my long awaited appointment with the physical therapist. Joe is taking off work to drive me the 85 miles to Las Cruces. It has been 6 weeks of waiting. I hope something good comes from this day. I may be setting an appt for a shot in my back. If it will make the pain less then I will do it. Maybe he will send me to the gym. That would be nice. Joes new job is great. What a difference it makes when you know for sure that you can buy toilet paper. I mean really. I even have food stocked up in the big freezer. The bad thing is that we never see him. He works 12-14 hour days. He is happy and thats all that matters today. Here are pics of what we have been up to lately.