Country Grandma Cooks Up Some Pioneer Woman

No, I am not cookin up Ree. I am cooking up another one of her yummy lookin recipes. Cooking is something I love love to do. I tried out her olive spread stuff. We didn't like it. it was better as a cold dip but still not so good. But that's just us. I think it would be good with not so many green olives and more black. I am trying out her recipe for brisket. Looks good and I bought everythng she said to buy. I put in less soy sauce though but thats about it. It is in the fridge tonight and I will cook it tomorrow. I love the way she shows you how to do it. If I knew nothing about cooking I think I could learn and cook many things on her site. She takes wonderful pictures and gives perfect instructions. Well it's been another stress filled day right up until a minute ago. Heather called with bad news of her ex husband. I love him dearly. Thank God he lives in Georgia and what he does cannot hurt Christian.

No El Paso ,Yippy

Surgery will not be in EP it will be in Las Cruces. We have a giant hate for El Paso. Just a nasty place. Cruces is 45 min away and such a nice town. Heather is going in a bit to figure out the exact day. She needs to do this soon as in some cases gall stones can be fatal. She has way too many. If one blocks a duct she will end up in our ER and that is not good. If she is doing okay she may be able to come home the same day. I was in the hospital 3 days and felt terrible pain .But I didn't have a toddler crying for me at home. Cady was 9 or 10 and she was fine. Joey took Jessie to lunch today and even though that was nice and all, I don't think it means anything is going to be different. He just told me that he was mad because he came home and her mom looked like she was moving in. She had stayed 2 nights and he was done. Well I don't think her folks like to be around him much so I don't think they wanted to move in but who knows. Her parents both drink and smoke and Joey does not get along with her mom. He does like her dad. But none of this is either here nor there. Joey has to treat others much better. On a totally other note he did do one nice thing. H bought his dad a plasma TV. My ex had a birthday last Mon. I thought it was on yesterday for some reason and told the kids not to forget. When I found out I felt so bad. I had a few presents for him amd a card. I ran over and told him why Heather had not called. She baked his favorite brownies and got him a gift card and he was happy. My ex and I are now the friends that we started out as in 1969. he is one of my best friends. He and my husband get along just fine too. It is so nice and I wish everyone could get along with their ex. Once you have kids with someone you are family forever like it or not. Okay, in the shower.

One More Thing

My girl Heather thought she had the flu this week. But when it left and come right back she thought it might be worth looking into. Good thing. She was sent straight to the hospital for an ultra sound. 7 gall stones. Dr said it looked like a quarry in there. They want her in the hospital now. She will not go into our hometown hospt. Her Drs are also family friends and are sending her to their surgeon friend in El Paso.(100 miles away) Don't exactly know how I am going to be everyplace at once but we shall see. I have to stay with baby Natalie. She is mommys girl and is not going to handle this well. This is the worst thing for Heather. I am going to stay at her house and someone will have to help me with Gage. Want to hear about my ulcer that has made a comeback since the Joey show last night? I have been so sick to my stomach all day. Joe and Cady cooked a nice dinner tonight and it was so appreciated. I knew better than to eat. You know the rest of that story huh? GRandpa Joe will probably take of work Monday to take care of Gage for me while I take care of Seth and Natalie and Christian. They have great times together. Joe is every kids favorite grandpa. Okay, did I complain enough? I thought so.

Before I got sad I was going to post these pics

I love old things. Tea cups and tea pots. A beautiful old doily or just about anything you may find at your grandmas house tucked away on a shelf. These old things say home to me. Joe and I are the same in this and this may be why we are so crowded here. But these old things are here to stay. The 2 tea cups and the star, I found at a weird little hole in the wall shop last week. They were so under priced I had to get them. I have a few other pieces from the same pattern. The beautiful glass hanging in my kitchen window was a gift from Cady and Sara for my birthday.

The Things I Don't Say

I have never really gone into anything that was too unhappy or personal about my family. But ya see, I have this son. His name is Joey. I love him more than my own life. LIke I do all my kids. He has been the source of more tears and misery in my life than any 5 people. His poor wife is 33 weeks pregnant. His little boy and my sweety pie Gage, is 3 yrs old. He has bouts of depression and to make himself feel better he will do whatever it takes. He does not care how much he hurts Jessie or what Gage sees and hears. On Dec 25th 2000 I had a breakdown and was hospitalized. It was 3 days shy of being the 1 year anniv of the day he was taken in hand cuffs from our home. He was gone for 3 1/2 yrs. He turned 18 behind prison walls. I insides are shaking so bad I can only sit and stare. Why am I here? I don't know. Maybe next week I will read this and gain some insight that alludes me right now. His cruel and selfish treatment of his poor wife makes me so angry I cannot put it into words. I wish he would just move out and let them have some peace. Jessie loves him and I don't see that happening. In his selfish rotten way he loves her too. But this is not love that anyone needs. If he does not change or get help I feel that I may disown him but that really changes nothing. I love him and he is a hurtful person. It is not about him anymore. His wife and babies come first. They were married one year last Sunday. As his mom it breaks my heart to see how he hurts Jessie and not be able to make him wake up and stop. His friends are his main concern. Like a 6th grader. Tonight if he had answered my call it would have been so bad. The baby is due soon and I need to be there for her. My mouth could ruin that. Her mom was here for his show tonight. Her parents live in the mts. They have drinking issues and Joey is rude to her mom when he gets the chance. I am through with my son. But how can I be? There are my grandbabies to consider. There is my daughter in law. And there's this unconditional love that I have for him.It's like being crushed under a ton of stress.

I Meant To Do That

To be totally dull and boring that's what. I just never have any time to myself where I am really awake. And nope, this still is not one of those times. It's after 11PM. I am sleepy. But hey, not nearly as sleepy as I would be had I not passed out on the couch from 5:30 until 7:00. I was sitting there and then I was waking up. Dinner was ready at 9:30. Yuck, I hate cooking that late. Nobody woke me up. I did the same thing last Thursday night and missed all but 10 minutes of LOST. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. I only have a short time left and then Jessie will be quitting her job and having the new baby boy. Her last day at work is March 10th. Oh I will miss my little Gage. But I will not start missing him each day till around noon. I just cannot be out of bed for 15 minutes and feel like reading Clifford or Pooh. I can't even focus that early let alone see actual words. I have never been a morning person. I come alive at night like a bat or a night crawler. I love to be up all night. When the kids were little I found that if I could just outlast them I could clean house and do laundry in record time. You can do alot when you aren't wiping a butt or stopping a fight or feeding someone every 10 minutes. And then, if after staying up late and getting all that work done, you can manage to get up before they do you can have maybe one cup of coffee in your clean home. But drink fast, you know how early those little guys get up. They gotta, they have alot of messes to make and not enough daylight to get it all in.

NOT TOO

As in Not Too Good. The Oscars last night were not too good. They weren't awful but they weren't good. When the show was over I said outloud "was that it?" Surely the good part was coming right up. Ah well, there's always next year. I must say, DD Lewis didn't have on my favorite Tux but he is still one of my 2 bestest guys. The other, Johnny Depp naturally. Johnny Depp can do no wrong as far as I am concerned. Dressing offbeat is just what he does and I love it.

better than last year for sure

Yes, she looks so much better than she did last year but still. When she turns to the side there's this boob thing going on. They are laying there like your boobs do just as they are about to be squished between 2 squares of what looks like plexiglass during the ever fun mammogram. Sorry Jennifer.

and the award for the worst dressed couple.....

It's 2/3 of the way through and there have not been too many really great moments. I hope things pick up. I did love that John Stewart gave the girl who was part of the winning duo for Song Of The Year, her chance to have her say. (yes, I have no way with words) I have much more to say about the ever important clothing choices. My usual choice of day wear is a flannel shirt and ugg boots, so you know I am way into the whole fashion thing. But some of the things I have viewed tonight are pretty funny and I love it. These people make me feel okay about myself. I love Daniel Day Lewis. He stars in 2 of my favorite films. My Left Foot and Last Of The Mohicans. But still, I am thinking he and his wife were dressed by the same stylist. How else could they both be so awful, right down to their shoes?P.S. Okay, after watching Daniel win his 2nd Oscar I have something I must add. I do love his earrings, though I like men to wear just one.( my husband is from Texas and Texan men don't wear earrings cuz they are not girly boys) I must also say that his speech was good and gee he has a beautiful and loving smile. And I was wrong, that wasn't his wife.

IT'S OSCAR NIGHT!

I have to admit it. I love the Academy Awards. I have watched since I was a little girl. Since whenever they first became televised. My mom and dads families both worked and lived in Los Angeles, my moms father worked at MGM. He was a cook in the commissary. When we were little there were always great stories and gossip about this star or that and I was hooked. My mom bought her first collie dog from Rudd Weatherwax, the man who owned Lassie. Well, the group of Lassies. Did you know the origional Lassie was a boy? Anyhow, I hope you enjoy your evening. Wish I had seen all of the films. I have only seen Juno. Nope, I don't get out much. Yesterday was heaven. Have a good one all!

Girls Day Away

Way away. Tomorrow my daughter Heather and I, are going out of town. Las Cruces actually.I have been saving babysitting money and she has cash she has been socking away for a purse, she decided to buy clothes instead. Dillards is having great sales right now and we are headin out. We never do this. First, I never buy clothes. Whatever is on sale at Walmart as I wander by. But recently I have lost near 38 lbs. I can fit into smaller clothes. Even my sons noticed and thats a big deal. Last yr at this time we were over there shopping for Joeys wedding and we took note on how great the sale was and we were coming back next yr. Well, it's now next year. Knowing me I will come back with nothing for me. But I am really going to try not to spend it all on clothes for Cady. She would prefere I would get some clothes for me. I just never like to spend money on nice things when I still just look fat in nice clothes. Well I am not thin or even near that neighborhood but I am much improved over last year. It will be nice to drive over there with just baby Natalie. We can do whatever we want. Wander through the mall and eat where we like. Already I can feel the guilt. There are people in need of food and I spend money on me. Cripes! I'm goin and that's it. ps, I just found this old picture of Heather and I when she was 1 yr old. That 31 years went way too fast.

Another Request For Prayer

There is a blog I ended up at somehow. It is called The Comfy Place. It belongs to Jen and she lives in Austrailia. She is very ill with cancer. She is a mom. She is an amazing woman and if you go to her blog you will see what I mean. God Bless
ps, ya know, I have asked for prayers a few times lately. I believe it makes a difference or I would not ask. I believe you feel the same way. It is what we can do.

THe Crybaby

Joe is in Colorado tonight and I am such a punk. I begged Cady to sleep with me. Not only is it way too cold to sleep alone, I still like my baby girl to cuddle up with mama. A few more years at most and she will be out on her own. That thought hurts. She seems so young. Well, she is so young. I planned a big turkey dinner for today. As it turned out it was just myself and Christian and Seth. How sad that was. In the end Heather and Jimmy came out to pick up the boys and they ate with us. It was great to have the boys over night . Jaylon came out for a bit. I can't do all the grandkids at once. When all the little boys get together it is a madhouse. They go crazy. I have to get up early to get a fire going and warm up the house before Gage gets here so I am on my way to bed. Good night John-Boy.

And so,I wait

Joe and Cady got an emergency call at midnight. They are volunteer fireman and first responders. It was a roll over on the highway. I am worried. Last accident they actually had Cady help extricate an old woman from a car. She did a great job. She is starting first responder classes next month. She has learned an amazing amount of things working at the vets office. She can find a vein and put an IV into a cat. That aint easy. She can do x-rays and take vitals and has even helped in a few c-sections. She will get college credit for the first responders class. I am proud of her. The slowest moving girl in town managed to get ready and out the door tonight in approx 1 minute. Wish she could do that on school days. Today was great. Went to Carlas church and sat by my Chuck. Last Sunday he was just out of surgery and today he was next to me in church. I had my arm around him every second. His daughter on one side and I on the other. What a blessing. What a miracle. I didn't know how bad it was till his daughter told me today. I have a house full of grandsons and I am cooking them a big turkey tomorrow. I cannot wait. We did cupcakes today. Its Christian and Seth tonight. Good boys too. LOve you all and good nite.

Enough With The YUcky Weather Already

We are growing mushrooms in our armpits from lack of sun and too much of the wet stuff. I know I have that seasonal depression thing. I can take it for a while but comon. Last night Joe and I went to a couples Valentines dinner at church. It was put on by the youth group (the one that Cady quit) and aside from terrible serving skills it was great. Nother story. Got home and as we stepped down from the truck this incredible smell hit us both. There is nothing like the smell of rain in the desert. The sage and mesquite it carries you away. Well it does until you remember that there is about 3 logs left on the porch and if you can smell it then the rain is gonna be hitting your head, like now. Since I am all dressed up in my nice clothes Joe has to change shoes and run like hell. We actually have plenty of wood this winter. Joe splits and stacks as much as will fit on the back porch as we need it. Maybe 3 times a month. I hate fighting with him over the wood thing. I used to do it myself. I have back and knee issues now and can only do a little. I cannot haul any wood. it sucks. I like to do it myself. I saw myself as Carolyn Ingals on Little House. Don't laugh, I really did and I loved it. Nursing my baby Cady by the fireplace. I had to, it was the only heat source. Anyhow, it has been raining and snowing for 2 days. We have 3 dogs. The only way out to the yard involves my nice living room rug. I just went outside and picked up poop. But the mudd I cannot get rid of. I have strewn sheets all over the place and it looks wonderful. Its easier than washing each and every paw. 12 paws is too much for me. I think we are ready for some warm days and playing outside with the kids. I was glad to see winter and make a fire and get cozy and cuddle up on the couch together and all that. I have had enough thank you. Gimme back the sun. I can't wait to plant some pansies. It's coming I can feel it. Just a little longer thats all. If I knew how to put tunes on here you would be listening to the Beatles playing "Here Comes The Sun".

My Heart Is Happy

I picked up the phone and there was this strong loud happy voice saying"Hello Debi it's me Chuck". I almost fell off the couch. Not only did I not know he was out of the hospital but he is here in town. He is at Carlas house right now but is sleeping at Momas house in her recliner.It was easier for him than a bed. He got back at midnight last night. He is being called The Miracle Man. The Drs are shocked at his fast recovery and how he is bouncing back. He knows there is more cancer. They don't have all the details worked out yet and what he did tell me was hard to understand. He still has a very thick Japanese accent and he is so excited and talking so fast I just let him talk and asked no questions. I will be back later with more news. Thank you my dear friends for all the prayers. He said he felt each one.

Happy Valentines Day

Thought I would put some of my favorites up here. I love old cards. Have a lovely day.

A Request For Prayer

This is Riley. She is having surgery for chiari malformation. All the info can be found through Molly at Lost A Sock. She is in surgery at this moment and Molly has asked for our prayers. If you have friends who pray or a prayer chain at your church please give them a call. When you take a moment to pray for others it does make a difference. Bless you for caring.

My Best Day

Yesterday I turned 55. Not a big thrill but not so bad either. I felt worse whn I turned 50. I think it has to do with that fact that I have managed to lose some weight. In 3 or 4 months I have lost over 35 lbs. I didn't notice till last week that I can fit into my old clothes that I like. I still have alot to go but I have lost enough that even my sons have mentioned I looked better. Anyhow, the best part of my day was the early call telling me that Chuck was doing better than expected. They removed the tumor which was cancerous. I have not heard anything today and hope that no news is good news.

Joe and Cady were going to take me to the mts up to Cloudcroft for dinner at the Western Bar. As it turned out Sara and Alan and Maddie wanted to come along. Billy and Robin found out and they grabbed the boys and came too. We wandered the streets and had a blast browsing the shops. Joe let me pick out a cute hippie top and a necklace to go with it. It was fun to point at something and have him tell me get it. We never do that. They sell the worlds best hand dipped incense. I got to pick all the smells I always wanted. After dinner we found a little shop that sold gelato. Oh my gosh, chocolate gelato is yummy. We found candles and handmade soaps. It's the one place around here that sells all the things I loved from the 60's. After being in a bad funk for a few days and all the worrying it was so fun to just let my family spoil me. Besides, it's not like we do that sort of thing very often. I could get used to being spoiled. I loved that we were all together. Heather didn't come and I found out later that she was at home baking me a cake. When we got down the hill everyone came over and surprised my with cake and they gave actually gave me gifts. I am just not used to that. I felt appreciated and special. I wish the day could have lasted 2 days. It wasn't the gifts and being spoiled it was the thought behind them. Like I mattered. I guess that sounds weird. I don't ever feel like I matter much. I do now. Thank you family for giving me the greatest gift ever, your love.

The Best Gift Ever

I do not have enough time to give all the details right now but had to tell you all that Chuck is doing wonderful. It looked like he might not make it and then things turned around. He is amazing the Drs. So many people are praying for him I cannot believe it. Thank you God for the best birthday I ever had. Thank you my friends who have prayed and got others praying as well. God is good.

Change Of Plans

It seems Chucks surgery will be tomorrow. (well in the morning now since it is 1AM) At 7am Texas time my friend will be in the O.R. I pray for God to guide the surgeons hand and that all will be well with my friend. I was given no details. Waiting is the hardest thing. I can do it. I will be up and praying at 6am.

and they all go marching down to the ground to get out of the rain

it is not supposed to make any sense what so ever. my day has been kinda sorta awful and thats what came to my mind when i had to pick a subject. my old friend (since the mid 60's) is very ill. his sister sent me a note telling me he was airlifted to lubbock, texas from carlsbad new mexico.they found a tumor on his heart 2 days ago. he is such an amazing man i cannot do him justice but i shall try. naw, maybe i will do that later. i tend to go on and on about things. if the tumor is cancerous it is going to be a very bad thing.please pray with me that it is not. he is a very healthy man. he rides his bike from carlsbad over the mts to see us all. thats a few hrs by car. his moma and other family live here. i had to call my ex and tell him last night,. he had a hard time with it as i knew he would. all my kids are a mess over this. we love him so much. he has always been "Unca Chuck". he is an artist, he teaches martial arts. he is a massage therapist.he is a photographer too. he is excellent at all these things but mostly it is his kindness and sweet spirit that we love. he was born in Japan. he is 60 yrs old. his real name is asada kazu-o. his mom told him and his sister to pick american names when they came to the states. his mom had to put him and his sister mariko in a catholic orphanage for several years in japan as she became a widow and could not feed her children. she would do laundry for people to earn a few pennies. she washed the clothes in ice cold streams and her hands would bleed from being frozen. the nuns were very mean to Chuck and he was so happy to reunite with his moma and sister. my kids believed until they were grown that he was a real "unca". but they did wonder why he looked oriental and they did not. i am totally afraid that we may lose him and how can we make it without him in our lives? his little moma is about 90 yrs old. she buried one child already. i pray she does not out live another. as a christian i am totally disappointed in my instant lack of faith. how can i know that God is God and believe it with my whole heart and then when things get scarey i think maybe God cannot heal Chuck. maybe i am afraid he has a plan that doesnt involve a healing. i do know Chuck is a believer and he is going to be in heaven waiting on the rest of us. if he should go first that is.oh, i see i did not mention that mariko died of cancer some years ago. just about 5 weeks before her wedding she was found to have stomach cancer. she was given 6 months but lived about 5 or 6 years. most of those years were very good too. heather and billy were in that wedding and it was so hard to see her come down the isle in the church on base she was so happy so beautiful and she was dieing. i remember watching Chuck watch her and see him make a fist and gently touch it to his heart. on the phone with jody now. jody lives in lubbock and is going to see Chuck in the morning. Chuck will be so surprised. please pray. thank you for being my friends. heres a pic of Chuck

My Excuse

Lately I never seem to get my shit together enough at a decent hour and blog. I have come up with the reason for my bloglessness, It's Gages fault.( he made me love him) Nevermind that women with several more kids and dogs running under their feet manage to keep up almost daily. Maybe it is that for 3 weeks I have had him most of the time. On Superbowl Sunday (he was with me Saturday) about sunset as Joe and I were grilling a couple of steaks, the phone rang. I could tell by the ring I swear. It was my son Joey( you remember that son right?) I could hear Gage screaming in the background "I want my grandma!". He had opened the door over his toenail and you know how that hurts. Since they recently moved out here to La Luz and live about 3 minutes away I told them to bring him to me. He stayed till 9 or 10 and then went home to bed. Since Joey works a 4 day week I am off on Fridays. Well I used to be. Joey has been remodeling their bathroom and needs Gage to be away. Power tools and all, it is understandable.Even when I don't have him I end up going to get him. 2 weeks ago Heather (oldest daughter) and Sara (middle daughter)Joe ,Cady and I took all the little guys to see a cool dinosaur display at the mall. Gage was terrified at first. He stuck to grandpa. When they were fighting last week I told them to leave Gage with us over night. So even though they are not doing what some of my friends kids do at every chance,"the dumping of the grandkids", he ends up with Joe and I alot. I love him too much and love to be loved so much in return. I never want him to prefer my house to his home. Right now it seems I need a break. I was counting the minutes today until Mommy arrived. My writing skilz are not the best, as I bring up from time to time, but I want to just let that go and get down to some blogging. So please ignore all the missing punctuation or wrongly placed commas. Although it is hard for me to ignore. I cannot get Gage to nap anymore unless I lay down too. That used to be when I could write a bit. If I lay down to get him asleep then I am the one who ends up asleep. So he left an hour ago and Joe and Cady just left for the weekly Fire Dept meeting and I am ALONE. My birthday is this week-end and my daughter Sara is taking me to lunch tomorrow. I am so excited and surprised. Of my kids, it has always been just Heather who goes and does anything special for me. I feel lucky when they don't forget. In the last 3 months I have lost about 35 lbs and I have only just noticed that I can fit into my old clothes that I love. Another 35 and I will be happy. I have alot more energy I can tell you that. I still have never done my list of 100 things. With that in mind I will tell you a couple things that are on the list. When I was 17 I hitch hiked to Calif with a couple of my friends and lived in Riverside for 2 yrs. One of the friends I went out there with ended up being my boyfriend was Jody. We rented the bottom floor of an old victorian home. It was about 5 or 6 of us and whoever came out from New Mexico to stay. I got pregnant and gave birth April 17th 1971. We had a little boy. He was beautiful. When he was 3 weeks old he seemed sick. I ran (for real, we had no car) him to the dr. They sent us to the hospital and it was awful. he was having a hard time getting his breath. They were asking me stupid questions like what yr did I graduate and all that other personal info to check him in. After I freaked out they sent someone to get the baby into the exam room. That was the last time I held him. When I saw him next he was hooked up to machines and his tiny chest rose and fell with the respirator. I was the youngest of all the people living at our house. Most were hippy school teachers and one a chemist. They all were there with Jody and I. As we waited for word we noticed a family seated across from us. After a while it became clear they were waiting for the birth of their first baby and grandchild. At 10 that night they came out and told us our baby was going to die. He had a heart condition that could not be helped. A heart valve was not developing and growing along with the rest of the heart. It was fine until he began to grow and then it could not keep up. At that point is when they put the baby by the nursery window for us to watch. I took one look and never looked again. They told us we could go home and they would call us when he was gone. How awful I thought. We stayed. He passed away just after midnight. My boyfriend and baby daddy was Jody. He never could remember my birthday or much else back then. That was 37 yrs ago and he and I have been like brother and sister for most of the years since. He was found on a street corner in France when he was 18 mo old and adopted by his parents who were military. His folks are both gone now and I am all he has in the way of family going back many years. He is always the first person to call me on my birthday every year. His daughter and Cady are almost exactly the same age. They have decided that they share a brother and that they are real sisters. He and his family come once a year and stay and we all have a great time. Why this story? I was thinking about my birthday and how Jody always remembers. Here are 2 pictures of the old house and some of the people that lived or hung out there. Thats Jody on the bed and on the porch wearing overalls. Even back then I was the one who took all the pictures.

My Computer Is Taking The Day Off

It's been coming for a while now and the has finally arrived. I need a new pc. I had to call my husband and beg for his password and promise never to tell Cady. He actually made me beg and threatened me with violence if I let my lose lips sink his ship. Cady is prone to locating virus while seeking out lyrics to her favorite tunes. I am trying to have a good day and so far, not so good. I have to have one day now and then where I get to do whatever I want. That sounds so selfish. Everyone has to do for others and thats part of being in a family or church or even a friendship. The phone has already rang 3 times since I typed just this much. Yesterday was Madisons birthday party. It had been postponed for weeks due to everyone passing round the flu. It was Saras first big thing at the new house. The new house is the old house that was the old Auntie Urbys home for 50+ years. Its a big house and never had a family. Just one little old lady. She had to be forced into a nursing home as she just could not be left alone any longer. She smoked 3 packs of ciggs a day. Burns everyplace. Walls with ugly stinky smoke running down. Urby was never a nice woman in her younger life. She is the last living sister of my ex husbands mother,Elsie. Billy (ex) tried his best to care for her but he could not do it any longer. For a couple of months after dropping Cady at school I would go over and cook breakfast for the Auntie. Sometimes the neighbors would grab me before I could ring the bell and tell me she was wandering the sidewalks looking lost. She told me each day about the man that was in her house last night. Got the picture huh? She never had children and made no friends so she had Billy and that was it. He really didn't want to do it but she had to go. She was so worked up about not being home that she got kicked out of one nursing home. Little fart she is. We love her and if it were possible maybe she could live with one of us. She can retain a conversation for a minute maybe.Then it's back to square one. This is a post I should delete and try again. I am rambling and feeling a bit like the auntie I am talking about. My thought was to blog about why I was so sad today and missing my old friends. I think I am becoming Urby only with a nicer attitude. Maybe it's a bad thing for me to ever just do a stream of consiousness thing. Oh but one more thing,Joe and I and Cady went to see Juno the other night and you gotta see it. It's not Gone With The Wind or Starwars but what it is ,is cute and sweet with a great soundtrack. Gotta say the hubby was not that into it but Cady and I loved it. It was filmed in Canada as alot of films are these days and I just love the look of Canada. I never talked about the birthday party or much of anything but thanks for being here. Whatever happened I do feel a little less sad now. I held alot of kids and babies yesterday and I generally don't get that into holding other babies. Lets face it, I had lots of my own and then I have all those grandkids. I found me a cute tiny little red head newborn and I just wanted it.Mom was young and new at the mommy thing but was nursing and that made me glad. I just felt bad that she didn't know who I was and I just plucked up her child and kept it for a while. She didnt know I was Saras mom and I eventually mentioned all this to her. You just don't let people touch your babies. The reason I ended up with the baby was the mom was in the next room and had left baby with a friend who had laid baby on a blanket next to her on the rug. She was safe and not in danger of being stepped upon. But it was very noisy and lots going on. That little thing cuddled up in the crook of my arm and smiled at me and I was hooked.It was fine that she puked on my new sweater. If you're a mom then you are always wearing poop or puke anyhow.It's part of the MOm uniform. I better go and make snacks for Super Bowl .Maybe one reason I am so all over the place with my thoughts is how many times I have stopped and talked on the phone to Joe or one of my kids since I started this post. By the time I come back I am in a different place. I tend to be a ding bat and thats okay with me. Have a great day.

I Totally Forgot

It was Groundhog Day and I let it slip by as if it were nothing.
Happy Birthday Grandma Elsie, you were the best.

THE POOR LITTLE BLOG THAT DIED OF NEGLECT

How have I let this happen? I have gone so long I just don't feel like bothering. Well that's a lie, I'm here aren't I? But still. It is freezing in my room and so I never want to blog. I do keep up with everyone else though. I never even posted many Christmas pictures. Silly since everything I take is for the blog. Forced Cady to go to the movies with us last night and we saw "Juno". Not Joes first choce but it was my turn. Loved it. Cady loved it too. Great soundtrack too. In fact the soundtrack made it the great little film it was.For me it did anyhow. Half way home after the movie Joes fireman pager went off. After almost killing his family to go help another, we finally got to the firehouse. He jumped in a car with someone else who was tool late to leave on the truck. Cady and I came home and hung out for a while and watched "The Illusionist". Pretty good. I liked that one too. Joe didn't get in till 4:am. He's still asleep. Big trailor fire. Lost one pet but everyone else got out.
Been thinking about blogging about my son Joey. He is making my life suck again and I just feel so bad that I don't want to have to hear his name even. So thats a good reason not to blog about him. He is Gages dad. The worst thing is that he and I have this very close thing. I have been through hell with him. He and wife Jessie are going to have a new baby in 10 weeks. He just isn't happy right now. he wants to be freer. Ya know, like hang out with his friends and go to bars and casinos and maybe go to Vegas. The occasional other woman is okay with him too. Ya know, he needs to be happy. He has already put this entire family through hell and now hes doing it to his own little family. It breaks my heart to see Jessie cry and be treated like trash. He has no problem fighting and saying terrible things in front of Gage. Gage stayed with us Thursday night. I need a break but not at that cost. I wish she could leave him. They just bought a new house 3 months ago. Bad timing. I don't sleep well. I can think of nothing but Gage and Jessie. Well, another phone call and Moms back on duty. Pray for my son. I want to hurt him. I'm giving him to God to deal with. It worked before.